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Does this seem reasonable to you?
by Anonymous
December 5, 2012 at 5:21 PM

I have a child from my previous marriage. She is in kindergarten. My ex is in the military stationed in California. My husband now is also in the military & also stationed in California- they are at different bases.  We currently live about 3 hours from my ex. We do every other weekend drop-off/pick up. It has not been an issue thus far.

Our divorce/custody papers state "there shall be no restrictions on the mother to relocate" I have primary physical custody (82% of parenting time) & he has EOW visitation which equals to 18% of time.

My husband recently received orders to a different base, about a 5-7 hour flight from where my ex is currently stationed. We are scheduled to leave here by the end of April. Although I am not required to ask his permission to leave (nor am I required to ask the states permission), I am required to give him 45 days notice.

When we split, he was ordered to pay almost $1200 a month in child support. Two years ago, when I met my husband, he came to me and basically guilted me in to taking a less amount because he claimed my husband would be taking on a lot of financial responsibility by marrying me and taking care of my daughter. So I reluctantly agreed to take $500 a month. I have her in dance class, she did a pre school program, etc and I never once asked him to help pay the cost, although our paperwork says that he is supposed to be responsible for half.

So now we are moving and I need to make arrangements on how to do visitations. Since she is school age and because we will be so far apart, I feel like a reasonable visitation would be 6-8 weeks in summer. That is roughly equal to the amount of time he gets her over the course of the year. I plan to make her available for Skype every Sunday evening so they can see each other that way. As always, he is welcome to call her any time he desires. During the time that she would be with him for those 6-8 weeks, I would agree to not receive child support so he can pay for childcare during the time he is at work.

Due to this move, I will be working so that I can pay for plane tickets for her and I to fly back to his location. I will not ask him to pay for her ticket at all. I feel that I am doing what I can to make this as painless as possible. Finances are a concern for everyone I am sure.

Does this seem reasonable to you?


  • Kellbel08
    December 10, 2012 at 11:01 AM

    Very reasonable!

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