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Anonymous
im losing all hope in my marriage *piog
by Anonymous
November 29, 2012 at 9:32 PM
I have been crying for the last two weeks. Because I dont feel an attraction to me husband. I've kind of outgrown him so to speak, when I married him what he could give me when I was 18 was good enough. Now that I'm 30, what worked then doesnt work now.

I want to feed wanted by someone, I want someone to want to pursue me, to wooo me so to speak. With dh, we had a child at 19, got married at 18, and I became our lifeline. If I didnt work hard we didnt eat, our bills would be late, and we would still be scrapping the surfice. Because we still didnt have a savings. Which led me into a career I dont want because if I didnt take it we wouldnt be able to survive. Dh works when he wants to, and whenever he does get a job he goes hard all the way. Until one day he cant stand the site of working there anymore than he either does just enough to get fired or he quits. Him and I have never seduced each other, believe it or not there is more sexual spark in our married coming from him, and I just do it because I dont want to argue.

I need to be wanted and not needed. With dh he needs me because without me he wouldnt make it on his own. I need to be pursued because I'm not feeling any attraction for him. I need to be seduced because I was a complete animal in the bedroom growing up. But I'm not know, theres things I dont want to do with dh, I dont move the same seductively, sexually. I dont dress the same, I'm not myself. And I dont like it. I dont feel like myself and I dont know what to do anymore I'm running out of options. I'm afraid I'm going to want to divorce my husband, and I vowed to myself that my first marriage will be my only marriage. But I also dont see myself continuing to be unhappy all my life.

Replies

  • gypsy_rose
    November 29, 2012 at 9:45 PM

    EVERY relationships go through periods like this. Find ways to rekindle the flames. Go to counseling together. Take the love dare. Go to a photo pro who does boudoir and do a couples shoot.

  • connie45
    November 30, 2012 at 12:43 AM
    Leave him. You are the only adult in this relationship. Suffering isnt noble.
  • PortiaRose
    November 30, 2012 at 12:54 AM
    Bingo. Its not just that they lost the spark. he's crap, and she didn't realize it until now.

    Quoting connie45:

    Leave him. You are the only adult in this relationship. Suffering isnt noble.
  • ReadWriteLuv
    November 30, 2012 at 12:58 AM
    People always say I'm so mean, blah blah blah, because I constantly say people are stupid to get married so young. This, right here, is a classic example of why. The things you want and need at 18,19,20 are way different than the things you will want at 30,35,40.
  • kagegirl
    November 30, 2012 at 8:10 AM
    I agree. I married at 18, and now in my 30's, I can't imagine what I was thinking to may him. We are nothing alike and our marriage was a disaster.


    Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

    People always say I'm so mean, blah blah blah, because I constantly say people are stupid to get married so young. This, right here, is a classic example of why. The things you want and need at 18,19,20 are way different than the things you will want at 30,35,40.

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    November 30, 2012 at 8:14 AM
    This is one reason marrying so very young is not a good idea.
  • momto3B
    by momto3B
    November 30, 2012 at 8:16 AM

    Find a good marriage counselor to help you both determne if your mariage is worth saving. 

  • TommyAbby
    November 30, 2012 at 9:04 AM

    This...just to say you have tried everything before ending it... but honestly.. sounds like it's time to move on. You are too young to be so miserable. 

    Quoting momto3B:

    Find a good marriage counselor to help you both determne if your mariage is worth saving. 


  • BL2010
    by BL2010
    November 30, 2012 at 9:20 AM

    First off, you don't like the way YOU are so change it. You don't like the way you dress, so change it to dress the way YOU want too. Those are the easy things. As for the marriage, are you still in love with him? Do you want the marriage to survive? If yes, then I would probably suggest marriage counseling. If not, then you divorce him and move on. Life is to short for you to be miserable. And what kind of example is that showing your child.

  • fah
    by fah
    November 30, 2012 at 10:34 AM
    Sort yourself out! Dress beautifully for yourself! Be your best sista den talk to your husband! I can relate to your story of not feeling your husband! Most marriages go through the same thing! I would say go and see a marriage cousellor! Don't give up! Work! Sometimes we have to work on our relationships! Good luck!

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