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Anonymous
my mother called me a bad mother *piog*
by Anonymous
November 23, 2012 at 8:51 AM
I had my kids christmas toys in layaway. As I was looking at my receipt I realized I went completely overboard. So I started looking on ebay, craigslist, and amazon. I found everything I had in layaway, for really cheaper. So I talked to my mother, and told her I was going to walmart today to pay on their layaway, then return everything and just get their things from where I found them.

She went nuts, told me we never had a christmas with used toys. Why am I wanting to do it to my kids just to be cheap?! I'm going to be spending the same amount anyway once I buy the boxes to put the used toys in. So why not stop being a cheap ass and give my kids the toys.

Every year I shop big for my kids, I save all year for christmas toys. But now I just feel silly paying so much for 10 toys per kid($400, 2 kids). When I can spend less money and maybe get more toys and clothes. I havent even bought them any winter/spring clothes yet. Which will most likely be another $200-$300 mainly because of my dd and all her accessories. My sons easier to shop for except for shoes. So my question is. Do you think its wrong for a mother to give her kids used toys and clothes for christmas? Would you ever do it? Money isn't tight for me, but my ex doesn't help with our kids financially so im on my own. I like to have a house full of toys and clothes for them each year mainly for my own selfishness. So thats why I'm asking.

Replies

  • gonecrazi
    November 23, 2012 at 9:03 AM

     I wouldn't give my kids used toys, but, we do what we have to do. 

  • PerfectVirgo
    November 23, 2012 at 9:04 AM
    Well, I can't afford much, so I had my kids pick out 1 thing they really wanted and that's what they're getting from me.
  • GOBryan
    by GOBryan
    November 23, 2012 at 9:05 AM

    Ebay isn't necessarily used toys. I shop Ebay all the time. Further, even if they were used, it's the same toy (something they will likely NOT play with a long time) for much cheaper. It's smart shopping. Actually, I went to Goodwill and found a TREK bike that's worth $350.00 for $20. Just have to clean it up. I found a bike for my daughter worth $80. for $10.00.. Both in very good condition. I bought them new accessories for them but why would I spend what they are worth just to get them brand new when bikes get beat up in the first place? 

    If people learned to shop smart, they'd have more money in their bank account and less financial issues but too many are too worried what others think. 

    Now, I'll be able to find and buy a used trampoline with the money I saved. My kids get the same quality toys and I have more money to play with. 

  • Nathans_mom0612
    November 23, 2012 at 9:06 AM
    I dont think you are a bad mom, but i wouldnt give used toys for christmas.
  • GOBryan
    by GOBryan
    November 23, 2012 at 9:22 AM

    Never say never though.  I had one year where hubby and I were unemployed and it was either used toys or nothing. We went from making $16k a month to zero.. That was in 2009.  I'm sure kids would prefer used than nothing. In my case, my kids are small and Autistic so they don't know the difference or care, which in that sense, it's a blessing. 

    To this  day, I mix it up. Big expensive toys like bikes, etc.. Why buy new if you can get better used. My son's $350. value Trek bike would have been a much, much cheaper bike if it were new because I wouldn't spend that much (even having the money) for a bike but the quality would not be better. So it's about quality and price. I think that's more important than worrying about new or used. 

    Quoting Nathans_mom0612:

    I dont think you are a bad mom, but i wouldnt give used toys for christmas.


  • notjstanothrmom
    November 23, 2012 at 9:25 AM

    I don't think it's wrong. I think it's smart. If your mom wants to pretend you're a bad mom for that then she is a bad mom for being so rude and superficial and putting her daughter down when she is trying her best to do things on a budget and be smart.

  • momofqtees
    November 23, 2012 at 9:38 AM

    A lot of times toys on ebay are from collectors so they are in perfect condition.  I buy more toys from ebay and the kids are happier bc they get more.  My mom is stuck up and always thinking about how much was spent rather than what was received so she would be the same way if I told her.   You are a good mom, and you can provide better for your kids. 

  • motherghost
    November 23, 2012 at 9:52 AM

    Whoever told your mother that Ebay was entirely used? I sell on Ebay and believe me we have to go through quite a few rules to prove that the item is worthy to being sold on Ebay. Most of the people I have bought from are actually businesses with new items.  Besides, is your mother going to pay your bills because you paid top dollar at a mass-marketed retail store? I most likely think not. I am like GOBryan and have autisitc children and mine don't care as long as they get something. We have recorded friend's CD's and created our own artwork on the jewel box(have done the same thing with movies that they wanted), built toys from wood, made clothes,etc. My 17yo was thrilled last year when her father carved her a jewelry box and we got her video games from GameStop(now that was used)...so the kids would be happy if they got what they wanted.

  • Nathans_mom0612
    November 23, 2012 at 9:52 AM
    Quoting GOBryan:




    Well its just something i wouldnt do. I dont look down on people who do or think they are bad parents, to each his own. My kids are so young that if i suddenly lost my income, icould buy them toys at the dollar store cuz they are just going to play them for 2 minutes and be bored anyway. I think with older kids they just have to understand the situation and be taught the true meaning of christmas. But again, thats just me.
  • Proud-mama-05
    November 23, 2012 at 10:08 AM
    I bought a few "new to us" items off yardsale pages on FB for my kids for Christmas. I bought a Thomas the train take along play set like new for my 3yr old and a bunch of games for my oldest sons ds and a ds for my 2nd oldest son. That alone saved me a lot he wouldn't have got one otherwise. But I wouldn't give used clothes for Christmas though and my kids will be getting new things as well because we use layaway too so it's just not used things. I know they wouldn't care because they're still getting SOMETHING but I would care because I CAN get them something new..even if it was just one or two new things each. Now if I couldn't I'd get them whatever I could however I could just to make sure they have something
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