The Cafe
Hello my name is Stephanie and I am new at this. Well here it goes. I am a mom of five children and go to school. I do have a boyfriend of 3yrs and is the dad to three of my five. I stay at home to support taking care of my home and my bf works to take care of the rest. we agreed on this almost two years ago due to our son get mersa at daycare. Anyways my issue is that I feel like I am just not good enough. I work my butt of to do the house wife thing and made out to be like I cant provide. This is coming from the bf. When he gets mad he throws what he does for the kids in my face and what I dont do. He turns every issues about him. He gets to take off and go out watch foot ball do what ever leave when ever. I stay mostly inside to take care of my kids. I want to go out but really dont have friends to do that. I dont say anything to my bf when he leaves yes I do at times get upset because I am left behind I dont think people think we are togethere. Then heres a new one for weeks I had it planed to take my daughter out to get shoes. Well then my bf after a night of fighting and onc again thinking I am thinking of someone else or am with someone else, comes in and tells my daughter to get dressed and takes her to get shoes. I mean really, knowing this is what I have been wanting to do. He says I am always taking her out and he hardly does. Is that my fault that when he walks out the door he grabs one of the boys or both? He leaves to go to the store and such and my daughter has asked plenty of times to go and he responds no not this time. But now all of a sudden he takes her? Am I wrong for feeling upset? I dont think this is working anymore.
Replies
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Sometimes alone but no one can make me feel like I'm worth nothing because I don't allow it.
I think you need to re-evaluate your life and decide what you want out of it. Maybe consider a part-time job to help you socially and emotionally.
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No you are not wrong.. Sounds like a lack of communicating but I always
feel you can't force a mule to communicate or cooperate. Men seem to get like a free pass I think it's bs and I'm sick of it myself on my end. -
BUMP!
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I think you're right about the free pass thing. Too many times we find ourselves saying "hes a man, what do you expect?" but it shouldn't be that way. We're not asking for butterflies and rainbows here, just a little sacrifice on a mans end, a little better flow of communication, sharing of feelings, and understanding. Am I right?
Quoting trulyblessed618:
No you are not wrong.. Sounds like a lack of communicating but I always
feel you can't force a mule to communicate or cooperate. Men seem to get like a free pass I think it's bs and I'm sick of it myself on my end. -
Your boyfriend is using the children. You need to sit down and try to resolve your relationship issues and it may take help. Seek out counseling for yourself to fix the insecurities that you have. then try and seek help for you both for the sake of the children. Even if you are apart you need to remain cordial. Remind your mate that he is determining in his actions how his daughter will feel about herself as she gets older. Is he representing the kind of man he will want her to be with.
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Absolutely.....and when we confront them they don't seem to get it either.... It really is sad....
Quoting Sarafinn2012:
I think you're right about the free pass thing. Too many times we find ourselves saying "hes a man, what do you expect?" but it shouldn't be that way. We're not asking for butterflies and rainbows here, just a little sacrifice on a mans end, a little better flow of communication, sharing of feelings, and understanding. Am I right?
Quoting trulyblessed618:
No you are not wrong.. Sounds like a lack of communicating but I always
feel you can't force a mule to communicate or cooperate. Men seem to get like a free pass I think it's bs and I'm sick of it myself on my end.
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I've heard the saying, but have never allowed ANYONE to get over just because they're male or female. A person is a person is a person. Treat me with respect and you'll get it right back in spades. I am also a stay-at-home mom and I'll be damned if I let ANYONE tell me I don't do for my kids. Being at home is HARD work. You don't get that option of just walking out and neither should he. So what if he brings in money!?! I think it would be the same even if you had a part-time/full-time job. Go to counseling, if that doesn't work, then do what you need to do because this is happening in front of the kids and you definitely don't want them thinking it's okay for you to be belittled.
Quoting Sarafinn2012:
I think you're right about the free pass thing. Too many times we find ourselves saying "hes a man, what do you expect?" but it shouldn't be that way. We're not asking for butterflies and rainbows here, just a little sacrifice on a mans end, a little better flow of communication, sharing of feelings, and understanding. Am I right?
Quoting trulyblessed618:
No you are not wrong.. Sounds like a lack of communicating but I always
feel you can't force a mule to communicate or cooperate. Men seem to get like a free pass I think it's bs and I'm sick of it myself on my end.
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Yep alot
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I continuously feel that way....BUT U can't let others dictate how U feel about yourself...U need 2 reevaluate the situation & decide if it's still what u want...if not move on...do what is best 4 U & ur kids...life is way 2 short 2 b anything but happy :)
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I think as moms, & some wifes we put others 1st. always..but lets remember that without us, it will all fall apart....happy mom= happy family
& yea sometimes i feel lonely ,,but when my kids tell me I'm the best mommy ever! its so worth it