Breastfeeding Moms

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My husband would rather I give up
December 14, 2012 at 4:07 AM
Breastfeeding altogether that is. I've chosen to exclusively pump but even when I was putting baby directly on my breast i still got complaints. He thinks I spend too much time making milk as he puts it. Says I'm lazy because the majority of my day is taking care of both the kids and pumping milk. But this is important. My kids come first. I'm mommy. And yes I need to pump every two to three hours, its necessary.

He just doesn't get it. He sees the milk piling up in the freezer and tells me that its enough. What's the point of storing it if I'm just going to keep adding to all that. He says I make enough that I don't have to do it so often. But I don't know how many times I could explain that I'm making enough because of my feeding schedule.

I feel like he just resents me at times. People around us are able to go out to parties, movies, etc on a whim and he feels I'm holding him back from it all and making marriage and life in general boring for him at this point. But he doesn't feel comfortable with me whipping my boob for nursing or pumping when people are around. I do draw the line when its family. Screw that they could deal with it. But if anyone else is around I either have to skip a feeding or seclude myself in a room till I'm done.

I just had an appt for wic and he told me to as for formula. I said I would not and he just kept trying to come up with excuses for me to do so. Like "oh but you'll be able to sleep more." It's just so discouraging.

Idk what to do. I don't want him to get so fed up with his "boring" life because I'm actually choosing to breastfeed. But I dont want to give up producing and feeding my baby what's best. Sorry for the long post. But its been eating at me and I had to get it out.


  • RyansMommie07
    December 14, 2012 at 4:19 AM

    show him the price tag on a can of nutramigen. that'll change his mind. kudos to u for doing whats best for you baby

  • MumsTheWord571
    December 14, 2012 at 4:25 AM
    Holy shit.

    He needs to grow up! He decided to be a dad. That involves stopping the partying and being a DAD! Shocker!

    Exclusively pumping is HARD. Kudos to you for doing it.

    Go to Print out 101 reasons to breastfeed. Then show him the price for a single can of formula... Multiply that by 4 (at least) then by 12. A year! Vs free mommy milk + the cost of bags.
  • Lucky2haveLiam
    December 14, 2012 at 4:31 AM

    I'm sorry you're having to deal with that :( But just keep it up, tell him that it costs apx 800/yr for formula. Also, its very possible that your child will have an upset stomach from the formula so you wouldn't be getting any more sleep anyways. Good for you for doing whats best for your baby, I'm sorry he isn't being more supportive but really having kids means not being able to go out and party whenever you want. For me playing with my baby is waay better than any party I've ever been to. I'm sorry to be a little bit rude but it sounds like he might need to get his priorities in line.

    You've already comprimised by deciding to pump exclusivley, I think its time he comprimised a bit as well.

  • BabyPink07
    December 14, 2012 at 5:07 AM
    Your SO needs to grow up. If he's jealous he can actually participate and help in your breast feeding journey.
  • Julia.C
    by Julia.C
    December 14, 2012 at 7:59 AM

    This runs through me - can't stand this. 

    I know what I would do if it was my husband, but that's probably not a good idea if you want to keep the peace.  I would sweetly suggest you forcefully lay down the law when it comes to your children ( which seems apparent that you are already doing it )  ;)  From what you've written it also seems like he is just complaining and whining ( which, although tiring on the spirit ) is usually handled by " ignoring " - I would just completely ignore everything he was saying. 

    Smile and in a very sarcastic tone say OK - YOU GOT IT - YOU'RE THE BOSS - YOU RULE - PARTY TIME - TUBULAR - FUN - PUMP IT UP - LET ME GO GET MY HOT PANTS ON - YOU GOT THE LIQUOR READY - LETS DO THIS.   ::: I imagine you saying that while the breast pump is going to work :::    

    To be honest, I think you already know in your heart what is best and I send you the energy to put up with his verbal manipulation and not let it bother you.  Men can be tools, just don't let him make you compromise something that is so good for your baby.

  • Baby_Avas_Momma
    December 14, 2012 at 8:11 AM
    I think hubby needs to do some research on the benefits of breastmilk vs. the risks of formula. Babies are only babies for such a short time and these are the sacrifices one makes when becoming a parent. Seems like he just needs a reminding of all that.
    Huge kudos for EPing!!
  • IrishIz
    by IrishIz
    December 14, 2012 at 8:43 AM

    Honestly, he sounds like an immature jerk who should have never had kids.  He is really that concerned over his social life?  He's married with life goes away or becomes minimal.  This isn't just about breastfeeding but about him wanting to control you and have a specific lifestyle.  I wouldn't be able to deal with a "father/husband" who was that concerned about his social life.  That would be a relationship ender.  The only thing I can suggest...get into therapy with him because he has some changes he needs to make.

  • Amberleigh81
    December 14, 2012 at 8:52 AM
    This ISN'T a breastfeeding issue.

    This is a douchebag issue. And your SO is one. Seriously.

    Poor guy. He chose to procreate and bring innocent children into this world and now he can't party all the time and do whatever he wants. Wah...

    I have an issue with people who DON'T think life changes with parenthood. My husband and I waited for almost a decade to have kids. We knew we needed to be totally ready to be parents. My husband used to be very selfish about his time and toys, so I do understand that attitude. He just grew up and is now the most amazing husband and father. He is mature enough to handle his responsibilities.

    I would suggest finding a group of husbands/fathers for your husband to know. I bet all of his friends are childless or single. He needs to make a new social circle since he chose to be a family man.
  • ruby_jewel_04
    December 14, 2012 at 8:55 AM
    He needs to pull his head out of his ass and grow the hell up. Breast feeding your baby is essential to you. You should not give it up because your husband thinks it makes you boring. This is temporary. And he needs to realize that. Breast milk is fat better and cheaper for your baby. And as for nursing or pumping in front of people, he needs to pull his head out on that one as well. It is perfectly legal for you to nurse in public and there are ways to do it and not show anything. He is bring incredibly immature and selfish putting his wants in front of the best interest of his child. And you can tell him I said so, read this to him.
  • CountryGirl0809
    December 14, 2012 at 9:04 AM
    I'd squirt him with breast milk! And say run!!! Run as far as you can! I'm sorry hrs so unsupportive.

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