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I love BFing, but....advice please.
by jeslc03
October 4, 2012 at 3:10 PM
I feel like the rest of my life is falling apart around me.

It makes me feel awesome knowing I can feed my baby. She is my fifth child, and I have BF her the longest. She is only 6 weeks old... It seems though that I have to nurse her every 1.5-2 hrs, and she takes at least 30 mins to eat. Takes.forever to burp, and everything else is not getting done. I tried to baby wear her today to get things done, but I was just too worried about bumping her, or her not breathing correct... I don't know, I'm sure I sound selfish, but I have other children that need me too. A house that needs to be cleaned, errands to run.

How do you find the time? I can't handle the mess anymore.

Should it really take her 30 mins to an hour each time she eats?


  • Elayna90
    October 5, 2012 at 2:34 AM
    The first 6 weeks can be super hard (think 8 hr nursing sessions in my case) but it does get easier as you and baby get more experience.
    Definitely youtube nursing in a moby. My Moby has helped so much.
  • mama02040608
    October 5, 2012 at 2:57 AM
    Just prioritize what bugs you the most and/or what absolutely NEEDS done that day. I still clean in spurts and my 'baby' is 4 :) One room a day and just quick tidying of the obvious messes. Laundry is a biggie at my house. I cannot slack on that at all. I have 3 baskets that all clean folded clothes go in and when DH and I are both home, we tackle putting away all of it together. Dishes are also important, but I do have a dishwasher, so it isn't as time consuming. In the early days we used lots of disposables.

    Once they get older it does get easier. Hang in there!
  • piwife
    by piwife
    October 5, 2012 at 3:10 AM
    I got use to it. I can nurse and clean at the same time. My baby is 5 mts, I tackle one room a day ( I do the kitchen everyday) hubby helps me a lot too. I divide my chores by days. My baby is 5mts now so is easier now when she was younger it was hard and I would feel horrible but my husband always reminded me that I was doing a very important job giving our baby the best.
  • AngryBob
    October 5, 2012 at 4:30 AM

    don't be hard on yourself. each baby is different, and the experience of coming home will always be different, too. with my first, the first several weeks were torture, trying to get her to eat. with my second, he latched like he was a professional, but i had another baby to care for. each one presents their own challenges.

    with this baby, i also got the moby wrap, and hope to be able to nurse with it.

    remember at six weeks, they're still waking up and eating all the time. and it will feel like they're constantly attached to your boob, with no breaks. it can be frustrating, and overwhelming. but! you're not the only one that uses dishes, enlist the help of dh and the other kids. the oldest is at least five, yes? plenty old enough to put dishes in the washer. i bet you anything they are eager to help out with the new baby. after nursing, put one of them in charge of putting baby back to sleep, while you toss in a load of laundry.

    also, your house doesn't need to be spotless. no one is going to care if you had a little bit of mess every once in a while. but baby does need mommy. that's the most important thing. just take one day at a time. you'll do great.

    congrats on your little one, and good job on the nursing!!

  • gdiamante
    October 5, 2012 at 10:37 AM

    1. No one worth being ever had "World's Greatest Housekeeper" on her tombstone, and no one ever made a deathbed wish that they'd kept their house cleaner. Forget that, OK? Priorities.

    2. Your other three are all at an age where they can help, according to your profile. Mine liked to help vacuum at six. I was dusting and cleaning my bathroom at the same age. Let them help you. 

    3. She will reduce the time she takes to nurse, and then you'll worry when she's done in three minutes of less... and that will still be normal!

    You're in a very normal place right now. And formula will only add another cleaning chore. Me, I'm all for dumping chores.

  • gdiamante
    October 5, 2012 at 10:38 AM

    Paper plates. They're the secret of the new mom

    And your oldest is more than old enough to wash dishes, too. Or at least to scrape 'em and put them in the dishwasher. 

    No matter HOW many kids you have, it's always a matter of balancing what's important.

    Quoting jeslc03:

    :( It's so very frustrating. I know people always say, "Oh, she just had a baby." But I feel like I should be able to at least have clean dishes to eat off of.... I know you're a ftm, but tuis isn't my first baby. I thought I would be able to balance it all...I just can't. I guess I need to decide what's most important. :/

  • celestegood
    October 5, 2012 at 10:52 AM

     I know it is very time consuming, but it DOES get better!  In a few weeks, she'll be a nursing pro, and you won't be nursing her as long (she will get more efficient at it).

    And if I were you, I would get a good carrier and nurse her when you are on the go!  I did that with my fourth, and it's awesome!

  • .sp4rkl3z.
    October 5, 2012 at 10:59 AM
    It gets better!!! DS3 is 3 months and he is so efficient now!!
  • kitty8199
    October 5, 2012 at 11:01 AM
    At first they will seem to nurse constantly
  • AudlyLuvly
    October 5, 2012 at 11:31 AM
    Chore chart for the older kids to help out, youtube moby feeding, take a deep breath, and give it another six weeks, things will be easier.

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