African American Mommies

krisdev67
I have a question, it's based off a post I saw in another group.
March 19, 2013 at 12:22 PM

This is the condensed version:

This woman posted stating that her husband had been friends with a couple prior to them getting married.  Once she hooked up with her husband they all became good friends and that couple stood in for them at their wedding.  For years they've hung out as married couples.  They went out for dinner a few nights ago and the wife of the other couple disclosed that for years she, her husband and the poster's husband had 3somes for years.  The wife didn't know, became very upset and told her husband that she wanted to leave.  (now the woman told them while they were in the bathroom).  So, her husband is pissed with her because he feels like it's no big deal since the 3somes stopped once they began dating (even the other woman told her that).  He basically said to her that he didn't tell her about it because he know how she would react. 

A lot of women are telling her she's wrong that what ever happened in his sexual past is just that.  However, IMO that information should have been disclosed because he chose to have this couple still in his and his wife's life.  IMO it's just like your husband having an ex booty call that he introduces you to and tells you that she's like family but omits that they'd knocked boots for years until you met. 

So, my question is what do you guys think?  Do you think the wife over reacted by leaving and getting upset with her husband?

Replies

  • MsCryStyle
    March 19, 2013 at 12:40 PM
    1st of all kudos on saying knocked boots lol I haven't heard that in a minute! Lol ... but heck no I don't think she over reacted. His sexual past is spilling over into their future. It would definately bother me. I have been in positions where my current partner wanted to be homies with her ex ummm?? No. We definately would not be hanging out. He should have told her.
  • Tish_Hughes
    March 19, 2013 at 1:06 PM
    Hell no age didn't overreact!
  • alisheamonet33
    March 19, 2013 at 1:16 PM

    i saw that yea i think she over reacted everyone has a past ppl change. he told her he did tell her because he wanted her to like them and like he thought she now thinks differently of the couple , that's his best friend that's not a relationship that  you give up easy.so i understand how she feels but if she believes him when he says they haven't done it since she has been with him she shouldn't have doubts now. imo

  • MomRocs1102
    March 19, 2013 at 1:18 PM
    He should have been honest about his relationship with the couple before hand.
  • Mommabearbergh
    March 19, 2013 at 1:20 PM

    lol dh actually had a friend who he introduced me to who he had relations with before me. I called him out on it because I picked up a weird vibe. I had no idea where the hell it came from but I straight asked him. did you fuck such and such. I was very blunt back then. He was like I went down on her.lol. I didn't give a damn though because it was before me. Since being with me it wasn't a big deal when I was around her because I already knew what the deal was but had I not asked him I doubt he would have told me. Do i think she overreacted...I would say yeah because to me it was before me. I feel like what has happened before me isn't affecting my present so for me NO HARM done.

  • specialwingz
    March 19, 2013 at 1:25 PM

    True, we all have a past.  But, for most, that past is where it belongs...in the PAST.  This is not only in his past, but in his present, her present and he wants it in their future!  Sure, they're friends of his.  But, they are friends who were involved in a long-term sexual relationship.  How many of you want to be friends with your dh's past sexual partners?  And, one has to ask, how long before they think it would be cool to partner swap in this case?  I mean, the man and the couple saw nothing wrong with it before.  I wouldn't put it past them to try to talk her into swinging.  I don't swing that way either!  My ex-h tried to get me into that.  NOPE!  Now way!  No how!  Just another reason on the looooong list of reasons why he is the EX!

    Quoting alisheamonet33:

    i saw that yea i think she over reacted everyone has a past ppl change. he told her he did tell her because he wanted her to like them and like he thought she now thinks differently of the couple , that's his best friend that's not a relationship that  you give up easy.so i understand how she feels but if she believes him when he says they haven't done it since she has been with him she shouldn't have doubts now. imo


  • Rain2Rinse
    March 19, 2013 at 1:34 PM
    If his past isn't staying in the past, that makes it a present problem. There would be all kinda of chaos and couch sleeping in this house if dh kept information like that from me. I wouldn't be comfortable pursuing a relationship with his friends if I had known that info.

    In her situation, I feel like he took away her choice by withholding the information from her.
  • moosesmom
    March 19, 2013 at 1:44 PM
    I saw that post. I think he was wrong for not telling her. He should have told her and let her make a choice of whether she wanted to befriend this couple or not. It's not necessarily the sex part that got me but the fact that he placed her in an uncomfortable situation. When you lie, you take away someone's choice and that's what he did.
  • krisdev67
    March 19, 2013 at 1:50 PM

     I personally feel that he should have told her because IMO NO his sexual past isn't her business.  But it is when you bring/want to keep/maintain a very close personal friendship with th person(s) that you used to sleep with.  Then to deceive her about it is what got me. I know shes probably thinkin about all of the times that those 3 may have been hanging out without her etc and now she probably questions what really was going on.  He should have given her the option.  JMO

  • Stacey1081975
    March 19, 2013 at 1:57 PM

    I don't want to be friends with anyone my hubby had sex with unless there is a child involved. I don't like surprises and this was a surprise... he should have told her and left it up to her to stay or leave....But what we not finna do is go to dinner like you didn't bang homegirl and her husband before....I ain't gonna be able to do it!!!!!

    To me it sounds like he can hit that whenever he wants...

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