African American Mommies

lele678
Overstepping Boundaries
by lele678
December 26, 2012 at 2:27 AM
Hi I hope all of you ladies had a great Christmas! Ok my Aunt Billie who I can't stand and has always been mean or does things to throw me under the bus. Alright so my youngest son's father, his wife and his mom were over at the house to give my kids their gifts. Before they left my oldest son asked my baby daddy's wife who is a licensed massage therapist to give him a foot massage. My Aunt Billie said no before I could answer. I said to her the last time I checked I had him not you. I had no problem with it and I got so mad at her for embarrasing me in front of my son's father, his wife and his mom. I had a hard time controlling my anger. What would you do in this situation? Honest opinions please thanks

Replies

  • JalensMommy2012
    December 26, 2012 at 10:12 AM
    Why did you feel embarrassed? Its not like she went off or blasted you in any kind of way. Granted yes she was out of line as you are his mother.

    I wouldn't have gotten angry or embarrassed. I would just either said yes he can have one or made mention of how awesome of a puppeteer I am because they never saw my mouth move when my elmo answered for me.

    Or if you wanted him to get the massage told them it was ok and kept it moving.
  • lele678
    by lele678
    December 26, 2012 at 10:39 AM
    She has no respect for me and never has. My Aunt has never had kids. That's y I felt embarrased because she has no respect for me and butting into my business.


    Quoting JalensMommy2012:

    Why did you feel embarrassed? Its not like she went off or blasted you in any kind of way. Granted yes she was out of line as you are his mother.



    I wouldn't have gotten angry or embarrassed. I would just either said yes he can have one or made mention of how awesome of a puppeteer I am because they never saw my mouth move when my elmo answered for me.



    Or if you wanted him to get the massage told them it was ok and kept it moving.

  • KymberleeAnn
    December 26, 2012 at 12:14 PM

    Like anything in life there are boundaries or limits, children have to be taught to stay in their place, adults too have to be taught to stay in their place at times, you don't have to get mad but just take her to the side and say to her that I will make the decisons when it comes down to my children I appreciate your help, but in the future I will ask for your help if I need it.

    Quoting lele678:

    Yes exactly I just felt that she tried to make me look like I'm not the parent in front of them.


    Quoting KymberleeAnn:

    So your aunt but in were she did not belong correct?



  • MomRocs1102
    December 26, 2012 at 3:44 PM

    I simply don't deal with people who don't know their place.

  • PandorasWorld
    December 26, 2012 at 3:56 PM

    tell her how you feel, she's old and she still lives in the old days. regardless your old enough to talk for yourself tell her how you feel. and then you need to make sure that you have a heart to heart with you ds. get things straightend out with him about the situation. i had to tell my g-ma the same about popping up at my house, questioning my kids, and just plain out thinking that she can raise my kids outside of my structure. times are changing and just because they "been there, done that" doesn't mean these current days are equal to what they did, or went through. find it in yourself to know what direction you are wanting to go w/ you babies first and then make sure that you say what you feel is needed. not trying to tell you to go completly off your rocker. but if you stand your ground no yelling, arguing, and keep stearn voice. she will have to either respect you or keep her mouth closed and then she will see how it feels to not have a voice.

  • TrulyMicka
    December 26, 2012 at 5:03 PM

    Ignore her...thats the only way you can deal with family like that other than not dealing with them at all...sometimes even tho you are grown, have && take care of your own family ...some of the older familly still dont look at you as an adult..& you may be more mature than they are....sounds like she was trying to be rude to the wife..I dont like stuff like that...it's childish..I know whatchu mean tho..bc even tho im saying all this I probably still would have said something after they left like..."I got this" but that doesnt do anything but start more sh*t

  • luvthagirl
    December 26, 2012 at 10:26 PM
    If I was a licensed masseuse I wouldn't want to be rubbing on someone's smelly feet, lol on Christmas
  • KymberleeAnn
    December 27, 2012 at 4:37 AM

    I agree with this too.

    Quoting Mother2be89:

    I would've simply said its ok, you can give him a foot a massage. Don't let little petty things like that upset you. You had no reason to be be embarrassed, the comment came from her not you. If you still felt some sort of way after, you could've pulled your aunt aside and explained to her how you felt.


  • 2boys9yrsapart
    December 27, 2012 at 8:51 AM
    Wait did your son ask or did she offer? that's what I'm stuck on. Maybe the aunt was saying no on behalf of the wife not to undercut you. If I got paid decent money to give messages during the week I certainly wouldn't want to do it for free on my off days. Just a thought.
  • luvthagirl
    December 27, 2012 at 11:50 AM
    She said her son asked

    Quoting 2boys9yrsapart:

    Wait did your son ask or did she offer? that's what I'm stuck on. Maybe the aunt was saying no on behalf of the wife not to undercut you. If I got paid decent money to give messages during the week I certainly wouldn't want to do it for free on my off days. Just a thought.

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