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mabel009
Getting over Babys Father...
March 25, 2013 at 7:03 PM

Hello my name is Mabel. I have just joined this group today....guess i'm looking for some support. Im 21 and have a 6 week old baby boy ;). I adore him and though this is harder than I could have ever imagine, i know i can do anything since i gave birth to him and that includes raising him on my own. I broke up with the babys father a couple of days after i gave birth as he left me in the hospital by myself the whole two days i was there, knowing I had a rough labor and needed someone to be there ( there is SOOO MUCH more but that was the breaking point). I guess im now just so sad because my son looks just like him.  I am done with the pain he causes me and i know will NEVER get back together with him but...its hard because i know im still not over him yet. I'm just asking all the single mothers who arent with their kids father, how did you get over? We have broken up a bunch of times but this time, i know its for real. Its just so painful looking at the child we made together and was suppose to be raising together but he totally let me down....just need to hear it gets better i guess lol

Replies

  • Lexx95
    by Lexx95
    March 26, 2013 at 8:53 AM
    I can understand where your coming from.Im trying to get over my son dad as well.Maybe dating and doing other things will take your mind of him.I reached my breaking point and i cried to let the pain and hurt go.He don't mean me no good.I always forgave him for everything but Im done i can't keep going through that if Im the only one getting hurt.i was alone through my pregnancy , labor and now Im still is and my son Will be 1.
  • MelissaPalmer
    March 26, 2013 at 12:47 PM

    I am not a single mom, but just give it some time hun.. You're strong for doing this, and you're the better person.. Don't be afraid to ask for a little help through family and close friends.. If you'd like, you can message me and have somebody to talk to.. Also since you're a new mommy, if you need any help with the little guy.. :) You're a great mommy, and so strong.! You'll get through this.! :)

  • September2013
    March 26, 2013 at 1:03 PM
    Hello.. My name is Star, im 21 and 13 weeks pregnant with my first child. Me and the father have been on n off for 2yrs but have together almost 4yrs. We were engaged at some point, but i called it off.. Our relationship has been rocky for a while.. So i broke it off, n just stoped talking to him it's like 3 days not that long, but its a progress i guess. We have been through so much.. No let me rephrase that. I'VE been through alot. I've grown tired n fed up, im just emotionally drained. I love him with all my heart, he was the person i lost my virginty to n everything, hes the only guy ive ever been with seriously.. I've spend days crying.. But i had to stpp bc im the only one hurting n it shouldn't be
    That way.. Sometimes i think im going to end up a single mom.. Be strong mama, I'm here if u need to talk.
  • GUTTADABOSSLADI
    March 26, 2013 at 10:23 PM

    It does get better! Whatever you sent your mind to you can do and always remember that child deserves the best.

  • mabel009
    March 26, 2013 at 10:40 PM

    thank you everyone for the positive replies n support. Cant say its not a struggle, and i know i have to let go of all the anger, bitterness, and resentment before i can be able to grieve the end of ther relationship and eventually move on. Ill be thruthful and admit im not no where close but with support, i know i can get there...

  • Mrsmata1234
    March 26, 2013 at 11:44 PM
    Its hard at first i broke it off with my bd a year after my daughter was born i couldn't do it before that we were sleeping in different rooms he left me at the hospital to, to go get high and sleep i was so hurt he didn't even try only reason i held on was cuz his family was my support at the time. When i finally decided to move out and end it it was hard we tried 2x to make it work but he didn't grow up and be the dad he needed our daughter to be i mean i missed the boyfriend i had before i wad pregnant but he changed after our kid was born he never was around which made it easier on me to hate him.. My daughter is 4 now i don't Even talk to him haven't seen him in 2yrs he's got a new girl and a new life.. I deal with his parents they are the ones taking is half of the responsibility and honestly i havent thought of him since.. It gets hard seeing her look like her dad but were happy just me and her i have a fiancee now who she calls Daddy and she and him have a bond like no other.. Its hard now but i promise in time it will get better and easier for u to let go.
  • mrsrobins2012
    March 27, 2013 at 12:00 PM

    I can relate, I never thought I was going to get over my youngest son father, we weren't in a relationship long we only had been dating a month then we found out we were expecting but as the months went by throughout my pregnancy we got very close and I really loved him and he was there for me. But when I was 8 1/2 months we got into a big fight (which I can't even remember what it was about now) We stopped talking never even saw eachother and at the time I was so mad I wasn`t gonna tell him when I was in labour with our son, but I knew I couldn`t really do that. When I went into labour my friend had called him and told him and he said he would meet me at the hospital he was only 10mins from it so he would of gotten there before me. Our son was in a hurry to make an appearance he was born 2mins after I got there but his father was a no show, I thought maybe something happened so the whole time I was at the hospital I was waiting, then he called me and told me he got called into work, seriously?? I knew his boss would understand I coudn't stop crying because our sons father didn't even wanted to come see him at the hospital I know him and I had a big fight but still he should of been there. He never bothered calling me after that or messaging me so I thought I talk to him he said he would come to his check up, but again he was just another no show and I never heard him, I end finding out he had a new girlfriend so clearly he had another girl on the side when he wasn't with me I sent him a nasty message but later on I regreted. And I never heard back......it took me awhile to get over him because my son is a spitting image of him but as the months went by of not hearing from him made it easier for me to just move on and I knew that I should just be focusing on our son and know that  he was the one missing out not me...last year around this time i got an email from him saying "sorry" ok a little lame considering what he did really hurt we started to talk and we were gonna set something up so he could finally meet our son but again with the excuses he never did....but he wanted to see me....so clearly he wasnt much a loss for my son he is better off without him anyways my son doesn't even see his family either they stopped talking to me when i told them that they can't see him only when they want too.


    Getting over someone is never easy especially when you have a special bond with that person, it takes time, a lot of meltdowns, and you will be able to move on......

  • iloveelijahryan
    March 27, 2013 at 12:27 PM

    hey i just wanted to tell you that you will never completely be over your sons father because your son is part of him you will always love him for the fact he gave you your lil boy the best thing to do is let him do what he wants  eventally he will find out he wants to be part of the babies life it just takes time and i'm sure you and your son will be fine see 1m 18 my son is 15 months old and his dad will always be my first true love but i moved on knowing nobody would ever be able to replace him. he's seen my son elijah 5 times since he's been born but for me i learned its better to let him come to you never ask him to do what he doesnt want to do it is his place but most guys dont rrealize that .. you can be a great mom and you can do it by urself if you have to it will only make you stronger yes when your sons older he will have questions and tell him the truth and let him decide hisself on how he wants to view his father

  • mabel009
    March 27, 2013 at 5:45 PM

    wow that is crazy and it just goes to show it doesnt matter the age, race or location; a dog will a dog. For him not to make any effort at all to be there for you while you are in the hospital giving birth to his son, shows you that he didn't really have you in his heart to begin wit. You are strong for being able to gather yourself and live for your son and that lets me know i can do it as well. I know i dont even have to tell you about how painful it is but my biggest reward will be rasing a strong intelligent man who knows how to love a woman right; without being a sucka or a dog. stay strong girl!


    Quoting mrsrobins2012:

    I can relate, I never thought I was going to get over my youngest son father, we weren't in a relationship long we only had been dating a month then we found out we were expecting but as the months went by throughout my pregnancy we got very close and I really loved him and he was there for me. But when I was 8 1/2 months we got into a big fight (which I can't even remember what it was about now) We stopped talking never even saw eachother and at the time I was so mad I wasn`t gonna tell him when I was in labour with our son, but I knew I couldn`t really do that. When I went into labour my friend had called him and told him and he said he would meet me at the hospital he was only 10mins from it so he would of gotten there before me. Our son was in a hurry to make an appearance he was born 2mins after I got there but his father was a no show, I thought maybe something happened so the whole time I was at the hospital I was waiting, then he called me and told me he got called into work, seriously?? I knew his boss would understand I coudn't stop crying because our sons father didn't even wanted to come see him at the hospital I know him and I had a big fight but still he should of been there. He never bothered calling me after that or messaging me so I thought I talk to him he said he would come to his check up, but again he was just another no show and I never heard him, I end finding out he had a new girlfriend so clearly he had another girl on the side when he wasn't with me I sent him a nasty message but later on I regreted. And I never heard back......it took me awhile to get over him because my son is a spitting image of him but as the months went by of not hearing from him made it easier for me to just move on and I knew that I should just be focusing on our son and know that  he was the one missing out not me...last year around this time i got an email from him saying "sorry" ok a little lame considering what he did really hurt we started to talk and we were gonna set something up so he could finally meet our son but again with the excuses he never did....but he wanted to see me....so clearly he wasnt much a loss for my son he is better off without him anyways my son doesn't even see his family either they stopped talking to me when i told them that they can't see him only when they want too.


    Getting over someone is never easy especially when you have a special bond with that person, it takes time, a lot of meltdowns, and you will be able to move on......



  • mabel009
    March 27, 2013 at 5:49 PM

    Its crazy bc in the beginning when i had just came home from the hospital, i kept hitting him up to come see and help me with his son and i agree completely with what your saying. I have decided that aside from the financial aspect ( because we both laid down and had our son, so we BOTH  will support him), I'm not gonna contact him to tell him to be there for his son. That's only gonna reflect on him when our son get older if he chooses to put him last in his life. Either way, i will do everything in my power to make sure my son is provided for and happy 


    Quoting iloveelijahryan:

    hey i just wanted to tell you that you will never completely be over your sons father because your son is part of him you will always love him for the fact he gave you your lil boy the best thing to do is let him do what he wants  eventally he will find out he wants to be part of the babies life it just takes time and i'm sure you and your son will be fine see 1m 18 my son is 15 months old and his dad will always be my first true love but i moved on knowing nobody would ever be able to replace him. he's seen my son elijah 5 times since he's been born but for me i learned its better to let him come to you never ask him to do what he doesnt want to do it is his place but most guys dont rrealize that .. you can be a great mom and you can do it by urself if you have to it will only make you stronger yes when your sons older he will have questions and tell him the truth and let him decide hisself on how he wants to view his father



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