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AngelMother1127
The story of my Angel baby in Heaven .
December 7, 2012 at 12:58 AM

  It all started when my best friend introduced me to some guy her boyfriend worked with . His name was Derrick I met him and soon after we fell in love. About 7 months into our relationship we decided we wanted a baby we tried and tried for 3 months (felt like years) i had always been woried i couldnt have kids but i was gladly wrong September 16, 2012 we found out the very happy news I was pregnant with our first baby ! We both cried with tears of joy and couldnt wait to tell our family & friends . Everything was going great i found the man i loved and i was going to have a sweet beautiful baby in May 2013 . Derrick works as a coal miner and doesnt get off till 11:30 around 8;00 i had the urge to pee ... after finishing i wiped as usual looking down and seeing a brownish goop . Derricks mom is a nurse in obgyn i called her and she said it was sometimes normal . Me being a first time mother was worried to death so i called my mother and grandmother & we flew to the er . Thet ran test on my blood and pee & I never heard from that . Then a man comes in telling me he is going to give me an ultra sound . I was 14 weeks i got al happy knowing i would see my growing baby . He starts the ultra sound and I asked if i could see the baby and he said yes just let me take some pictures first i agree . I look over at what i can see and i see a line and its just a straight line in my mind i was thinking the worst it has no heart beat but then i think your no dr you dont know what your talking about . He then finishes after a few mins and doesnt let me look when i ask why he says he forgot . I was fine with that & went back to my room . After about 30 mins the dr comes in takes a seat and looks me in the eyes and i hear the most dreded  words ever ... He says I unfortantly have some bad news and before he could say anymore I lost it he then tells me my baby is dead . I cry and cry till im sick . They let me go home I make it to the parking lot where my mom and friend are waiting the friend told my mom the news thinking she already knew ... i ran and hugged her and cried! She then takes me home derrick is off work i walk in and find him standing in our kitchen i look at him & say we lost the baby then hit the floor he runs up and grabs me & we cry together . The next day i go to the dr and share i bad news with them . The next morning November 27th the day before thanksgiving i go to the hospital at 6am he puts 8 pills in me to make me go into labor after hours and hours of pain and heart break i get the urge to pee really bad Derrick helps me get up. I had a towl between my legs to hold the bleeding as soon as i stand up i feel stuff coming out my water broke in the bed i thought it was just blood or something i go to the bathroom and remove the towl... its a mess of blood everywhere i freak out and start crying then i look down and see my baby it had arms legs and a face i scream for him and he comes running and i tell him he screams for a dr and they come to help me and get my baby. I go back to the bed and cry a few hours later they come to check me and i still hadnt passed the after birth . he tells me that if i dont pass it that night he is gonna use more pills he putts more pills in my bottom this time i wait and wait till i fall asleep . I wake up and nothing .Its now Thanksgiving day a woman dr i had only seen once before comes in and tells me she would like to do a d & c on me ... i agree . They prep mefor the surgery and roll me away on my bed leaving Derrick and his mom behind . The last thing i remember is them telling me im going to forget everything .. I wake up back in my room with Derrick . The surgery went well & all but it was still sad . After they took me off my oxygen and i was back from my deep sleep they let me go home where i spent the next days in bed ... it was about 3 days later i told Derrick i was ready to lay our child to rest we picked a quiet beautiful place beside our house beside a river . I took my baby out of the box and hold it in my arms and cry as does its daddy . Its been a few weeks since those days but the pain is still hear im having a hard time with it . I got a tattoo of a pink and blue ribbon on my wrist its the ribbon for still born and misscarried babies . Im very proud of it . At first i got it for my baby but then thought about it and now i know im not the only one im glad i got it i will wear it for the rest of my life for every baby that is now an angel . Thank you for reading my story ! it helps to get it out for once ... if you would like you can look me up on facebook .http://www.facebook.com/alyssa.snodgrass

Replies

  • Vipergirl22
    December 7, 2012 at 7:26 AM

    Ooh Bump for later!! Already crying from a post in mom confessions. Am sorry for you loss.

  • deviljrswifey
    December 7, 2012 at 1:50 PM
    I lost one of my twins too.
  • AngelMother1127
    December 8, 2012 at 1:15 AM

    Thank you too all the moms . It makes me feel better about it to know you have been able to get through it . Im also sorry about your losses .

  • JCmoma08
    December 8, 2012 at 3:22 AM
    i am sorry sorry sweetheart. i just lost twins october 15th. im going thru the heartache right now myself.
  • cemcnair
    December 8, 2012 at 9:39 AM
    Hugs!
  • ktcat217
    December 10, 2012 at 8:23 PM
    Awww I wish I could give you a big big hug!! You and Derrick are such strong people. I'm so sorry that this had to happen to you, thank you for sharing your story with us. My mom had two stillborns so I know how devastating it can be. It'll get better though. <3 Keep your chin up!
  • AngelMother1127
    December 11, 2012 at 12:35 AM

    Thanks again everyone your amamzing !

  • kcr168nehs
    December 18, 2012 at 1:00 AM

    Im sorry for your loss. I know it is hard and I dont have any advise on how to make you feel better or how to cope because I just lost my baby as well and it is hard to talk about and think about and to explain the feelings and emotions I am going through. But it will get easier over time at least thats what people always say. I will never forget my angel baby and neither will you. Just dont forget to live life either. Good luck and God bless.

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