I really need to vent. I am hoping just to make this whole situation work for the next few months. It has to. There are really no other options. Ok, maybe me going insane is one.
I live with my parents currently and my 3 year old ds. My mother watches my son while I go to work. I lost Apple and should be getting back by May June. As well as hopefully moving out with my boyfriend and son. Until then, I am hating coming home. I hate seeing my parents. I am so stressed and miserable because of them sometimes.
My mother has reached a point that she does not care to watch my son. His behavior is horrible because she lets him get away with things. She gives in. I have seen her try to punish him then give in and give him what he wants. When he acts kinda good, she buys him toys for it. In fact, she's grown resetful towards because she has to watch him. I found out my parents are in trouble money wise and my mother would like to work to add more income.
Oh, did I mention I give them money for rent and for watching my son. But my 21 year old brother free loads. My parents pay for all his college stuff, his food, his gas, his rent, his hockey playing. He does not work. Yet, I am getting s it on for stupid things. My mother did my car registeration because it's not in my name. Long story there. She messed then never told me my sticker or registeration came. My dad did randomly. Like it's upsetting because not only do you think your parents would always be there to help but they claim to want to all the time. Yet every turn, I get screwed somehow. I am trying to leave their house to start my own life. For some reason, they want to make that harder than it already is.
I am sorry, ladies. I am just so worn out from living at home. I wish I could leave. I am hoping it stays decent until my son and I can move out. We need a better living enivorment.
Who/what is Apple?
I don't see how they are making your life any harder, it sounds like they do alot for you. Be thankful, we don't all have that!!
I am guessing you pay less in rent than you would in a normal apartment or you wouldn't be living back home, so it sounds like you're parents are doing a huge favor but you're not seeing it. I'm also thinking your brother doesn't pay because he's in school and plays sports. Did they/ would they have paid for your school? You have a child so you should be paying rent and someone to watch your child. In the real world, you'd probably be paying way more for those things. But if you hate it so much, why not just move out now? Why isn't your car in your name? So to me, it sounds like your parents are actually helping you out way more than they should need to, so you should be grateful. Your mom is probably just worn out from watching your son, she's done her time raising kids. My best advice to you is save as much money as you can, and if your reason for being back home is financial- put yourself on a budget and become more responsible. Good luck.
by brebugmom91March 8, 2013 at 11:21 AM
Get a sitter! Your mom and dad seem to be very helpful, and your brother is in school. I know if I had a child living with me (with HER child) and another child in college, I would be doing all I could to help my child in college.
by VADIVA23March 8, 2013 at 11:38 AMGirl ,I swear your story sound like my story I hate living with my mom as well the other day I got back from job hunting the meals I wrote down for her to give to my 4 year old was thrown in the trash. I told my mom to give my daughter a lunchable she gives her a cupcake she file my daughter on her taxes and now is resented to help me get a car im so ready to move and be done. I understand your situation my mom is like that with my 30 year old sister she will give her everything and me being the one that helps her I get shit girl just save your money and leave just still respect her because thats your mom but I totally understand it gets better with prayer.
by sav820March 8, 2013 at 8:29 PM
Let your mom get a job outside the home. And find a nursery school for your child, if you need help with child care apply for it. Your parents are saving you a lot of money I would bet. Child care for one child is over 200 wk where we live. remember she is older, raised her kids, she loves her grand child but might not have a much patiences since shes old..its supposed to be her Golden years and no responsibilities for a toddler. It does get old after a while. She waited a lot of years to be FREE of children. I wouldn't do it.
And rents start at over 1200.00 for 1 bedroom. Depending on where you are could be more or less..but its most likely more. Why do you have to wait to move out with your BF ? Can't you do it sooner ?
And for the lady who's mom took her grand child on her tax..IF she pays for more then 50% of care, living expenses etc, for your child and you live under her roof..By law she's entitled to get the refund. That with her calculating all expenses bills directly related to you and your child living there...Mortgage/rent/ all utilities, land tax, insurance, food, non foods,(toilet paper laundry soaps)so many expenses when you have a home and run one whether you own or rent...be glad you have a place 2live. And you have extra to save.. Buckle down your spending and save as much as you Can & as fast as you Can and move.
March 9, 2013 at 10:13 PM
Wow... a lot of angry responses! I was once in your shoes... and my family drives me crazy too... I mean my family IS crazy... so... there's that... but I can see where you could need to vent.... It may seem like your bro is free loading.... if you look at it from a fincial standpoint... maybe not so much... think of it this way.... they are probably spending as much money on you and your son as him without you even knowing it. When you havent lived on your own yet you don't really know how much things cost... like laundry detergent, shampoo, food, toilet paper, paper towels, things for your son... things you MAY not think about at all because they are always just there... when you move out its like, "Oh damn... I need toilet paper..." I was guilty of that... And the other ladies are right about the child care... my parents helped me out with my oldest when he was little... and it wore them down... Maybe your mom lets him get away with stuff because she is GRANDMA and grandmas spoil their grandkids... they all do... because they can.... they didn't with you because as a MOM its your responsibility to raise your kids right and not have them be fat spoiled brats... but as a grandparent you sneak them cookies and let them stay up late...As much as you may hate it now, they ARE helping you.... back in the day if you werent married most families would disown you or send you to live with a relative far far away... so be greatful that they are willing to be there for you... which IMO is a human right as a parent.... but not everyone is so lucky...
I kind of know how you feel. We lived at my moms house and paid the bills because she lived in Michigan at the time. So my son was born when we lived at my old house and two months after he was born she moved back because she broke up with her boyfriend. When she moved back she took over with some of the bills we still paid 200 a month for rent, half of utilities, and we paid Internet. I stayed at home so she never had to watch him. We also paid for our food because I have food allergies. Our problem was that since I stayed home I had to cook and clean which didn't bother me because I always did it growing up. But then she would get stressed out and yell at me for nothing, it was usually after she got off work. She would eat and leave her plates and mess all over. She would make breakfast for herself and leave all of the food out for me to put away. I talked to her about it but she would start yelling at me so we just weren't getting along. She got a new boyfriend during the summer time and then a month later she told us we had to move out by the end of the month. I wish we had as much help as you seem to with your parents. I still can't get any of my son's family to watch him for more than 2 hours. He's two years old and he spends more time with my best friend than he does his family. Your parents probably want to support your brother because he is doing what he is "supposed to" like going to college. I feel like once you have a baby your parents think you are an adult and its time to support your kid the way they supported you. The thing is I understand that. They had their time when they were raising their kids and had their responsibilities and now they probably think its your turn to do that for your son.
My husband and I were planning our wedding and we were going to need help. His dad was under the belief that the brides dad pays for the wedding which they do but not mine. So my mom said she would help me get my wedding dress and thad's parents said they would help with the food. My dad called me and told me he won a million dollars. He has always played the lottery so I actually believed him. He wanted to fly us out to where he lives and I was pretty excited because he has never met my son and I haven't seen him in over 5 years. So we were talking about getting all of the arrangements made and he did not want to buy my son a plane ticket. I told him my son needs a ticket because he needs his own seat, at the time he was 2 months shy of two years old. He said the flight was selling out so I was worried because my son is very energetic and the flight was five hours long and I knew he wouldn't want to sit in my lap. He refused to get him a ticket and told me he wasn't going to fly us out. So we kind of stopped talking. I called him and asked him if he was going to help with the wedding. He said no because we had a child out of wedlock so we could pay for it ourselves. I felt kind of guilty asking him anyway because I was not going to have him walk me down the aisle. Anyway we decided to just have a courthouse wedding and save the money for a house.
This was long and some of it wasn't necessary but I just wanted to say that a lot of parents think you are on your own once you have a kid. Its nice that your parents are willing to let you stay with them and watch your son. Its hard to parent and live with your parents so best of luck to you and your son. Hopefully you guys can get moved out and on your own very soon!
That sounds a lot like where I was when I was staying with my mom. My three brothers, 27, 25, and 19, all live off of her. When I moved in I was expected to do everything. She ended up claiming me on her taxes after I told her not too. She probably would have claimed my son too if I had let her do my taxes. Thankfully I have great in-laws. I'm staying with them now.
Girl ,I swear your story sound like my story I hate living with my mom as well the other day I got back from job hunting the meals I wrote down for her to give to my 4 year old was thrown in the trash. I told my mom to give my daughter a lunchable she gives her a cupcake she file my daughter on her taxes and now is resented to help me get a car im so ready to move and be done. I understand your situation my mom is like that with my 30 year old sister she will give her everything and me being the one that helps her I get shit girl just save your money and leave just still respect her because thats your mom but I totally understand it gets better with prayer.