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thehighwaywoman
Would you marry your baby's father, just because you are pregnant?
January 4, 2013 at 3:45 AM

My ex boyfriend broke up with me about 2 weeks ago... he said i had to much baggage... but before that we had talked about kids and he said he would marry me if i ever got pregnant (keep in mind we were together at the time)


He still has feelings for me...


I'm finding out tomorrow at the obgyn if i am in fact pregnant... he's driving me... he doesnt know thats why i'm going... but i've decided to tell him tomorrow if i find out for sure that i am... and if he wants to get back together... i'll probably do it...


but the thing is i dont want to raise a child in a broken home... and he had said before he would want to marry me... i'm not sure what to do on that if that comes up... if its truly better for the baby...


If its truly better for the baby would you do it???

if it was truly better for the baby, would you marry your baby's father???
  • Only group members can vote in this poll.
  1. 18% - yes
  2. 81% - no

Replies

  • AmyParent
    Amy
    January 4, 2013 at 3:55 AM
    I got married pregnant....BUT we had been engaged for a year.

    In your case I don't think so. Maybe get back together for a bit and see what happens?

    I would be afraid of resentment towards me and the baby from dad if you rushed into marriage.
  • rwebb11
    by rwebb11
    January 4, 2013 at 7:10 AM
    Growing up with married parents is not always what is best. If there is no love in the house, their will be arguments, and regret which is a bad atmosphere and can also lead to future divorce. Get married if you love him and want to spend your life with him not just because of the baby. A baby can do one of two things, either bring you closer together or push you very far apart.
  • sbell02
    by sbell02
    January 4, 2013 at 8:26 AM

    we found out I was pregnant and we were going to get married sooner than planned until I requested his divorce papers from previous marraige to find out that he was still married to his wife. Go figure, so didnt actually go through with it. My son is 4 now and I am married to a much better man and a much better father to my son, since then bio dad has left the picture and rarely comes around. 

  • kngarber
    January 4, 2013 at 8:28 AM
    Um no. If you have too much baggage for him to love you now....a baby won't change that. I thank God every day I didn't marry my ex.
  • MistyMoo
    January 4, 2013 at 8:29 AM
    Marrying because you're pregnant and not because you truly love each other and WANT to is one of the worst things you could do.. It works now, but what about 5 years from now? or 10? Or 20?...
  • luvmybug
    January 4, 2013 at 8:39 AM

    marry for true love. that is all i have to say. 

  • Simple-Beauty
    January 4, 2013 at 9:14 AM

    "Better for the baby" would be to have 2 parents who are truly in love with each other and committed to their role as husband and wife, as much as they're committed to the role of mom and dad.

    Do yourselves a BIG favor and work your way through this list of questions, before you even begin to think about the "M" word. Make sure you're on the same page on the big issue that come up over the course of a relationship, and I'd definitely get to the bottom of the his "baggage" comment.

    http://www.connact.com/~hom/blog/276questions.htm

  • emeraldangel2.0
    January 4, 2013 at 9:17 AM

    absolutely not

    my parents did that. it was horrible

    i married my daughter's father almost a year after her birth

  • crystaljem04
    January 4, 2013 at 9:20 AM

     I did the exact same thing my ex and I were gonna break up the night i found out i was pregnant and I stayed with him and we got married, worst mistake of my life (but not my child, marrying him was the mistake) we only lasted about 3 years and 6 together total and now I have 2 kids by him and a broken home! I would advise you if you are pregnant and want to get back together to try things out before marriage having a baby by some is not a reason to get married being love and wanting to spend your life with that person is. I learned the hard way!!!!

  • MrsLondon
    January 4, 2013 at 9:33 AM

    If the two of you don't love each other and WANT to spend your life together in a committed relationship, then it's not best. You don't want someone staying with you and getting married for the sole reason that you have a child together. That wouldn't be a healthy situation in the long run.

    You could find someone later on who would accept and love both you and your child. It's better to be great apart then terrible together.

    I was a single mother before I met my husband and he is the most wonderful man I had ever dated. I couldn't have asked for a better husband and father to my girls. He takes care of us and loves us to death. DD 1's father is a complete douche bag. DD 2 is with my husband.

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