Natural Birth & Parenting

XxPixiesworldxX
Homebirthers... I need your help! (piog)
December 30, 2012 at 6:46 PM

 Okay... DH has only mentioned it twice, and the first 2 times I really thought it was mostly joking, BUT he really wants us to have Aria at home in the hot tub...

I am a WUSS with pain (no joke) I scream like a banchee during labor and I honestly dont know if its because im in a hospital OR because thats just how my body works. My last baby, my son, was supposed to be a hospital waterbirth with my midwife. I went in shortly after my water had broken, and when I got to my room I sat on the bed while they were filling the tub. They brought in the birthing ball and everything. Somehow my contractions just instantly got stronger and closer together within 10 minutes of sitting down. At some point my back started to hurt and I felt like I had to lay down, and well that was the end of that. I was stuck laying down. The pain of contractions would not let me have control, I felt OUT of control. I had a wet washcloth over my head and was completely wrapped in blankets just screaming through each contraction. My midwife and friend both tried very hard to convince me to get to the tub. The only thing that got me to sit up was the epidural on the way.

I really want to have a water birth, I really want to NOT have an epidural. Both of my full term birth experiences make me feel like I may not be able to (although I know my body can birth a baby, I just dont know if I can handle the pain, because Ive tried).

BUT I really want DH to have a say, and he thinks that if I was not in the hospital and was comfortable in my own home, that it would be easier for me to cope and the fact that an epidural isnt available would basically give me no choice.

Here is the catch... It would have to be an un assisted birth. My midwife only practices in hospitals (and i dont hold this against her because she is that amazing, and has had all her own babies at home). The good news is we are about 5 minutes from the hospital.

What are things that I should have my midwife check for, to make sure I am safe/healthy to have a homebirth? When my son was born, I had a little more bleeding than normal. I didnt need pit or anything, and I hadnt torn and I was fine but I worry about that being a bigger issue this next time around. I am also overweight, dont know if that matters.

Anyway, help experiences ect would be great.

Replies

  • joyful_mama
    December 30, 2012 at 7:41 PM

    Sounds to me like you might have some fear/anxiety issues that need to be worked through. "Birthing from Within" might be of some help to you.

    I think others will have more/better advice beyond that.

  • NDFanatik
    December 30, 2012 at 8:06 PM

    It is much easier at home in my experience.  Your husband has a very valid point.

    Is hiring a midwife to attend a homebirth not an option?  I loved my homebirth midwife, and while I was prepared to have an unassisted birth, it took a LOT of preparation and a LOT of personal responsibility to be ready for that.  It's not something I would just casually suggest.  There is a lot more to it than just staying home.  (although that does work out great for many, but I wouldn't *plan* on birthing at home without emergency plans and certain things- birth is inherently safe, but there are things imo that need to be taken into consideration just in case)

  • XxPixiesworldxX
    December 30, 2012 at 8:10 PM

     I definitely do. Im terrified something will happen and we will be all alone and not know what to do, and scared that if we did end up having to go to the hospital after baby is born for some reason, they would report us for neglect for having birthed at home. Its happened in my area many times, one family had their baby taken away for 8 months and put in to foster care because she had shoulder dystocia and had birthed at home, planned unassisted birth. A nurse called DCFS on them...

    Quoting joyful_mama:

    Sounds to me like you might have some fear/anxiety issues that need to be worked through. "Birthing from Within" might be of some help to you.

    I think others will have more/better advice beyond that.

     

  • XxPixiesworldxX
    December 30, 2012 at 8:13 PM

     There are only 2 homebirth midwives in my area, I know they are pricey compared to what our hospital costs (surprisingly) our ins covers almost everything for a Hospital birth but we would pay out of pocket for a midwife at home. I also love my midwife so much, I dont really want another one, just for the birth really, and thats where we sort of came to the conclusion that we would probly do it unassisted.

    Quoting NDFanatik:

    It is much easier at home in my experience.  Your husband has a very valid point.

    Is hiring a midwife to attend a homebirth not an option?  I loved my homebirth midwife, and while I was prepared to have an unassisted birth, it took a LOT of preparation and a LOT of personal responsibility to be ready for that.  It's not something I would just casually suggest.  There is a lot more to it than just staying home.  (although that does work out great for many, but I wouldn't *plan* on birthing at home without emergency plans and certain things- birth is inherently safe, but there are things imo that need to be taken into consideration just in case)

     

  • NDFanatik
    December 30, 2012 at 8:22 PM

    You could always attempt an "Oops, baby came too fast" kind of deal, but like I said- I don't just casually recommend that to everyone.  You need to PREPARE for it.  If you're serious about it, I can give you some emergency birth references and answer any questions you might have, but if you're going to do it then don't go into it half-assed, please. 

  • joyful_mama
    December 30, 2012 at 8:25 PM

    :( That is so sad.

    You should at least talk with the homebirth midwives if you've not already. I know you like your mw but you might like one of them just as well. :)

    Quoting XxPixiesworldxX:

     I definitely do. Im terrified something will happen and we will be all alone and not know what to do, and scared that if we did end up having to go to the hospital after baby is born for some reason, they would report us for neglect for having birthed at home. Its happened in my area many times, one family had their baby taken away for 8 months and put in to foster care because she had shoulder dystocia and had birthed at home, planned unassisted birth. A nurse called DCFS on them...

    Quoting joyful_mama:

    Sounds to me like you might have some fear/anxiety issues that need to be worked through. "Birthing from Within" might be of some help to you.

    I think others will have more/better advice beyond that.

     


  • XxPixiesworldxX
    December 30, 2012 at 8:28 PM

     This is what we were thinking... Continuing to see my midwife, and then oops, baby came too quickly at home... I would like some references while we figure out what to do. Im due april 18th and now that we are considering homebirth Im feeling completely unprepared even with all the research ive done and births ive already had. Ive looked in to birth kits and would love references on how to birth at home, how to know/make sure baby is safe/okay. We already have a doppler so we will have a way to monitor periodically through out labor.

    Quoting NDFanatik:

    You could always attempt an "Oops, baby came too fast" kind of deal, but like I said- I don't just casually recommend that to everyone.  You need to PREPARE for it.  If you're serious about it, I can give you some emergency birth references and answer any questions you might have, but if you're going to do it then don't go into it half-assed, please. 

     

  • catholicmamamia
    December 30, 2012 at 9:16 PM

    Were it me, I might look into other midwives/doulas.. :o) 

  • Firstat35
    December 30, 2012 at 10:01 PM

    Sounds like you deliver quickly?... I wouldn't do a home-birth without a midwife and some oxygen.  Other than that, I appreciated the ability to get into whatever position I wanted.  I wanted to squat as much as possible to make it go quickly. It worked and I guessed how far along I was along the way.  When you are able to move about you may feel that you have more control.  When you feel in control, you can handle the pain better. 

  • NDFanatik
    December 30, 2012 at 10:05 PM

    I agree with Catholicmamamia.  Looking into other mw's might be the best option.  There's not a lot of time really to prepare.  And I second her suggestion of a doula.  Should you go to the hospital, def get a doula!!  I had one for my natural hopsital birth and she was a great help. 

    Here are documents for UC should you choose to go that route (although I suggest looking into other options first).  Here is the Emergency Childbirth manual that is very good to have on hand.  I'm asking permission to post a guide to UC from another group so you can see more in detail the different things to look into.  3-4mths isn't a lot of time though. 

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