Natural Birth & Parenting

melindabelcher
Is it unfair?
mel
November 10, 2012 at 4:22 PM
We visit my parents once a weekish and see them at church 1-2 times a week.
My mom always puts ellie down so she'll crawl. shes close, rocks back and forth and moves her arms forward but cant figure out her legs yet.
I don't want her to crawl! Where we are/will be staying theres no where to crawl and not ok for her to be on the floor. I explained to them that once she knows she can be independent she'll want to be. Or at least thats how my older 2 were.
Am I wrong, should I encourage her? Am I really harming her?
Shes also developed the pincer grasp this week but I haven't offered solids because with housing placement undetermined I thought I would/should delay a little longer until we're more stable.
Im being made to feel like a jerk :(
Shes 7.5mo what should I do

Replies

  • melindabelcher
    mel
    November 11, 2012 at 7:18 PM
    We dont qualify for a shelter because of our vehicle. It is going to be surrendered hopefully tommorow.
    We have to go to the ER to get services for my son thats a long story I made a post about it yesterday. The title is "update 2 on page 2"


    Quoting LittleBirdFly:

    Why dont you just go to a shelter? What do you need to o to the ER for?


    Quoting melindabelcher:

    Thanks so much!

    Im in mass but we have a dr appointment for my oldest child tommorow and then the ER so I'm hopeful the social worker there will be able to help us get into a family shelter.





    Quoting FelixFelicis:

    Where do you live? Maybe one of us can help you?





  • melindabelcher
    mel
    November 11, 2012 at 7:21 PM
    Theres definetly something wrong with her!!!!!!!
    To apply for housing we need to get into a shelter which we're working on.
    There is no one else unfortunately.
    Hopefully everything will be different tommorow


    Quoting LittleBirdFly:

    sorry to say but theres something wrong with this woman! Have you tryied apllieying for Hosuing or go to a shelter? I think anything is better that living like that. Maybe they be able to help you? No friends or other family that can help you out?


    Quoting melindabelcher:

    I wish!

    Dh and her have gone rounds about this!

    Those dogs are beyond children to her. We've always been told clearly that the dogs come first, so if we don't like it don't come over. We have to watch the kids like hawks because theyve bitten kids before. If they don't want to go outside she doesn't make them, "how would you feel if you had to hold it all night or go out in the freezing cold to pee" insert eye roll

    The dogs always have/will come before anyone.





    Quoting LittleBirdFly:

    and she thinks its ok to live in dog poop and pee? cant your husband talk to her?



    Quoting melindabelcher:

    We live with my mil. They are her dogs








    Quoting LittleBirdFly:

    so you living with with who now? Because you said :my mother choses to let us move out"

    whos dogs are thoese? If the poop and pee on the floor I would kick the dogs out! The health of you and especially of the baby has priority!




    Quoting melindabelcher:

    Believe me if we didn't have to we wouldn't.



    My father is a crack addict and my mother chose to let us move out rather then ask him to stay elsewhere.



    We are trying to find a cheaper vehicle so we can get into a family shelter. Our current vehicle is valued 9000-ish but we owe 13000ish. We can't have any assets valued greater then 5000.



    My mother in law is the lesser of the evils available at this time :(



    I'm hoping to surrender our car today and tommorow in the er there will be a social worker available to help us.



    I know your not bashing :) I would think the same thing and would have never imagined we would ever be in this situation.











    Quoting snowangel1979:

    I'm not bashing or anything but WHY?




    Why would you stay somewhere covered in dog feces and pee? Just breathing that can't be good for your health. Could you maybe stay at your parents house instead.













    Quoting melindabelcher:

    Because where we are staying the floors are constantly covered in dog urine/feces and theres 3 child hating chihuahuas.





    The solids is cause I was concerned she would come to expect them. This is my first bls the other ones were spoon/jar fed and knew it was time to eat. Not sure how long we'll be in a shelter and how often nutritous/baby appropiate solids will be available.





    Idk.















    Quoting notjstanothrmom:

    I wouldn't stop her from crawling. I understand not wanting her to but why limit her growth?

    As for the solids, that I agree with. Maybe not for those reasons (how would not being in a stable house effect her eating habits?) but that is a completely acceptable age to be breastfed only.






















  • LittleBirdFly
    November 11, 2012 at 9:42 PM

    wow I didnt know you get denied at a shelter when you have a car. That seems wrong.

    Quoting melindabelcher:

    We dont qualify for a shelter because of our vehicle. It is going to be surrendered hopefully tommorow.
    We have to go to the ER to get services for my son thats a long story I made a post about it yesterday. The title is "update 2 on page 2"


    Quoting LittleBirdFly:

    Why dont you just go to a shelter? What do you need to o to the ER for?


    Quoting melindabelcher:

    Thanks so much!

    Im in mass but we have a dr appointment for my oldest child tommorow and then the ER so I'm hopeful the social worker there will be able to help us get into a family shelter.





    Quoting FelixFelicis:

    Where do you live? Maybe one of us can help you?






  • LittleBirdFly
    November 11, 2012 at 9:45 PM

    cant find this topic. When I put it in seach there a whole buch coming up but ot that.

    Quoting melindabelcher:

    We dont qualify for a shelter because of our vehicle. It is going to be surrendered hopefully tommorow.
    We have to go to the ER to get services for my son thats a long story I made a post about it yesterday. The title is "update 2 on page 2"


    Quoting LittleBirdFly:

    Why dont you just go to a shelter? What do you need to o to the ER for?


    Quoting melindabelcher:

    Thanks so much!

    Im in mass but we have a dr appointment for my oldest child tommorow and then the ER so I'm hopeful the social worker there will be able to help us get into a family shelter.





    Quoting FelixFelicis:

    Where do you live? Maybe one of us can help you?






  • larissalarie
    November 11, 2012 at 9:55 PM
    WOW!! What a nut. That's truly sad for her.

    Quoting melindabelcher:

    I wish!

    Dh and her have gone rounds about this!

    Those dogs are beyond children to her. We've always been told clearly that the dogs come first, so if we don't like it don't come over. We have to watch the kids like hawks because theyve bitten kids before. If they don't want to go outside she doesn't make them, "how would you feel if you had to hold it all night or go out in the freezing cold to pee" insert eye roll

    The dogs always have/will come before anyone.




    Quoting LittleBirdFly:

    and she thinks its ok to live in dog poop and pee? cant your husband talk to her?



    Quoting melindabelcher:

    We live with my mil. They are her dogs








    Quoting LittleBirdFly:

    so you living with with who now? Because you said :my mother choses to let us move out"

    whos dogs are thoese? If the poop and pee on the floor I would kick the dogs out! The health of you and especially of the baby has priority!




    Quoting melindabelcher:

    Believe me if we didn't have to we wouldn't.



    My father is a crack addict and my mother chose to let us move out rather then ask him to stay elsewhere.



    We are trying to find a cheaper vehicle so we can get into a family shelter. Our current vehicle is valued 9000-ish but we owe 13000ish. We can't have any assets valued greater then 5000.



    My mother in law is the lesser of the evils available at this time :(



    I'm hoping to surrender our car today and tommorow in the er there will be a social worker available to help us.



    I know your not bashing :) I would think the same thing and would have never imagined we would ever be in this situation.











    Quoting snowangel1979:

    I'm not bashing or anything but WHY?




    Why would you stay somewhere covered in dog feces and pee? Just breathing that can't be good for your health. Could you maybe stay at your parents house instead.













    Quoting melindabelcher:

    Because where we are staying the floors are constantly covered in dog urine/feces and theres 3 child hating chihuahuas.





    The solids is cause I was concerned she would come to expect them. This is my first bls the other ones were spoon/jar fed and knew it was time to eat. Not sure how long we'll be in a shelter and how often nutritous/baby appropiate solids will be available.





    Idk.















    Quoting notjstanothrmom:

    I wouldn't stop her from crawling. I understand not wanting her to but why limit her growth?

    As for the solids, that I agree with. Maybe not for those reasons (how would not being in a stable house effect her eating habits?) but that is a completely acceptable age to be breastfed only.



















  • jconney80
    November 11, 2012 at 9:58 PM
    I tend to agree but my kids all didn't crawl until closer to 9 months. I think if she was crawling already and you werent letting her it would be one thing. Honestly I wore my kids so much at that age that I didn't really worry about it. I think it's good to encourage her at church etc because obviously she's not even crawling yet and it won't happen overnight. I'd be fine with holding off on the solids. Hopefully things look up for you quickly

    Quoting Rlambert6002:

    I'm gonna be the odd man out and say you're fine on the crawling thing. Main reason being that crawling is technically not even a milestone....lots of babies never do it at all and are perfectly normal. Plus at 7.5 months she's on the early side for crawling anyways. Personally though I don't think you'd have many problems even if she did learn to crawl right now as far as her wanting in the floor all the time as long as she had somewhere to practice being in a crawling stance and taking a few " strides"...such as a playpen or crib.
  • melindabelcher
    mel
    November 12, 2012 at 6:18 AM
    I'll bump it up. I just posted it the othe day so it shouldn't be to far back :)


    Quoting LittleBirdFly:

    cant find this topic. When I put it in seach there a whole buch coming up but ot that.


    Quoting melindabelcher:

    We dont qualify for a shelter because of our vehicle. It is going to be surrendered hopefully tommorow.

    We have to go to the ER to get services for my son thats a long story I made a post about it yesterday. The title is "update 2 on page 2"





    Quoting LittleBirdFly:

    Why dont you just go to a shelter? What do you need to o to the ER for?



    Quoting melindabelcher:

    Thanks so much!


    Im in mass but we have a dr appointment for my oldest child tommorow and then the ER so I'm hopeful the social worker there will be able to help us get into a family shelter.








    Quoting FelixFelicis:

    Where do you live? Maybe one of us can help you?









  • tansyflower
    November 12, 2012 at 9:11 AM

    this is going to sound so mean of me so please dont take this the wrong way. but you should really call the housing authority and animal control on her.  livinging that type of enviroment is not okay for you, your child OR her.  may i ask why its not getting cleaned up?  if you live there (even though its not your responsibility) then you should clean it up at least for your daughters sake.  i understand what a tough spot there has got to be a way you can make this better (even if its calling then authorities) for everyone living in the house until you can find somewhere else to go.

    i get this.  my mom was like this. we not only had to get rid of her dogs, but we had to rip out the entire floor, subfloor and even replace the floor joints because they were rotting out of the foundation from so much dog urine.  i cant even begn to tell you how filthy and moldy EVERYTHING was.  this is just so unsafe :(

  • larissalarie
    November 12, 2012 at 10:39 AM
    Crawling absolutely IS a milestone, it's just not a *required* milestone nowadays with babies who spend way to much time in baby entertainers and skip doing it.
    And the question at hand is about a baby who IS trying to crawl, so obviously it's a milestone for THIS baby.


    Quoting Rlambert6002:

    I'm gonna be the odd man out and say you're fine on the crawling thing. Main reason being that crawling is technically not even a milestone....lots of babies never do it at all and are perfectly normal. Plus at 7.5 months she's on the early side for crawling anyways. Personally though I don't think you'd have many problems even if she did learn to crawl right now as far as her wanting in the floor all the time as long as she had somewhere to practice being in a crawling stance and taking a few " strides"...such as a playpen or crib.
  • larissalarie
    November 12, 2012 at 10:39 AM
    Let us know how it goes today with the doctor!

Natural Birth & Parenting

Active Posts in All Groups
More Active Posts
Featured Posts in All Groups
More Featured Posts