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Anonymous
Do you find this inappropriate?
by Anonymous
February 28 at 2:58 PM

Ok so here is my problem:

My SO and I have been together for 10 years and have 3 children.  He is a very social person and usually tends to have more female friends than guys.  This has never been an issue for me up until recently.  He started this new job about 9 months ago and has become really close to one of his coworkers.  Now, he hangs out with other females from work on a weekly basis (happy hour, lunchs etc) and I don't have a problem with that.  But he and this one women began hanging out on a regular basis, daily and not just for happy hour.  They were going to the mall, dinners, movies...etc.  If they weren't together they were talking and texting and her name was being brought up in every single converstation that we had. 

I decided one day to talk to him about it and told him that I was begining to become a little jealous of his relationship with this one person. I explained why and he said ok...he wouldn't hang out with her so much anymore.  Well, we went to happy hour one day and some of this other coworkers showed up and during their conversations it comes out that he and this woman have still been hanging out quite often and he has just been telling me otherwise.  So I waited until we got home and then tried to talk to him about it.  He proceeded to tell me that there was nothing going on between the two of them, and they were just friends who had a lot in common.  He then told me that I  was being insecure, childish, and stupid.  I then asked him if I could meet this women (try to get to know her) and maybe become more comfortable with her but he has basically pushed that aside with excuses of it would make things awkward at work (because he told her how I feel about their relationship). 

I may be a moron but I love my SO and decided to trust him, like I always have and just leave it be.  Well he has gotten to the point now that if they are going to hang out he actually lets me know again, which is good.  But last night he came home with a new bottle of cologne called Gucci Gold (which retails for between $64 - $114) and told me that this woman had bought it for him for his birthday (which was last week).  I don't know if I am completely crazy and stupid but I honestly find this gift completely inappropriate.  I don't think that any woman should be buying another man (unless they are related or together) something that expensive.  Now that is just my opinion on it...am I wrong to find this inapporpriate? 

Replies

  • Purgatorian
    February 28 at 3:19 PM
    Your SO is cheating on you. This is completely inappropriate. I would bet money she us being told a whole other story about your relationship with your SO.

    Not trying to be mean. But you are a fool if you allow this to continue.
  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    February 28 at 3:23 PM

    He's not only cheating on you he's gaslighting your ass to boot. He's not man enough to even own his actions right now, instead he lies and sneaks around while trying to make you feel like you're the one at fault here. Don't let him do that to you.

  • Gadija
    by Gadija
    February 28 at 3:23 PM
    The entire relationship is inappropriate. Especially as he doesn't even want you to meet her. You are not being insecure, childish, or being stupid. Going to the movies with another woman? No way! Im not a jealous woman myself and don't go nutballs any mmnt someone chats with my husband. But honey, this whole relationship is WRONG. least of all that present.
  • sfigu16
    by sfigu16
    February 28 at 3:25 PM
    Ia he cheating right under your nose? That is totally rude. I would tell him our relationship or you can go and be with you buddy. I wouldn't tolerate that
  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    February 28 at 3:36 PM
    It's pretty black and white that he's cheating
  • Rosehawk
    February 28 at 3:41 PM

    Seems to me that something more is going on. If he had nothing to hide, he would have been fine with you meeting her. Also, he would not have downplayed your feelings of insecurity.

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    February 28 at 4:11 PM

    Sorry sweetie, he's dating her.

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    March 3 at 3:59 PM
    This... and that is why married men should not be hanging out with other women , i would have never allowed that with my husband, some will call me insecure, no im just not an idiot.

    Quoting Purgatorian: Your SO is cheating on you. This is completely inappropriate. I would bet money she us being told a whole other story about your relationship with your SO.

    Not trying to be mean. But you are a fool if you allow this to continue.
  • SpiritedWitch
    March 3 at 4:12 PM

    I'm usually easy-going about work relationships but I'd find them together and give them BOTH a beat down. That is WAY inappropriate. 

  • ABCMomma0211
    March 3 at 4:31 PM

    You are a fool for trusting and believing him. 

    Sorry, but this is the truth, the truth is, he is cheating on you, andn you are allowing it.

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