HeatherNYC
Do You Compare Yourself to Other Moms?
March 7 at 12:00 AM

When the ladies from yesterday's Mad Life video started discussing the competitive element to mommying, I nodded vigorously and chuckled. They are so spot-on with how it feels when you see that mom. You know the one I'm talking about: she always looks put together (no grey roots showing), she has lined up the perfect afternoon snack (one that involves baking kale or something), she whips up wonderfully nutritious dinners every night (and will gladly share her recipes), and her kids always have well-fitting clothes and proper weather accessories (she kindly looks the other way when your kiddo arrives drenched from the rain in two-sizes-too-small shoes).

Yes, moms compete. Maybe not outright in a parenting relay race, but we all look at each other, mentally sizing each other up and checking off what we do better than the other and, of course, what others do better than we do. It doesn't happen all of the time and doesn't come from a place of malice, but it's there, that underlying, subconscious, subtle, usually never vocalized judgment and comparison.

Like the video pointed out, dads don't enter this competitive parenting game. Definitely not. So, why do moms do this? That's a question I have no answer for...but it's one we should figure out. These silly competitions -- SAHM vs. WOHM, breastfeeding moms vs. non-breastfeeding moms, old moms vs. young moms, etc and so on -- don't help anyone. What we really need? We need to praise each other more. Let's all try, when we see a fellow mom, to tell her, "Hey, you are doing a great job!" Even if those comparisons start to creep into your mental mommy monologue, take a deep breath and tell her. Just a hunch, but I bet you will feel better too.

How often to you feel you "compete with" or compare yourself to other moms?

ŠiStockphoto.com/ DeluXe-PiX

Replies

  • Kaci
    by Kaci
    March 7 at 12:11 AM
    I didn't
  • Bob192
    by Bob192
    March 7 at 12:41 AM

    It's hard not to sometimes when everyone else's kids seem to act better than mine.

  • chrissydan
    March 7 at 6:54 AM
    I do but i think it's because I'm starting out having kids and haven't found my own Grove I try to be super mom clean house cooked meals but as of late 8 months pregnant with #2 I have relaxed ALOT
  • goddess99
    March 7 at 8:25 AM

    I've never felt like I was competing with anyone.

  • brittany208
    March 7 at 8:36 AM

    not much

  • jessicasmom1
    March 7 at 8:48 AM

    I don't compare myself to anyone

  • Bubbie0809
    March 7 at 8:51 AM
    No, I don't compare myself, I only can do my best.
  • Saucy1
    by Saucy1
    March 7 at 8:59 AM
    I don't compare myself or compete. I tend to avoid competing moms. I know a couple.
  • elasmimi
    March 7 at 10:51 AM

    I cannot compete. I struggle with this daily, because I am raising a great grandchild, and I am disabled. She has to miss so much, because I cannot do the things the younger moms do.

  • arpazia
    by arpazia
    March 7 at 11:21 AM
    Never.
    We are all different
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