CafeMom Team
Is It OK to Have “Me” Time?
March 27, 2013 at 10:48 AM

Our lives are so full of obligations to our kids, our jobs and our families, how are we supposed to find time to do the things we love? Should we even try? Alicia Ybarbo, a TV Producer and author of "Today's Moms" and "Sh*tty Mom" joins the conversation. 

Do you think it's okay to have "me" time?

Replies

  • othermom
    March 27, 2013 at 11:04 AM

    I try to get  little me time occasionally.  Not very often though

  • Juniper53098
    March 27, 2013 at 11:14 AM

    Definitely.  Everyone needs some time to themselves.

  • louannwilkins
    March 27, 2013 at 12:05 PM

     Absolutely.  I think it's important.  It makes you a better person, mom, friend etc...We all need time to ourselves once in a while.  :)

  • abra
    by abra
    March 27, 2013 at 12:13 PM

    I do think moms need a break. Especially if mom is an introvert (as I am) and recharge through alone time, it is especially important to maintain sanity. Part of being a good mom, and fully embracing motherhood is recognizing that a run-down, worn out, exhausted mom isn't a good mom. I do make sure its at a good time so nobody is really inconvenienced by my need for mom time (because being self-ish about my time is not healthy for anyone). My kids take a nap or rest time everyday so I can have an hour or two of me time.

    That statistic about working moms and SAHM spend the same amount of time with their kids...That's just wrong! SAHM should be spending more time with their kids coupled with reasonable time away from them (not excessive because then what is the point of being home?).  

  • LindaClement
    March 27, 2013 at 12:34 PM

    I think it's hilarious that a working mom says 'I need to get out of the house' ... unless she works out of her house, that's just irrational. 

    I think it's the adult's raging sense of entitlement, not any genuine 'need' to be away from the people they love to do the things they enjoy. 

    I'm reading Peter Walsh's 'Enough Already' currently, and he makes this observation about entitlement today: 

    "Think back a generation ago. We don't carpool, we think each family member is entitled to a car. Did our grandparents have two cars? Did they pay for cable and multiple cell phones and Internet and movie rentals? Did they have computers and digital cameras and printers? Did your grandmother get manicures, massages and highlights in her hair?"

  • LindaClement
    March 27, 2013 at 12:38 PM

    I agree, that moms need to ensure they nurture their needs, throughout the day, every single day.

    That's not the same as walking away from the people they claim to love the most in the whole world, to spend hours (or days) of time and money (and often even more energy) with strangers and acquaintences (hair stylists, waiters, random people on the cruise ship).

    Generally, if kids are young enough to need a nap, mom also needs a nap. 

    I don't understand how 'me time' stopped including 'my basic physical needs.' 

    Quoting abra:

    I do think moms need a break. Especially if mom is an introvert (as I am) and recharge through alone time, it is especially important to maintain sanity. Part of being a good mom, and fully embracing motherhood is recognizing that a run-down, worn out, exhausted mom isn't a good mom. I do make sure its at a good time so nobody is really inconvenienced by my need for mom time (because being self-ish about my time is not healthy for anyone). My kids take a nap or rest time everyday so I can have an hour or two of me time.

    That statistic about working moms and SAHM spend the same amount of time with their kids...That's just wrong! SAHM should be spending more time with their kids coupled with reasonable time away from them (not excessive because then what is the point of being home?).  


  • abra
    by abra
    March 27, 2013 at 12:42 PM

    Agreed. Mom's especially need to understand the difference between a child's needs and a child's wants. Needs must be attended too (even if that need is a little more one-on-one time with mom when she is tired), wants should only be indulged responsibly. 

    Quoting LindaClement:

    I agree, that moms need to ensure they nurture their needs, throughout the day, every single day.

    That's not the same as walking away from the people they claim to love the most in the whole world, to spend hours (or days) of time and money (and often even more energy) with strangers and acquaintences (hair stylists, waiters, random people on the cruise ship).

    Generally, if kids are young enough to need a nap, mom also needs a nap. 

    I don't understand how 'me time' stopped including 'my basic physical needs.' 

    Quoting abra:

    I do think moms need a break. Especially if mom is an introvert (as I am) and recharge through alone time, it is especially important to maintain sanity. Part of being a good mom, and fully embracing motherhood is recognizing that a run-down, worn out, exhausted mom isn't a good mom. I do make sure its at a good time so nobody is really inconvenienced by my need for mom time (because being self-ish about my time is not healthy for anyone). My kids take a nap or rest time everyday so I can have an hour or two of me time.

    That statistic about working moms and SAHM spend the same amount of time with their kids...That's just wrong! SAHM should be spending more time with their kids coupled with reasonable time away from them (not excessive because then what is the point of being home?).  



  • abra
    by abra
    March 27, 2013 at 12:46 PM

    I think it can be especially helpful to have a husband/father who is involved and caring enough to recognize when mom needs some time to herself so he can advocate and provide that time for her. That way she isn't tempted to be selfish with her time, but she also doesn't end up burning out or feeling guilty. There have been times when my husband has told me to go out with my friends and he'll watch the kids (and sometime my friends kids, too, or alternately, all the husbands will get together and babysit) so we moms can have an evening of kid-free fun when it would be beneficial for everyone. 

    Quoting LindaClement:

    I think it's hilarious that a working mom says 'I need to get out of the house' ... unless she works out of her house, that's just irrational. 

    I think it's the adult's raging sense of entitlement, not any genuine 'need' to be away from the people they love to do the things they enjoy. 

    I'm reading Peter Walsh's 'Enough Already' currently, and he makes this observation about entitlement today: 

    "Think back a generation ago. We don't carpool, we think each family member is entitled to a car. Did our grandparents have two cars? Did they pay for cable and multiple cell phones and Internet and movie rentals? Did they have computers and digital cameras and printers? Did your grandmother get manicures, massages and highlights in her hair?"


  • redsoxgurl24
    March 27, 2013 at 1:07 PM
    Yes, and necessary. I work and am around people all day long. I love my job, but when I get home I need time. I usually combine it with my workout time. But it's my time. If you don't take care of yourself, how can you ever take care of other people? We all need a sort of "time out" when we recoup.
  • fraujones
    March 27, 2013 at 2:15 PM
    Yes. Many would be less resentful if they took a little personal time now and then.