CafeMom Team
Can You Affair-Proof Your Marriage?
March 18, 2013 at 11:17 AM

Keeping the spark alive is a challenge in even the strongest marriages. Andrew, Joanie and Chuck are joined by Dr. Logan Levkoff, a Sexologist and Sexuality Educator, to talk about how you can make sure your relationship “goes the distance!”

Check out what they are talking about and tell us what you think about affair-proofing your marriage. 


Replies

  • fraujones
    March 18, 2013 at 11:48 AM
    How to affair-proof your marriage? Don't cheat. You are responsible for your own fidelity and your spouse is responsible for his. This panel shares some great tips for keeping "the spark alive" but I don't think it should be termed "affair-proofing."
  • sukainah
    March 18, 2013 at 1:08 PM

    Trust is a big way.  We have a saying in Islam that if a man and woman are alone together the 3rd is Satan.  I know some may not believe that but it makes sense to me.

  • SweetLuci
    March 18, 2013 at 2:27 PM
    Having alone time. No tv, no phones, just us, so we focus on each other. It helps to be away from home. We talk about what we're thinking. We talk about the past and our hopes for the future. It's relaxing, and we can talk about anyting that's bothering us, and talk it out in a calm way. Being close and appreciating each other goes a long way toward putting up a barrier against straying, I think. Also talking about committment in a marriage, believing that it is for a lifetime, is important.
  • Heather2001
    March 18, 2013 at 3:00 PM

    Yes, ours is affair-proof for several reasons:

    1. I married someone that I trust 100% and who never puts himself in any situations that might be iffy....ever.
    2. We know each other's expectations.  We both have the same outlook on infidelity: If you cheat, we're done.  I don't expect any second chances and I wouldn't give any.  It's a one-way ticket to divorce for us.

    Keeping the spark alive is such a tiny part of the picture that I'm confused how the whole video revolves around it.  Sorry, but my hubby has put up with three pregnancies where my sex drive is just non-existent, yet he'd never think of going elsewhere for sex.  You can overcome your primal desires, you know.  =\

  • Leelee1008
    March 18, 2013 at 3:09 PM

    wow I dont think there is any way of telling. I mean it happens all the time. but some are just programed differntly.

  • GwenMB
    by GwenMB
    March 18, 2013 at 3:36 PM

    This is us.

    We've never even discussed the "what-if" of infidelity.  I don't know if either of us would automatically divorce the other if they cheated. But it just isn't something either of us would do - it just is not something we think it remotely ok.

    Quoting Heather2001:

    Yes, ours is affair-proof for several reasons:

    1. I married someone that I trust 100% and who never puts himself in any situations that might be iffy....ever.
    2. We know each other's expectations.  We both have the same outlook on infidelity: If you cheat, we're done.  I don't expect any second chances and I wouldn't give any.  It's a one-way ticket to divorce for us.

    Keeping the spark alive is such a tiny part of the picture that I'm confused how the whole video revolves around it.  Sorry, but my hubby has put up with three pregnancies where my sex drive is just non-existent, yet he'd never think of going elsewhere for sex.  You can overcome your primal desires, you know.  =\


  • GwenMB
    by GwenMB
    March 18, 2013 at 3:37 PM


    Quoting sukainah:

    Trust is a big way.  We have a saying in Islam that if a man and woman are alone together the 3rd is Satan.  I know some may not believe that but it makes sense to me.

    There are many very conservative Christians who would never be alone with someone of the opposite sex for this very reason.  Even if both behave properly, no need to invite suspicion.

  • abra
    by abra
    March 18, 2013 at 3:58 PM
    Yes, you affair proof your marriage by the both of you committing to make your marriage work. How do you do that? You put your spouses needs and interests before your own (and vis versa). Passion is work. Lust is a crutch designed for young couples to help them get through the initial transition from living for themselves to living for the other person. When the lust fades, it's time to get to work strengthening your marriage and work at continuing to stay in love with your spouse.
  • abra
    by abra
    March 18, 2013 at 4:00 PM
    I think it has more to with just avoiding the appearance of infidelity. I think it is wise to avoid one on one time with friend of the opposite sex because a) there is a proximity issue and b) even if you are both behaving, it would be easy for rumors to start that could be very hurtful to each other's significant others.

    Quoting GwenMB:


    Quoting sukainah:

    Trust is a big way.  We have a saying in Islam that if a man and woman are alone together the 3rd is Satan.  I know some may not believe that but it makes sense to me.

    There are many very conservative Christians who would never be alone with someone of the opposite sex for this very reason.  Even if both behave properly, no need to invite suspicion.

  • MamaMandee
    March 18, 2013 at 4:24 PM
    Let him know of your love of cutting things off that dangle ;)