Sometimes, my husband and I argue. We have disagreements (usually about the garbage or refilling the Brita or what is on TV)...and these oft times happen in front of our kiddo. Is that bad? I don't necessarily think so... because we purposely "fight fair." It is something we set out at the beginning of our marriage. Meaning no screaming, no hitting, no name-calling, staying on the topic at hand, apologizing when you've hurt someone else's feelings, that kind of thing.
Now, do our voices become raised and take on a different tone? Sure. We usually end up laughing, but we make sure to tell Kiddo, "Hey, we are having a disagreement on XYZ." We go on and say that we love each other and are happy with each other...but even with someone you love, you can disagree at times.
I'm told over and over that we are the main models for our kids when it comes to eating and manners. So I like to think that this teaches her how relationships work, how to safely and honestly express feelings and opinions in a respectful way with someone you love. That is a valuable skill to learn right? We all know there will be time you may disagree with a friend, a loved one, a family member. That it happens sometimes in relationships. And that is okay...when done in a healthy way. And she will, hopefully, be able to know if someone doesn't treat her respectfully, that that isn't okay or a good relationship.
At least that is my hope. Dang, it is hard, isn't it? Navigating this whole element of your relationship and how it impacts your kids.
Do you argue in front of your kids? How has your relationship with your spouse changed since having kids?
by hugssJanuary 9 at 12:09 AM
We kind of did but it looked more like playing around
It has only gotten better :)
January 9 at 6:14 AM
We argue sometimes in front of our dd and she knows I am really mad then. My relationship since having our dd is ok not better certainly not worse.
by JennMcBrideJanuary 9 at 8:14 AMWe try very hard not to.
by cara124January 9 at 8:22 AM
yes & its one of the many reasons for the divorce.
by DanaG70January 9 at 8:27 AM
First off, we don't argue about the petty crap, if we fight at all, it's pretty serious and not in front of the kids. I don't believe in putting the kids in the middle of our fights and I don't believe in discussing with them what the fight was about.
We rarely fight so it pretty much is a moot point anyways.
by goddess99January 9 at 8:49 AM
We Discuss in front of dd. Unless it's about her. My dd was 5 when I got married.
by natesmom1228January 9 at 8:51 AM
My hubby and I never really argue. We discuss things. My son is not my hubby bio son, but he treats just like he would be.
by jessicasmom1January 9 at 8:56 AM
no absolutely not allowed arguing in front of her
by mrswillieJanuary 9 at 9:11 AMNo