Cafe AmyB
Can Women Have it All? Hear what Andrew, Joanie and Chuck had to say!
December 12, 2012 at 12:12 PM

Recently we asked you "Can Women Have it All?"

We wanted to know, if you thought it was possible for women to have it all and if you were striving to have it all.


Relationship expert Andrea Syrash joins the Mad Life panel to discuss this issue.

Do you think women are setting themselves up for failure to in an attempt to have it all?



Replies

  • tanishagreene
    December 14, 2012 at 10:40 AM

    I started at 19 when I started working two jobs. Its a matter of training its not that hard

    Quoting NearSeattleMom:

    How long have you been doing that?  I wish I could exist on only four hours of sleep.

    Quoting tanishagreene:

    Yes we can and I do. I strive on four hours of sleep. I work from 2am to 8am mon thru saturday at home. my dd is up at 8am I homeschool her for four hours a day. I clean while she naps for three hours. Dinner is ready when dh gets home. We have family time for the rest of the evening. Me and dh have our time late in the evening while dd is in her bed having her down time before she goes to sleep. I sleep from 9pm to 1:30pm get up get ready for work and do it all over again. Saturdays is all day family day and sunday is me and dh day alone. So in a nutshell I have it all. I work, homeschool, cook, clean, have individual time with dd and dh, and on mondays and fridays I have my time while dd goes to her play groups. What more is there for me to have.



  • Sisteract
    December 14, 2012 at 12:31 PM
    Yes- with great organization and a 100% helpful, supportive and mature partner!
  • Wish2Be
    by Wish2Be
    December 15, 2012 at 12:34 AM
    This woman can :).....one day I will have it all ...I just know it :)
  • pampire
    by pampire
    December 15, 2012 at 1:24 AM
    Yes, but not necessarily all at once.
  • trinimom72
    December 15, 2012 at 3:02 PM
    I have a husband and 3 boys...need I go any further.
  • kellynh
    by kellynh
    December 15, 2012 at 3:56 PM

    Agree  with this

    Quoting loisl25:

     It's an issue of balance. They are right that you can't give 100% to everything all the time. You are only one person and there are only so many hours in a day. I know it's not popular to say this because of our feminist society, (which I'm all for), but the honest truth is something's got to give. If you have a full time job and kids, then the babysitter or day care is going to have to pick up some of the slack for you assuming  your kids are young enough to need an adult around. Also, when you get home you'll probably be tired and not have as much to give to your husband and kids.

      Like I said, balance. if a woman wants to work and be a mom, she has to decide how much of each she's willing to sacrifice, because your work WILL suffer some. You're going to have to call in sick when your child is sick, you're going to have to ask for the day off when one of your kids has a dance recital, etc... and the ugly truth is, employers know this when they are interviewing prospective employees. Then, your interactions and time with your kids are also going to suffer. There will be times when probably your kids want you to play with them, but you are too tired from work, or dh wants sex, and you are too tired, (though that happens to sahm's too!), or the house gets messer cuz you don't have as much time to clean it, or you get takeout for dinner instead of cooking something healthy and delicious, or you have to miss something your kids don't want you to miss, because they need you at work. As a working mom, you have to decide how much you are willing to sacrifice from each, and which is more important to you. Yes, the husband can take on some of those sacrifices too, so you don't have to give up as much, he can sometimes be the one to rush home from work to pick up the sick kid or whatever, but likely that may negatively impact HIS career path, too.

     The reason men in the past were so able to go full force after their career even though they had a family is because their wife was taking care of the kids and home, and so employers didn't hold it against an applicant if they had kids, nor did it make them less likely to get promoted. Things are changing now. Don't get me wrong, I think it's a great thing that now we women have a choice as to if we want to work or not and can be just as career oriented as men if we want to be, and our men ARE more likely to be willing to pick up some of the slack, but I don't think it makes sense to deny that there ARE sacrifices that have to be made when both parents work. Also, I want to point out that there was a period of two years in my first marriage where I worked an xh stayed home with the kids, so it doesn't ALWAYS have to be the mom who stays home, if someone is going to stay home.


  • Jenice.x
    December 16, 2012 at 5:33 PM
    Having it all is different for everyone. I think if your happy with where you are in life then you do have it all.
  • tasches
    by tasches
    December 17, 2012 at 6:21 PM

    A resounding NO!  If you think you can, you are kidding yourself.   This, from the perspective of a 50+ year old who has been in the work force and raised two children.  You cannot have it all - something will give, either you, your children or your marriage.  

    If I had the chance to do it all over again, I would have not worked outside the home or worked part time because in the end, working full time did absolutely nothing but take away time I could have had with my children.  

  • Crissy2424
    May 3, 2013 at 9:03 PM
    I don't think either sex should have it all. I think just living life and accepting what you have is having it all. Health, love, God and family is having it all to me :)