Hey guys, I need some advice. I have a S/O we have been dating for 9 month now and he has slowly been transitioning and moving in over the last month, he has been in our family for almost 8 years now so he isn't a stranger to the kids at all (for clarification). All three of my kids really like him and for the most part they really get a long quite well. However, him and my youngest clash on a regular basis. She is 4 and very much like momma when it comes to wanting things her way and not liking change and so is he. I have talked to him about needing to find a balance with her and he has been very good about trying, but they still clash pretty bad. He doesn't yell or hit her (i'd kill his ass in a split second) but he is very firm as far as keeping her to the same rules as the other two. Now, I dont know if I am just being very protective of her because she is the baby or if I am justified in my thoughts. But she cries all the time. For example this eveing, she did not want to go to bed. I put her down and did the usual "I have to go potty, I need a drink of water, I need my special baby...." but then she wouldnt leave her sister alone (they share a room) and her sister came out and told him that she wasn't going to sleep. He told Hannah (my older daughter) to ask Bella (the youngest) to stop very nicely and to go to sleep. She did that, however not 10 minutes later Hannah was back out asking S/O to come and make her stop. He went in there and she was sitting on her bed whispering to Hannah and not letting her go to sleep, being a normal annoying little sister. He asked her to lay down and she immediately started to cry. She has been doing this for the last week so he picked her up (calmly) and made her come and stand in the corner where I could see her until she calmed down enough. He talked to her after about 5 minutes and she was abe to converse. He calmly explained why she got put on the wall and gave her a hug and said he didn't like putting her on the wall but she needs to learn to listen and walked her back to her room and put her to bed. This is there usual interaction over everything, breakfast, snacks, lunch dinner, bedtime...just about anything that comes out of his mouth she gets overly emotional and ends up in tears.
Am I being overly protective of her? If so, advice on how to make it easier on me when he steps in? or Is he just being harsh and do I need to have a talk with him?
The interactions with the other two are absolutely normal. No fighting crying or argueing like ever, Hannah is 7 and Gabriel is 11.
any advice is helpful and welcome. Thank you.