Strong Women. Strong Girls
I have a 12 year old daughter that is driving me crazy. You ask her to do anything she does not do it. She is going behind my back and asking her cousin to do things I say no to. She is crying at the drop of a pin and there isn't enough to say about the attitude. I know the moms out there that has gone through this is laughing at me right now and I know the hormonal part is kicking in with her. She has not started her period yet and it can not come soon enough. I have even went as far as buying a bottle of Midol and told her to take one a day just to see if it helps with anything. I have grounded her for the lies and going behind my back. Nothing seems to sink into her thick skull. I am hoping this is a phase that I pray is going to hurry up and pass but I don't know. I have sat back and cried because I don't know what to do. I refuse to have a kid that is one that talks to their mom any old way and is doing as she pleases. She is not allowed to run the streets or anything like that. She has played softball and basketball and I try to make sure both kids stay busy in something hoping it will keep them busy with something and not getting into trouble. My son is 17 and I didn't have problems like this with him. I do not know what else to try. I am at my wit end. I guess I know down deep inside this is just hormones and I am venting but any suggestions on to how to deal with this would greatly be appreciated.
Replies
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Awww, I'm sorry! I don't know what to do either....my daughter is only 9, so we haven't been through all that yet.
Just keep fighting, it does get better. She's at that really rough age where she doesn't know how to handle her emotions and she's lashing out at you. Maybe talk to her about thinking about what she is going to say before she says it and to think about what her consequences will be. Make sure you have consequences and follow through. Let her cry, but tell her to go to her room to do it. The lying gets punishment, hit her where it hurts. The worst thing I can do to my kids is take away their computer privileges. Figure out whatever would hurt her the most and ground her from it.
Good luck!
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My daughter is almost 10 and I already am dealing with the attitude, roll of the eyes, saying things over and over again. She absolutely hates getting things taken away from her.
I would just keep the communication lines open with her. Let her know that if something is bothering her, that she can confide in you. Maybe see if there are some books she can read...something inspirational.
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I have even "tried" to get her to tell me a solution to the problem which we would not go for. lol I have taken her phone away, xbox and computer. Nobody can come over to stay the night or anything. Tonight she is going to clean the kitchen and clean out the refrigerator. lol Tomorrow is to clean all bathrooms and toilets/tubs. Each day of her grounding she will be doing something.
Quoting slw123:
Awww, I'm sorry! I don't know what to do either....my daughter is only 9, so we haven't been through all that yet.
Just keep fighting, it does get better. She's at that really rough age where she doesn't know how to handle her emotions and she's lashing out at you. Maybe talk to her about thinking about what she is going to say before she says it and to think about what her consequences will be. Make sure you have consequences and follow through. Let her cry, but tell her to go to her room to do it. The lying gets punishment, hit her where it hurts. The worst thing I can do to my kids is take away their computer privileges. Figure out whatever would hurt her the most and ground her from it.
Good luck!
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I have tried to remember how I was at that age and Lord knows I understand the emotions and all. I have tried talking to her asking her what the problem is and all I get is a shrug of the shoulders or I don't know. I keep telling her she can talk to me about anything but she won't. This is so hard for me because my son tells me "everything" well most but even teachers have been shocked at what he tells me. Him and I have had a great relationship when it comes to communication. With her it is all the opposite. I have bought many different books and my mother has also. She will start to read them and then not finish. I often sit back and wonder how my mother has any hair on her head because of what I put her through. I have told my mom I was sorry for everything I put her through. It has came back to haunt me now.
Quoting Rushn311:
My daughter is almost 10 and I already am dealing with the attitude, roll of the eyes, saying things over and over again. She absolutely hates getting things taken away from her.
I would just keep the communication lines open with her. Let her know that if something is bothering her, that she can confide in you. Maybe see if there are some books she can read...something inspirational.
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It sounds like you are doing all the right things, you may just need to buckle up for the ride and breathe a sigh of relief when its finally over ={ I remember how tough everything seemed when I was that age, it's the worst age to be.
Quoting iamfreeatlast:
I have even "tried" to get her to tell me a solution to the problem which we would not go for. lol I have taken her phone away, xbox and computer. Nobody can come over to stay the night or anything. Tonight she is going to clean the kitchen and clean out the refrigerator. lol Tomorrow is to clean all bathrooms and toilets/tubs. Each day of her grounding she will be doing something.
Quoting slw123:
Awww, I'm sorry! I don't know what to do either....my daughter is only 9, so we haven't been through all that yet.
Just keep fighting, it does get better. She's at that really rough age where she doesn't know how to handle her emotions and she's lashing out at you. Maybe talk to her about thinking about what she is going to say before she says it and to think about what her consequences will be. Make sure you have consequences and follow through. Let her cry, but tell her to go to her room to do it. The lying gets punishment, hit her where it hurts. The worst thing I can do to my kids is take away their computer privileges. Figure out whatever would hurt her the most and ground her from it.
Good luck!
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My sister is having the same problems with her 9 year old....
Has your 12 year old started AF yet? It might just be the rush of hormones to her system before she gets her AF....along with being a Teen.... ? Wish I could help.
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Nope she has not started yet. I keep thinking she is but then it never happens. I just wish something would happen so maybe it will help some. I know her hormones are going in all directions but it is causing my emotions to go in all directions. lol
Quoting Wish2Be:
My sister is having the same problems with her 9 year old....
Has your 12 year old started AF yet? It might just be the rush of hormones to her system before she gets her AF....along with being a Teen.... ? Wish I could help.
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Well I have pre teen boys so I get the tude but I dont have the crying and stuff. My DD is still a baby, not looking forward to this stage. I really hope these ladies give you some tools and tips on how to deal with this.
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Maybe she could talk to the school counselor?
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Let the fun begin. I think we have all gone through it and those of us with daughters will all go through it again. Just don't take anything personal and try to hang in there and be strong. This is the best place to vent. Talking about it always helps. I hope things get better ~hugs~