My SIL (my husband's sister) is living with us atm. She has a 3 month old son with her husband, but they recently broke up. I'm torn on what I should do.
My SIL is not in any position to have a child. She's almost 21, but never became an adult. As much as I'm trying, she doesn't seem to want to mature. She has no drivers license, no job, no high school diploma--nothing...and no desire to fix the situation. Her husband let's her use their second vehicle knowing that she has no DL. I don't feel that she's a capable parent AT ALL. She's doing things that I majorly disagree with, like watering down his formula, not bathing him for days on end, using blankets he has thrown up on while they're still dirty, etc.
Meanwhile, the baby's dad is a literal moron who still lives with his own psychotic mother. On the bright side, he doesn't have the anger issues my SIL has, and he has a job, a car, and his diploma. That said, he's seriously one of the stupidest people I've ever met...and his mom is bipolar.
About a week ago, SIL brought a new man around. Since then, everything has gotten out of control. There's threats to do property damage, threats to call employers, threats to flee with the baby...all from SIL, of course...her idiot husband still just wants his family back.
I'm really starting to feel like the baby isn't safe and don't know what to do. She thinks were close, so I'm safe for now, but her crazy scares me.
So what is the plan? Have you let her know she needs to make changes and only has X amount of time before she needs to move out? Have you set rules about who she has over? I wouldn't be letting her bring random men into my home if I were in your position.
Set some boundries. Set a certain amount of time, some goals and deadlines so she can learn to do for herself, instead of others doing for her. Explain to her what she needs to get done and no excuses will be tolerated.