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If you told your family
by Anonymous
December 11, 2017 at 1:42 PM
That you couldnt attend Christmas Dinner unless 12 or less which would include your parents, siblings, their older kids.
But would leave out cousins, cousins kids (little), extra people sometimes invited.
And they ignored you and invited 25 people

Would you expect them to be mad when you said you wouldnt be attending?

My 7 year old DD currently has an immune deficiency from a serious illness. we are working on and her Drs strongly suggested we limit gatherings to 10 people. Our family is 12 so I’m going against Drs orders by a bit.
DD isn’t attending school until the end of January until this gets settled out.

I told my mom we couldn’t come if it was a crowd. I just found out 25 are coming so I told her no.
She is furious with me. She can’t offend the other family members by not inviting them!
But isn’t getting that means we won’t be coming.

Not sure why she is mad. She knew the limitations.


  • caustinb
    December 11, 2017 at 1:44 PM
    I wouldn't try to dictate the rules at someone else's home. If I can't go, I would just say that.
  • Anonymous 2
    by Anonymous 2
    December 11, 2017 at 1:44 PM
    I wouldn't be going anyway. Plan a small get together a couple weeks later.
  • Anonymous 3
    by Anonymous 3
    December 11, 2017 at 1:45 PM
    She will just have to be mad. It sucks all around. But it is what it is. She wants all family their your dd is sick. Guess it would be better just to stay home. Although if my dd was sick I would not go any way. I would do every posible thing to keep her safe.
  • Anonymous 4
    by Anonymous 4
    December 11, 2017 at 1:45 PM
    I don’t think they’d change the whole thing for me and I would never even ask. We’d do our own thing. I wouldn’t risk it. I don’t think numbers matter in this situation. One of the ten could still have something. SIL’s kids are ALWAYS sick. I’ve literally never seen them 100% healthy.

    Maybe you can have Christmas over there earlier in the day then leave before the crowd arrives.
  • Anonymous 5
    by Anonymous 5
    December 11, 2017 at 1:45 PM

    I wouldn't take my child anywhere at all and expose them to even one other person outside of our household. As a grandparent I would expect that my children would do the same and I'd understand.

  • Anonymous 6
    by Anonymous 6
    December 11, 2017 at 1:57 PM

    I'd just stay home. It's cold season. There is almost no shot even in a group of ten people that somebody won't have a bug of some sort. 

  • Anonymous 7
    by Anonymous 7
    December 11, 2017 at 2:00 PM
    It's her house, you cannot dictate the guest list. You can just not go and let her be mad.
  • Southern_Song
    December 11, 2017 at 2:01 PM
    This. . nobody deserves to be left out even if your child has an illness.

    Quoting caustinb: I wouldn't try to dictate the rules at someone else's home. If I can't go, I would just say that.
  • spunky946
    December 11, 2017 at 2:02 PM
    You can’t tell someone else who to invite and who to not invite. I just wouldn’t go.
  • left.drowning
    December 11, 2017 at 2:03 PM
    I just wouldn't go.

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