Who was right? (I know - we've had like 20 of these)
November 25, 2017 at 1:54 AM
DD15 was very recently diagnosed with Aspergers (so, technically autism; but the diagnosing doctor made it clear that if Aspergers still existed -it'd be definetely Aspergers more than classic autism). DD is struggling with this diagnosis, the bullying that has occured more SINCE the diagnosis; and has been 'melting down' frequently. The best thing to do during this time is to leave her alone. She will leave her room when she is done and it's best to pretend it didn't happen.
My cousin (male, in his mid 30's) is undiagnosed - but his mother has confided in me that she's had many professionals tell her that her son is autistic and she refused to get him evaluated or even TELL him about these conversations. He is convinced he is 100% neurotypical; his wife has even questioned whether she should have children with him based on his personality and behaviour. On a completely 'unrelated' topic - my cousin has taken an interest into 'researching' autism since DD was diagnosed.
So, now that the back story is out of the way - my cousin and his wife came over for dinner. DD had a meltdown. I have NO idea what the meltdown was over because I was changing my 4yo who had had an accident. I just heard DD scream "Ugh! No, I can't. I can't" and run to her room. I explained to my cousin that we leave her during this - (she's in counselling; she recieves consequences if she hurts someone during this, or is otherwise really inappropriate). I heard DD's music start and continued cooking. 5 minutes later my cousin stated he was going to the bathroom and would be back 'soon'. Less than 2 minutes later, DD was screaming. Like, screaming as if she was being killed. I sprint into DD's room and my cousin is holding his crotch. He screams at me that my "freak" had kicked him in the balls for 'no reason'. DD cried that he barged into her room -without knocking - and tackled her "with his arms and legs around my body and wouldn't let go - he was squeezing me really tight". Cousin said "It's a bear hug. It helps people like you calm down".
Cousin was asked to leave immediately but now his mother is blasting me on facebook as he's "had to go to the hospital" even tagging him at the hospital in the post. She claims if DD was 'really' autistic, that his method would have worked. I don't know whose right.
You seriously don't know who is right in this situation, and who was wrong?
by Anonymous 3
November 25, 2017 at 2:07 AM
Wait, who do you think would be right? The cousin? No, you don’t grab someone who is having a meltdown. The aunt? For saying it should have worked so she really isn’t autistic? Where’d she get her medical degree?
by Anonymous 4
November 25, 2017 at 2:08 AM
They are wrong on so many levels. I completely understand why your DD kicked him.
by Anonymous 5
November 25, 2017 at 2:08 AM
He would have left in an ambulance if he had done that to my child AND he would be going to jail for assault.
by Anonymous 6
November 25, 2017 at 2:10 AM
He is no therapist
. He had no business trying out a therapy, If he were qualified he would never have done so without permission. He barged into her room which sould like trying for another major meltdown Obviously no matter what he was totally out of line and she was withing her rights to defend herself from what appeared to be an attack
I am curious if the meltdowns have just recently emerged? Or why it took so long to have her diagnosed
Why would she be bullied at school more now just because you have a diagnoses? I a a tad bit confused but it is late
by Anonymous 7
November 25, 2017 at 2:19 AM
You bear hug my Aspie and your getting HURT, he HATES being touched when he's amped up toward an outburst. He has compression clothes and a weighted blanket to use when he needs them.
by Anonymous 8
November 25, 2017 at 2:24 AM
Creepy.. he would be able to set foot in my house again.
by Anonymous 9
November 25, 2017 at 2:25 AM
by Anonymous 10
November 25, 2017 at 2:29 AM
My youngest has classic autism. When he's melting down you stay the fuck away and, only if absolutely necessary, do you talk him down from out of range...you could get seriously hurt or covered in spit.
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
November 25, 2017 at 2:30 AM
No. I know who is right; but my cousin didn't know what he was doing any more than DD really did. He thought he was helping and she thought she was defending herself from a predator.
Quoting Anonymous 2: You seriously don't know who is right in this situation, and who was wrong?