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Anonymous
It annoys me
by Anonymous
March 6, 2016 at 1:54 PM
When someone says they miss someone and wishes they could be with them more, but is entirely in control of that and does nothing to change it. It annoys me when some one is very clearly online but fails to respond in a timely manner or at all. And it very highly annoys me when someone continues to mope about their ex.

As an adult, you are the only person who can change your situation and make yourself happy. You need to be honest and do what makes you happy and not worry about hurting anyone else's feelings.

And no, you can't have your cake and eat it too. I am not a back up plan, I am not going to sit on the sidelines. You either want to be with me or not, but be clear. Because if you tell me all you want is me, yet you make no attempt to move the relationship forward or detach from an ex, I'm going to assume you are a liar and I am going to go on and continue living my life as if you are not part of it.

Is this harsh? I told my boyfriend this. We have been seriously dating for about 18 months now. He was already separated for two years before we met. His divorce is still not final. I know they are going to court in June. They have no kids or mutual property.

His ex finally came and got all of her things out of his house this weekend. He has been very mopey and whiney about it. He also has been tagging her in stupid meaningless posts on facebook and has been pretty quiet with me.

If he is regretting things now, then he needs to be honest and tell me. Don't worry about my feelings. Just grow up and say what you want. I'm not playing games.

I guess I just don't understand why you would continue with a divorce if you aren't sure. I know for a fact that if he was willing, she would have worked this gs out. I know this because 6 months ago she contacted me and said she wanted to work things out with him. I told him what she said and that I felt it was for the best if they both wanted that and that I would step away. I don't want to be a home wrecker. It wasn't like this when we first got together. It's just been recently, like as it gets closer to being finalized, they're both unsure or something.

I do love him very much and I would love to have a life and future with him. But I'm not going to sit by and feel like I'm second best. I'm not going to play games, and I'm not their marriage counselor.

Replies

  • Anonymous 2
    by Anonymous 2
    March 6, 2016 at 1:56 PM

    Sounds like you're overly demanding, overly controlling and he'd be better off without you.

  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    March 6, 2016 at 1:57 PM
    How so? If that's true, then I'd like to change that.

    Quoting Anonymous 2:

    Sounds like you're overly demanding, overly controlling and he'd be better off without you.

  • Anonymous 3
    by Anonymous 3
    March 6, 2016 at 1:58 PM

    You sound very young, or at the very least very immature.

    A final end to a marriage is like a death. You need to work on being a bit more compassionate and so self-absorbed.

  • Anonymous 2
    by Anonymous 2
    March 6, 2016 at 1:58 PM

    " It annoys me when some one is very clearly online but fails to respond in a timely manner or at all. "

    Quoting Anonymous 1: How so? If that's true, then I'd like to change that.
    Quoting Anonymous 2:

    Sounds like you're overly demanding, overly controlling and he'd be better off without you.


  • theboyfactory
    March 6, 2016 at 1:59 PM
    I really hate how our society expects an immediate response because we have constant ties to technology. I don't think it is reasonable to expect people to automatically respond "because they are online."
  • cheekacheeka
    March 6, 2016 at 1:59 PM
    I'd step back anyway, he clearly doesn't know what he wants. I can't stand wishy washy people.
  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    March 6, 2016 at 2:00 PM
    That's funny because I went through one hell of a divorce myself and didn't act like this.

    Quoting Anonymous 3:

    You sound very young, or at the very least very immature.

    A final end to a marriage is like a death. You need to work on being a bit more compassionate and so self-absorbed.

  • Maks1mommy
    March 6, 2016 at 2:02 PM
    This.

    Quoting cheekacheeka: I'd step back anyway, he clearly doesn't know what he wants. I can't stand wishy washy people.
  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    March 6, 2016 at 2:03 PM
    Yes I do find it annoying especially because if it was reversed, he would be very suspicious about why I wasn't responding. You can't be bothered to text the person you claim is your one and only, yet you have all kinds of time to engage in unnecessary communications with your ex online for all to see? If you were to look at his profile, it would seem as if they were still together.

    Quoting Anonymous 2:

    " It annoys me when some one is very clearly online but fails to respond in a timely manner or at all. "

    Quoting Anonymous 1: How so? If that's true, then I'd like to change that.

    Quoting Anonymous 2:

    Sounds like you're overly demanding, overly controlling and he'd be better off without you.

  • Anonymous 4
    by Anonymous 4
    March 6, 2016 at 2:04 PM
    Not everyone reacts like you...really with this?

    Quoting Anonymous 1: That's funny because I went through one hell of a divorce myself and didn't act like this.

    Quoting Anonymous 3:

    You sound very young, or at the very least very immature.

    A final end to a marriage is like a death. You need to work on being a bit more compassionate and so self-absorbed.

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