My dd and nieces birthday are in the same week, and since they're close and go to the same school and have some of the same friends, we decided to have a combined birthday party this year. When talking with my SIL that dh and I were thinking about getting dd an iphone (She will be 13, we have told her she cannot have a smartphone until highschool, she currently has a little slide phone. This would be a complete suprise.) or a macbook pro (She needs a laptop for school anyway). She demanded to know why and I explained to her that dd has earned something nice like this with her grades, working hard during sports, babysitting the neighbors kids, and overall just being a good kid. Then she said "Well you can't give her that, because that wouldn't be fair to my dd." Um I'll give my daughter whatever I please, thank you. If I want her to have one and I can afford it, shut the hell up. She also said "My dd works harder than yours and is better at school, so if anything she deserves one." Like one, not true. two, that's fine, you buy her one. Smh
Edit: My niece is recieving a Coach purse filled with makeup from Too Faced, Mac, Benefit, Urban Decay, ect. As well as several gift cards. It all evens out. She's against my daughter recieving the laptop or phone in general because her daughter doesn't have an iphone or macbook. She's very competitve with the girls, always wanting them to be the same. Hell, one time my dd was offered a spot on the compition team at the studio they dance at together and sil asked me to not let her do it because her dd didn't get one and it wouldn't be fair. So, it's not just a timing issue, she just doesn't want her to have one at all.
Do you have to give her those gifts at the party? Why not just wait until its your family, either before or after all the other guests arrive? Are you trying to showboat or brag, cause honestly thats what it sounds like. Buy and give her a nice gift at the party and present the luxury item, well deserved, at another time.
I'd give it to her privately to be honest. Combined parties are not my cup of tea because I see how the other kid might feel bad to see someone getting an expensive gift in front of their mutual friends. Prime example, my sister doesn't have much and when we did a combined party I'd spent 3 times more than she could for my niece so I gave her her gifts from us at home and left the gifts at the party to be given by guests. On the other hand, opening gifts "during" the party is becoming passe anyway.
Eh I don't agree. Same school, same friends, family, close in age ... she's going to find out anyways. Idk, I just don't think kids should be taught to measure gifts etc. She gets what she gets and for good reason too.
Quoting Anonymous: Just don't give it to her at the party then?