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olliesmommy2
Should SAHM have a say in...EDIT
July 8 at 11:25 AM
Having more kids?

Say the couple has one child. How much say does the sahm have over having another. Seeing as she isn't financially contributing.

Just a discussion a couple friends and I were having yesterday. I'm sure someone will find a way to start shit, but I'm interested what you all think.

This came up because a girlfriend of mine is a sahm who wants another child. Her husband says he doesn't. Doesn't want the financial burden despite being able to afford it. So hence, she doesn't contribute, she doesn't get a say.

Replies

  • jabs54
    by jabs54
    July 8 at 9:37 PM

    "she doesn't contribute..."   Are you kidding?!?!?!?!?!?!  She's raising the kid!!!!!!!!!!

  • Anonymous 58
    by Anonymous 58
    July 8 at 9:37 PM
    My husband wants another but I am done!
    I am a sahm, and don't want to be anymore. He likes me at home but I am sick of the "control" and the kids are in school. It does mean more work for him if I get back out there, But he does respect my choice, even if he would like it otherwise.
  • jen2150
    by jen2150
    July 8 at 9:46 PM
    The day I don't have a say in my marriage I will be finding a new partner. All decisions in a marriage should be equal. My husband would never treat me that way. My husband does not have any more say in finances than I do. It is our money 100% equal.
  • Anonymous 56
    by Anonymous 56
    July 8 at 9:48 PM
    Partnership or not, kids cost...

    You said a mouthful, but has nothing to do with the above statement. If I were a sahm, guaranteed if we were thinking of adding to our 4 kids, finance would play a big part in the conversation. I'm working and it still does.

    Quoting ZombieMeat37:

    Marriage is a partnership...A business, if you will. If one person is able to bring in the money and the other is able to create an atmosphere that allows said person to bring in the money, who are you to say that monetary contributions are superior to physical/emotional contributions? Both spouses have taken on a role that is required to make a marriage and family run smoothly, so why should one be put on a pedestal and the other get shit on?

    I certainly wouldn't be in a relationship with someone who thought so low of me, as the mother of his child. I work just as hard as my husband and he doesn't have to want for anything. I take care of him and our child. His job is to keep us financially secure and my job is to take care of everything else......Happy marriage, Happy kid, Happy family.

    P  A  R  T  N  E  R  S  H  I  P

    Quoting Anonymous: But you ain't paying for that child. Partnership or not, kids cost.

    Quoting Anonymous:

    My job or lack thereof doesn't define me, my husband and I are equals in every sense of the word. We're a family unit, a team, and we work together as such. If I wanted more children I would bring the topic up to him and we'd discuss it.

  • Ms_mom_81
    July 8 at 9:48 PM

    I think having another baby is something both should want. It isn't something to be negociated.

  • Anonymous 56
    by Anonymous 56
    July 8 at 9:51 PM
    Raising kids he's busting his butt every day to support. Yes she can have a say, but his word should be final. Head of the household. In my house is how it goes. And I'm a working mom...

    Quoting jabs54:

    "she doesn't contribute..."   Are you kidding?!?!?!?!?!?!  She's raising the kid!!!!!!!!!!

  • Mystres
    by Mystres
    July 8 at 9:56 PM

    His Sperm, His Choice.  Just like Her body, her choice

  • 5shadesofluv
    July 8 at 10:00 PM

    As a stay at home mother of 5 this saddens me that people think like this smh I am very thankful for the MAN/HUSBAND I have because although my contributions may not be financial, he recognizes and appreciates everything I do and has never made me feel like I had no say in whether or not I wanted more kids hence the reason we have 5 lol

  • Anonymous 59
    by Anonymous 59
    July 8 at 10:05 PM
    Why shouldn't stay at home moms have an opinion? They are the ones raising the kids, doing the cooking, cleaning, day care ect

    I personally am a stay at home mom, also a collage student finishing up my degree

    Both should have a say but it's not the mans decision to say yes or no and that be it
  • mommy2boys03
    July 8 at 10:06 PM

    I think that it should be a decision for both people and if either isn't ready they should really wait.

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