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Anonymous
Maybe money can burn a whole in your pocket!
by Anonymous
May 5 at 8:05 AM
Dh and I are trying real hard to get back on track. We got off track last month when our health insurance company sent us an $1100 bill because they said apparently we forgot to make our yearly double payment at the beginning of the year. The threatened to cancel our insurance if we didn't pay. We also got hit with an unexpected car repair expense. I got a nail in my tire. I took it to sear automotive to get it repaired. Last time I was in 8 months ago I bought a road hazard protection plan. Should have covered the cost. Apparently not! My plan got voided when I didn't come in for my 6 month tire rotation and aligment. To fix the tire I had to have a new tire put on, tires rotated and an aligment done. Cost over $300 to fix.

Doesn't sound like a lot of money. When your on a budget and you have all your money already figured out for bills it's a big deal.

Dh and I are saving every penny and working to rebuild our savings. Were working real hard to get a house next summer so paying bills on time and having money for a down payment and all that other stuff is important. Every unexpected hit is a big deal.

This weekend my parents hosted a family yard sale. Dh and I made $154 off the yard sale. My mom asked what I had planned with the money and I said, "putting it in savings." She said, "not going to spend it ha?" I told her no. She took her money $232 and went straight to walmart. She said she was taking my niece home but came back with walmart bags. Spent $70 of her $232. No wonder my parents are struggling to pay their bills.

Replies

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous - Original Poster
    May 5 at 8:37 AM
    We don't barely get by. We are saving for a house. To us that is a big deal and not something I want to take lightly. We don't want to have just enough to move in. We want to have a couple months bill money away as well. We put enough money in our checking account to cover the cost of our bills with enough for gas and some small extras like household supplies and what not. Having to take $1100 out of our savings isn't something qe wanted to do.

    Quoting Anonymous:

    If you feel like you barely get by just to save money for a down payment on a house, what will you do as a homeowner when large repairs are needed?

  • Mazie0723
    May 5 at 9:30 AM
    You can only help so much. Do they get disability? Maybe buy them a budget program.

    Quoting Anonymous: My dad is handicap and my mom is very ill. I am trying to keep them in their home because it's all they have left.

    Quoting Mazie0723: Stop doing it then.

    Quoting Anonymous: It is my business when she comea to me and say's she needs to borrow money for her health insurance or her electric bill. I am the one footing the bill to keep them from loosing their house. I cut the grass, I up keep the pool and my dh makes all repairs to their house. All for free!

    Quoting Anonymous: That's her business just like you savings yours is your business
  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous - Original Poster
    May 5 at 9:43 AM
    My dad owns an electronic repair shop. He makes about $1200 a month after expenses. They get $1000 a month in ssi for my 15 year old Aunt who lives with them. Their health insurance alone is $1680 a month because of their pre existing conditions.

    My parents cannot collect ssi or ssdi because I just found out my parents have not paid taxes in 10 years. They've paid business taxes but not personal taxes. They are stuck trying to pay for everything out of pocket.

    Quoting Mazie0723: You can only help so much. Do they get disability? Maybe buy them a budget program.

    Quoting Anonymous: My dad is handicap and my mom is very ill. I am trying to keep them in their home because it's all they have left.

    Quoting Mazie0723: Stop doing it then.

    Quoting Anonymous: It is my business when she comea to me and say's she needs to borrow money for her health insurance or her electric bill. I am the one footing the bill to keep them from loosing their house. I cut the grass, I up keep the pool and my dh makes all repairs to their house. All for free!

    Quoting Anonymous: That's her business just like you savings yours is your business
  • Mazie0723
    May 5 at 9:46 AM
    And you bailing them out constantly does them no good. Some times you need to let people fall on their asses for them to realize they need to get their shit together.

    Dont bitch about their finances when you're enabling them.


    Quoting Anonymous: My dad owns an electronic repair shop. He makes about $1200 a month after expenses. They get $1000 a month in ssi for my 15 year old Aunt who lives with them. Their health insurance alone is $1680 a month because of their pre existing conditions.

    My parents cannot collect ssi or ssdi because I just found out my parents have not paid taxes in 10 years. They've paid business taxes but not personal taxes. They are stuck trying to pay for everything out of pocket.

    Quoting Mazie0723: You can only help so much. Do they get disability? Maybe buy them a budget program.

    Quoting Anonymous: My dad is handicap and my mom is very ill. I am trying to keep them in their home because it's all they have left.

    Quoting Mazie0723: Stop doing it then.

    Quoting Anonymous: It is my business when she comea to me and say's she needs to borrow money for her health insurance or her electric bill. I am the one footing the bill to keep them from loosing their house. I cut the grass, I up keep the pool and my dh makes all repairs to their house. All for free!

    Quoting Anonymous: That's her business just like you savings yours is your business
  • auntietotty
    May 5 at 9:53 AM

     

    Quoting Nicoleb9: I'm always surprised at how cavalier some parents are about borrowing money from their children. Even more irritating is when they'll constantly borrow money from their children right after blowing their own. I'd be too mortified to even ask my children for money in the first place.

     I agree. And I read about that quite a bit on here. I assume the OPs parents are middle aged..or older. Most people that age are finally settled and can manage their own finances/bills, etc. and dont need help.  My husband and I are 49 and almost 53 and there is no way we would ask our adult kids for money. For one thing, its THEIR money and another thing, it isnt up to them to pay our bills when they have their own bills to pay.

    I understand the OP's parents are disabled/ill...but if the mom can go out shopping at Walmart,(and can obviously drive) she must not be too ill to work and I wonder if the dad gets disability or SS? 

     

  • MrsDavidB25
    May 5 at 9:55 AM

     With all you described you cannot afford to be helping them out with money. Just Another financial mistake you are making.

    Quoting Anonymous: It is my business when she comea to me and say's she needs to borrow money for her health insurance or her electric bill. I am the one footing the bill to keep them from loosing their house. I cut the grass, I up keep the pool and my dh makes all repairs to their house. All for free!
    Quoting Anonymous: That's her business just like you savings yours is your business

     

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous - Original Poster
    May 5 at 9:57 AM
    I never knew helping aging ill parents was enabling. I thought that as their children that's what you do. Have my parents made mistakes, yes. Are they paying for them, you bet. I get mad at them for things they do like spend money like it grows on trees. Would I let them get kicked out of their home, no way. This post wasn't about me bitching about having to foot my parent s lifestyle. It was a vent about my parents spending money like it grows on trees and about my mother trying to twll me how to manage my money when she can't manage her own.

    Quoting Mazie0723: And you bailing them out constantly does them no good. Some times you need to let people fall on their asses for them to realize they need to get their shit together.

    Dont bitch about their finances when you're enabling them.


    Quoting Anonymous: My dad owns an electronic repair shop. He makes about $1200 a month after expenses. They get $1000 a month in ssi for my 15 year old Aunt who lives with them. Their health insurance alone is $1680 a month because of their pre existing conditions.

    My parents cannot collect ssi or ssdi because I just found out my parents have not paid taxes in 10 years. They've paid business taxes but not personal taxes. They are stuck trying to pay for everything out of pocket.

    Quoting Mazie0723: You can only help so much. Do they get disability? Maybe buy them a budget program.

    Quoting Anonymous: My dad is handicap and my mom is very ill. I am trying to keep them in their home because it's all they have left.

    Quoting Mazie0723: Stop doing it then.

    Quoting Anonymous: It is my business when she comea to me and say's she needs to borrow money for her health insurance or her electric bill. I am the one footing the bill to keep them from loosing their house. I cut the grass, I up keep the pool and my dh makes all repairs to their house. All for free!

    Quoting Anonymous: That's her business just like you savings yours is your business
  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    May 5 at 9:58 AM

    $1300 doesn't sound like a lot of money?!?!?! That's one whole paycheck here! I know what it's like.

  • Nicoleb9
    May 5 at 10:01 AM
    Isn't it a bit revealing, though? Middle-aged people who can't/won't properly manage their own money just happen to have children who will take away from THEIR own children to do for their parents who can't be bothered to do for themselves. They know just exactly how to guilt trip their own children into forking over money over and over, all without an ounce of shame as they toss their own money out of the window on ice cream and other frivolous crap.

    I've never seen so many people who are completely helpless physically, but skilled to the max at making sure they never have to help themselves out a little.

    Quoting auntietotty:

     


    Quoting Nicoleb9: I'm always surprised at how cavalier some parents are about borrowing money from their children. Even more irritating is when they'll constantly borrow money from their children right after blowing their own. I'd be too mortified to even ask my children for money in the first place.

     I agree. And I read about that quite a bit on here. I assume the OPs parents are middle aged..or older. Most people that age are finally settled and can manage their own finances/bills, etc. and dont need help.  My husband and I are 49 and almost 53 and there is no way we would ask our adult kids for money. For one thing, its THEIR money and another thing, it isnt up to them to pay our bills when they have their own bills to pay.


    I understand the OP's parents are disabled/ill...but if the mom can go out shopping at Walmart,(and can obviously drive) she must not be too ill to work and I wonder if the dad gets disability or SS? 


     

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