I want to make it crystal clear from the start, BM does NOT allow even one minute more than the court order allows. DH has his kids every other weekend from Friday 4pm to Sunday 4pm. Wednesday 4pm-8pm. Holidays are set in the court order with specific times. He gets two weeks in the summer, the same two weeks every single year. He can only take the out of state during his two weeks in the summer.
BM does not allow him to call and talk to them because it isn't in the court order and the judge said that was a "petty request on DH's part" so he didn't order the phone calls.
He pays his child support faithfully, never missed a payment and pays all other expenses according to the court order.
Now that this is clear that BM only allows in what is in the court order, I am SICK of being told I shouldn't do things with my kids when the stepkids aren't here. My sister in law works for a promotions company. She scores free tickets to things quite often. I can't control the dates that they fall on. They are usually only valid a certain weekend. She makes sure that I have enough to take the stepkids, every single time, but BM refuses to allow us to take them on *her* weekend, yet screams and rants and raves when we do anything without the stepkids. She has found out that we have been using the tickets and going without the stepkids.
We have asked each and every time we got tickets if she would allow us an extra weekend or to switch weekends and each time she has cussed DH out reminding him that he has a set weekend and to stop making plans for HER kids on HER weekend. I guess she thought if she was saying no, we weren't using the tickets at all.
Now that she has found out, she has called DH 10 times today (no exaggeration) to scream at him for not taking HER children. If the tickets are only valid on certain dates, they're only valid on certain dates and we CANNOT change that. So she is now demanding that every time MY sister in law (married to MY brother!) gives me tickets to something, we need to give her half (4) of them so she can take the stepkids if it falls on her weekend. NO. I get 8 tickets. We need 6 just for the people that live here. When the stepkids can't go, I let my older two kids take a friend each.
DH is now wondering if we should at least let her have the two tickets since they were given to us for them. I say no, my sister in law gives me tickets. They're mine to use as I see fit and they are NOT BM's to demand. And her giving me 8 tickets is NOT just because that is how many we need, she has always given me 6-10 tickets to take friends before I ever got married or had kids.
What do you all think? Oh, and I am going to add that most likely BM would NOT take the stepkids, especially when it is for things like Monster Trucks, MotoCross, races, etc. Those are "redneck" and beneath her (she makes fun of us on facebook when she knows we have taken the kids to those things) so those tickets would go to waste. She hates the waterpark (we get tickets there every month or two) so she probably wouldn't use those either. The only ones she would use are maybe concert tickets.
- Only group members can vote in this poll.
- 95% - us keep all of them and continue letting the kids take friends when the stepkids can't go
- 0% - give bm 4 of them, even though we need 6 when we don't have the stepkids
- 3% - only give bm 2 of them, covering the stepkids
by Anonymous 1 - Original PosterApril 26 at 5:46 PM
I am going to pick up pizza and beer. BM has stressed us out so I will answer any questions when I return!
What have you said to BM? she needs to be put in her damn place. I agree with you, those tickets are for you and your family..which includes the stepkids if she'd let them go.
That judge should have been slapped too. It's not petty to ask for phonecalls to the kids. Bejesus.
by Anonymous 2April 26 at 5:49 PM
WOW!! Yeah--this is so why I chose to marry someone who did not come with one ounce of 'baggage!' No ex-wife, and he has no clue where his ex-girlfriend is so yeah--absolutely zero drama in our life!! I really don't know what to say OP! Good luck working thru this big mess!