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Anonymous
does it make sense?
by Anonymous
December 9, 2013 at 11:44 PM

dh told me that he is upset that i dont buy him any presents since we married. the thing is I am a SAHM and spend hs money. For me it doesnt make sense to buy giftsfor his own money. I think now he can choose whatever he wants for his own money. What do you think?

Replies

  • Piskie
    by Piskie
    December 12, 2013 at 3:58 AM
    It's not about the money. Its about you taking the time to go, think of him, and buy him something that suits his personality.
  • Sassy762
    December 12, 2013 at 4:02 AM


    Quoting copperked: "It's the thought that counts." ---- It would probably just mean a lot to him to know you're thinking about him and making the same kind of effort to go out of your way to.do something special that he does.

  • want10more
    December 12, 2013 at 4:05 AM

    ah but remember, what he is REALLY telling you is that it's your money, too, to spend. i'm a sahm mom too. and yup i buy my honey gifts. the last gift i thot would cost 300, and i did it anyway. i told him i need this money for your gift and watched as his stomach fell outta his butt! heh. i just said stfu and gimme dammit! come to find out? it cost 55. SCORE!  was pics of all our kids, wearing shirts w/ his face (we love daddy) 650 pics for $55.00!

    what he's giving you, and you're not hearing, is that he thinks you are both in this together. he's not seeing it as HIS money, he's seeing it as YOUR money together. and in doing so, thinking that way, he's respecting you for working too! plz do go ahead, buy him something just grand for christmas! you don't have to spend a whole bunch, just something special for him. trust me, he. will. love. it!!!!!!!

  • TableforSeven
    December 12, 2013 at 4:11 AM

    If I want to get DH a gift....I get it.it isn't "his" money in our bank account, it is "our" money.

  • PeppermintyTea
    December 12, 2013 at 4:18 AM
    It's our money here so if I thought like you I'd get no gifts either, and I like gifts. Anyway it's really not about who spends what it's just for fun.
  • Anonymous 4
    by Anonymous 4
    December 12, 2013 at 4:46 AM

    How would you feel if he didn't buy you any presents because he felt you could just go out and buy whatever you wanted instead? 

  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    December 12, 2013 at 5:01 AM

    Oh i am happy with that

    Quoting Anonymous:

    How would you feel if he didn't buy you any presents because he felt you could just go out and buy whatever you wanted instead? 


  • huntersmama711
    December 12, 2013 at 5:12 AM
    I do swagbucks through the year to earn gift cards. I use those for gifts for dh. He has no problem with me using money he earns for gifts and sometimes I do for stocking stuffers or socks and boxers.
  • ineedcoffeemom
    December 12, 2013 at 5:41 AM

    I understand.  Last year was the first year my husband had a job and I didn't, so for the first time it was technically "his money." We promised to not get each other anything anyways, but then he turned around and still bought my stuff and I didn't get him anything and I felt like a jackass. :/   So this year I said damn the cost and got him a nice gift ..... it's something we as a family need anyways, so it was either him going to the store and buying it himself later when we finally can't go without it or me surprising him with it at Christmas.

  • susannah2000
    December 12, 2013 at 5:50 AM

    You have a strange way of looking at your finances. So you feel you don't contribute in any way to his financial situation, and have no right to spend "his" money? IMO, if you are married, you are partners, you both contribute, one way or another, in the home and finances. Therefore "his" money is "yours" as in both of yours, and you need to be giving him gifts. I wouldn't be as comfortable being as completely dependent on anyone else for financial support as you seem to be, especially as you see it as "his" money, not both of yours, but anyway.

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