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Anonymous
I feel like our marriage is falling apart
by Anonymous
November 17, 2013 at 3:43 AM

We have been married for 4 years and have 3 kids, and we just started hating each other, dh hurts me over every little thing calls me stupid, angry cow, i am irritated by everything he says and he does. We are just angry couple and i dont see it getting better. At times when he is nice to me i am angry and vice versa. I dont know what to do. At times i just want to run away and only kids hold me. Help

Replies

  • Anonymous 2
    by Anonymous 2
    November 17, 2013 at 3:44 AM
    Too many kids, too soon.
  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    November 17, 2013 at 3:45 AM

    BUMP!

  • MaiVal
    by MaiVal
    November 17, 2013 at 3:46 AM

    Have you sat down and had a talk? About what hurts you, what hurts him. What you want, what he wants? Try to verbalize as much as you can. Communication is key to a relationship succeeding!

  • MaiVal
    by MaiVal
    November 17, 2013 at 3:48 AM

    Kids do have an impact, but from what I've learned, they are only a part of what you have to work through, and they are the smallest part. You both should be in love with the kids, what you need is to work out your emotions and yourselves together.

    Quoting Anonymous:

    Too many kids, too soon.


  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    November 17, 2013 at 3:50 AM

    We do talk and it makes me upset even more, i start remembering that i was working before getting married, that i left my job, my family, my country and just married to be a sahm, i love my kids 


    Quoting MaiVal:

    Have you sat down and had a talk? About what hurts you, what hurts him. What you want, what he wants? Try to verbalize as much as you can. Communication is key to a relationship succeeding!



  • just1kasz
    November 17, 2013 at 3:51 AM

     How old are you both?  Any other problems?  Money?  Medical?  Anxiety?  Depression?  Drinking, drugging other addictions?

    How well did you know each other before marrying?  Was the first pregnancy planned or did it "force" the marriage?

    Either of you practice any religion?

    I recommend, rest (good night's sleep or naps), a few date nights,  a weekend getaway.

    Healthy meals

    Some kind of marital counseling or individual counseling for one or both of you.

    I also highly recommend reading FAscinating Womanhood.  It really helped me turn my marriage around.

  • just1kasz
    November 17, 2013 at 4:00 AM

     What kind of work did you do?  Is working important to you?

    How much of what is going on is because you left your family and country?  How long ago was that?    That is a very hard adjustment to make.  Was it part of your agreement to marry him? Are you and your husband of different cultures, that can make a big difference in marital expectations and marital happiness.  Are you living in "his country" now?  Are his family nearby and supportive in anyway?

    When you say you "just married to be a sahm",  what does that mean to you?

    Was there ever love in your relationship?

    Quoting Anonymous:

    We do talk and it makes me upset even more, i start remembering that i was working before getting married, that i left my job, my family, my country and just married to be a sahm, i love my kids 

     

    Quoting MaiVal:

    Have you sat down and had a talk? About what hurts you, what hurts him. What you want, what he wants? Try to verbalize as much as you can. Communication is key to a relationship succeeding!

     

     

     

  • drowningmama
    November 17, 2013 at 4:34 AM

    The kids putting stress on your relationship?

  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    November 17, 2013 at 5:52 PM

    BUMP!

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