Mom Confessions

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malachitemoon
Falling to pieces
September 29, 2013 at 4:42 AM

So another birthday has passed apparently below the radar. My family of course helped me to celebrate over the miles, and while that is unbelievably appreciated, its not the same as being there with them--the few people who actually *want* to celebrate my birthday with no strings attached. My mother-in-law unceremoniously dumps a rotisserie chicken, peaches, and a chocolate cake thing on the counter when she got home from work and then disappears. I didn't get any acknowledgment from the in-laws side of the family, which is peculiar and out of the norm (they normally send the generic cards, but its an acknowledgement). Several close friends who were at one point and time my everything let the day pass by. One of my sisters in law went out of her way to make me feel like a horrible person. The other went out of her way to make me feel special, which was appreciated more than she knows.

This is a little bit of self-pity, mind you, but its also a rather important question. What am I doing wrong that the people who should be closest to me do not feel the need to let me know that they remember me and that I am or have been that important to them? What can I do to change this? This is not a recent trend, either. More of an everyday normal thing. No matter how much effort I invest into my relationships and their special days, I have never seen a return. (Its not like Facebook doesn't already advertise people's birthdays enough.)

From this information that I have gathered, I can only come to one conclusion. I really am as insignificant as I think I am. Maybe the answer is to stop putting effort into these relationships since they are obviously not what I have built them up in my mind to be.

I have to be doing something tragically, terribly wrong. Maybe I'm not communicating to these people that these are what my needs are.

I don't know. I don't know what to do anymore. Except be me and set my self up for disappointment time and again.

Replies

  • MomOf3AngelBabe
    September 29, 2013 at 4:45 AM

    This is getting older hun. No one really celebrates any more. My DH gets me something VERY small and thats it. Im 33 and birthdays are almost non-existent as far as 'celebration' goes. Sorry.

    Happy Birthday!! 

  • tomary
    by tomary
    September 29, 2013 at 4:47 AM

    Im sorry those you love dont appriciate you. its nothing you are doing wrong, its prob them... happy birthday!

  • 504bbymami
    September 29, 2013 at 4:49 AM
    Really? Really??could you be anymore melodramatic ?

    I can think of nothing else to say:

    You got plenty enough attention for your bday. This is what happens when we grow up. Did you want pin the tail on the donkey and a clown to come paint your face?

    Geez just be happy your bday was even acknowledged
  • Bleacher-mom
    September 29, 2013 at 4:50 AM

    Umm, have you thought about planning something your self? My friend and I always go out for our birthdays. We just tell each other what we want to do and we do it. I don't sit around waiting for others do to for me, I call them up and say hey, this is what were doing if your free.

  • malachitemoon
    September 29, 2013 at 4:50 AM

    Not seeking a celebration, just an acknowledgement. Just a Happy Birthday phone call or facebook message at least.

  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1
    September 29, 2013 at 4:56 AM
    Says the girl who wears.skin tight leggings and post photos of her pretending to support charities online... dramatic?

    Haha

    Quoting 504bbymami:

    Really? Really??could you be anymore melodramatic ?

    I can think of nothing else to say:

    You got plenty enough attention for your bday. This is what happens when we grow up. Did you want pin the tail on the donkey and a clown to come paint your face?

    Geez just be happy your bday was even acknowledged
  • malachitemoon
    September 29, 2013 at 4:56 AM



    Quoting 504bbymami:

    Really? Really??could you be anymore melodramatic ?

    I can think of nothing else to say:

    You got plenty enough attention for your bday. This is what happens when we grow up. Did you want pin the tail on the donkey and a clown to come paint your face?

    Geez just be happy your bday was even acknowledged

    Maybe that's what I needed to hear. Thank you.


  • Genesis29
    September 29, 2013 at 4:57 AM

    we don't really celebrate birthdays either just a happy birthday and that's it , my hubby does take me for dinner and a card but nothing special , we believe we should celebrate and acknowledge each other every day not only on specials days, i don't don't and do not expect my in laws to even remember  pigs would grow wings and fly the day they remember my birthday and say something..   HAPPY B-DAY!

  • malachitemoon
    September 29, 2013 at 5:00 AM



    Quoting Genesis29:

    we don't really celebrate birthdays either just a happy birthday and that's it , my hubby does take me for dinner and a card but nothing special , we believe we should celebrate and acknowledge each other every day not only on specials days, i don't don't and do not expect my in laws to even remember  pigs would grow wings and fly the day they remember my birthday and say something..   HAPPY B-DAY!


    Thanks. We live with the in-laws currently so they see me every day and all. Maybe I should just be appreciative that she brought home dinner. Maybe I am really being too self centered and selfish. Man... sometimes I just don't know which way is up anymore.

  • Supervane
    September 29, 2013 at 5:03 AM
    I learned a long time ago that if I wanted a bday.celebration that I had to plan it myself

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