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DH just yelled at me for something I don't know how to fix, need help
by Anonymous
September 5, 2013 at 3:14 AM
I don't know what to do. My husband just finished cursing and yelling at me for something I don't know to fix. Since our baby has come home we lay him down in his bed at the first of the night and most of the time he sleeps ok in there but if he doesn't and I can't get him to calm down he'll sleep with us.
Now my biggest fear has always been our son falling out of the bed, and we have a yellow lab and sometimes the split second before I really wake up I'll think its our son when the dog jumps off the bed (probably sounds stupid but I'll see a whitish colour blur falling off the bed) and I bolt up right and try to catch him. The funny thing is most of the time our son isn't even in bed with us the times I do it, I don't think about it.
I'm not even really awake. But I just did it again and when I tried to explain why I do it he told me that was Bullsh*t and cursed at me for five minutes and yelled the f word a couple times, got mad at me that I needed to fix it and then turned as far away from me as he can. I hate swearing and he knows that. I don't swear myself so I always find it extra hurtful when he does at me, and I still don't know how to fix it. I'm not usually fully awake when I do it, my first memory is after I've already bolted up so does anyone know where I start to try to fix it?
UPDATE:
Like I said it doesn't usually happen when our babies in bed with us, and our dog doesn't sleep with us at the same time as our baby. When our baby sleeps in the bed with us I lock the dog out of the room.

Replies

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    September 5, 2013 at 3:16 AM
    I think you allowing your child to sleep in your bed is putting a strain on your marriage. You should teach him to sleep in his own bed.
  • Bellarose0212
    September 5, 2013 at 3:19 AM

    Really? Because I think the lack of respect is putting a strain on her marriage. It shouldn't be okay to yell at and curse out your wife.

    Quoting Anonymous:

    I think you allowing your child to sleep in your bed is putting a strain on your marriage. You should teach him to sleep in his own bed.



  • Bellarose0212
    September 5, 2013 at 3:20 AM

    I'm confused. He was yelling at you for bolting up in bed? Why?

    I think what you need to fix is your acceptance of your husband yelling and cursing at you. That should never be okay!

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    September 5, 2013 at 3:20 AM

    Separate bedrooms

  • 3MusketeerMama
    September 5, 2013 at 3:22 AM

    You have too many things in bed with you. If you are that nervous while bed sharing you need to not do it any more. The dog needs to get off the bed too and sleep on the damn floor.

  • LivysMama
    September 5, 2013 at 3:22 AM

    How young is the child? Maybe your husband is just sleep deprived? I know it's not really an excuse, but my husband and I were kind of snappy over meaningless shit when dd was a newborn.

  • rgba
    by rgba
    September 5, 2013 at 3:22 AM
    Yes, this


    Quoting Bellarose0212:

    I'm confused. He was yelling at you for bolting up in bed? Why?

    I think what you need to fix is your acceptance of your husband yelling and cursing at you. That should never be okay!


  • GaleJ
    by GaleJ
    September 5, 2013 at 3:22 AM
    Funny, I think that her husband's unreasonable behavior is putting a strain on their marriage. Even if the baby isn't in bed with them the OP will probably continue to react, while asleep, this way. She said that most of the time when she does it the baby isn't even in bed with them so it would seem to be some kind of instinctive behavior and not within the realm of her conscious control.


    Quoting Anonymous:

    I think you allowing your child to sleep in your bed is putting a strain on your marriage. You should teach him to sleep in his own bed.

  • susannah2000
    September 5, 2013 at 3:24 AM

    I don't know what in the hell you were saying but it sounds like you have your newborn in your bed as well as allowing a large dog to sleep on your bed? How do you think this is a good idea? The kid is tiny and defenseless, and has two adults near him plus a big dog that might jump on him or lie on him?

  • Redwoods_Mama
    September 5, 2013 at 3:25 AM

     


    Quoting LivysMama:

    How young is the child? Maybe your husband is just sleep deprived? I know it's not really an excuse, but my husband and I were kind of snappy over meaningless shit when dd was a newborn.

    That.  Holy crap, when DS was new, there were mornigns DH and I would look at each other and go "Shit.  I am SO sorry.  I am an asshole".  It was terrible.  I lauhgh now, but then?  Murderous rage over the way one of us turned over or tugged the blanket.

     

    That said, nooooo pets in the bed with a cosleeping baby.  Okay?  Cosleeping is safe if done safely.  I love my pup too, but he doesn't stay in the room with a baby and sleeping adult.  Be careful, mama.

     

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