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rfhsure
Read if you want to have Nightmares.
by rfhsure
August 6, 2013 at 2:19 AM

Imagine, if you dare....


If Cafemom was actually Cafemomabama, it's own state where all of the groups are cities.

Welcome to bitch county, grab a shake and an insult at confessionville. Major tourist attractions include the walk of fame, where all the stars of our favorite drama queens will literally burn your shoes off if you step on them. Visit the Wax Museum and get mocked and yelled at by your favorite MC stars! Or, if you're feeling like having some fun, visit the museum of stupidities, and look at all the amazing pictures and artifacts from our most ridiculous members!

Don't forget to visit the hall of mirrors at the post partum body fair this wednesday! Or, watch your friends get brutally assaulted by a barrage of angry negativity pirhanhas after fishing too deep at the compliment waterhole!




Don't forget to grab a map at the local admin office to direct you to even more exciting destinations in Rustic Cafemomabama.



Your turn! If Cafemom were an actual phsyical place, what would it look like to you?


In case there is any question:

For those of you cm'ers located in Alabama, no, there is not a specific reason I chose 'Bama' as a suffix for morer aptly titled 'cafemomland'. It was the first thing to come to mind. I apologize in advance for any hint of bias towards your fair state that I may have expressed. I have never been there, I'm sure it's lovely.

Replies

  • elitish
    by elitish
    August 6, 2013 at 2:22 AM
    It'd be sponsored by chain restaurants, Walmart, and Lard.
  • Mommy2ETnBM
    August 6, 2013 at 2:22 AM

    It would look like Wal-Mart at 2am on a Friday night. 

  • ninjakids
    August 6, 2013 at 2:24 AM
    it would be made of cardboard for all the mamas that pretend to have the perfect everything
  • rfhsure
    by rfhsure
    August 6, 2013 at 2:24 AM

    only with cagefights, and hair extensions flying everywhere

    Quoting Mommy2ETnBM:

    It would look like Wal-Mart at 2am on a Friday night. 


  • rfhsure
    by rfhsure
    August 6, 2013 at 2:25 AM

    and SPAM!


    Quoting elitish:

    It'd be sponsored by chain restaurants, Walmart, and Lard.


  • rfhsure
    by rfhsure
    August 6, 2013 at 2:25 AM

    It saddens me that you all want to have nightmares...

  • Homeschoolmom99
    August 6, 2013 at 2:25 AM


    Quoting Mommy2ETnBM:

    It would look like Wal-Mart at 2am on a Friday night. 


  • rfhsure
    by rfhsure
    August 6, 2013 at 2:26 AM

    but then they would be humbled, and the governer of Cafemomalabama just couldn't have that!

    Quoting ninjakids:

    it would be made of cardboard for all the mamas that pretend to have the perfect everything


  • Sanctimommy
    August 6, 2013 at 2:27 AM

    Your metaphors might be all mixed the fuck up, but I like your hair.

    Despite (or perhaps because of) my night time cold medicine, I found this post to be fucking hilarious.

  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1
    August 6, 2013 at 2:28 AM
    No one would be around because everyone is having " amazing, twice a day, orgasm inducing sex"! Yea right

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