Mom Confessions

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Anonymous
not exactly a confession...
by Anonymous
July 30, 2013 at 2:02 AM

But out of all my groups this was the most appropriate one. Im gonna make this short as i can cause i know u all prob dont wanna read a book.. me and hubby been married 3 yrs have 2 kids they r 7 and 2 (oldest was from previous marriage but his dad isn't in his life. another story. but just sayin he is with us all the time and calls my hubby daddy). we have been renting the whole time. i am 27 he is 23. we made decent money. he just got a new job making a good bit more. we are ready for our first home. we rent an old trailer from my grandparents. well over a yr ago we started lookin. we were stupid didnt know anything and i got over excited insisted on gettin first house we looked at. my dh said he wanted it too but him mom was totally against it and not nice about it. we were days from closing and he decides he wants to back out. i was devastated and angry cause i felt his mom had gotten to him. i agreed to sit with her and have her explain her reasons (too small, only one bathroom, etc. and she showed me other homes for same price that were better). i realized she was right. so we got out of it. i wanted a break from house huntin cause as u all know it's stressful and a hassle.  well, a yr later we have enuff money saved up for good down payment. i have been educated on house hunting and we start looking again. after a few months we find the one we want it fits everything we want. except its not in the school district we'd prefer BUT our kids go to private school so it's not that big of an issue to us.  we would have liked one in better district just in case one day we couldnt afford private. but had agreed that would not stop us from gettina  house we both wanted.. ok so no prob right.. wrong. we knew his mom would be upset so i told him go ahead give her a heads up so she isn't shocked when she finds we are makin an offer. well, she went ballistic. she never text me tho so today i text her just said i love u and i am sorry u are unhappy with our choice but we both feel its right for us. well, then i got it.. she text me like a book saying all these things she doesn't like bout our choices we have made things that are opinions but she insists they are facts. she said she knows my dh doesn't agree with me on any of these choices and is just givin me my way cause he doesnt wanna fight.. i politely said i didnt think so. but i'd talk to him and make sure.. cause i'd never go against my hsuband. obviously i wouldnt because we backed out of buyin the last house bc he didnt want to ! i could go on and on bout the things she said.very hurtful things.. she ended it with "if u don't take my advice and back out then at least i know where i stand with u. and when u come over dont pretend u love or respect me cause if u dont listen to me,then idon't." she also told me that i was makin her son make bad life choices..

I was (and still am kidna) so excited about making an offer on this house. i can just see our kids growin up there and makin it our home. but obviously if she doesn't get her way she is gonna make my life hell. or try to..and my dh is a mamas boy. she has her ways of making him sway.so im afraid he will back out cause she will get to him..i am just sad. any advice?

Replies

  • kameronsmommy08
    July 30, 2013 at 2:09 AM
    Time to cut the cord. .....
  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous - Original Poster
    July 30, 2013 at 2:10 AM

    i could not agree more.. i love my mom but when i do not agree with her i am not afraid to stand up bout it.. i must say tho his mom is pretty scary.

    Quoting kameronsmommy08:

    Time to cut the cord. .....


  • csxt99
    by csxt99
    July 30, 2013 at 2:11 AM

    Tell your MIL to quit being such a bitch and tell your husband to find his balls.

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous - Original Poster
    July 30, 2013 at 2:13 AM

    i need to be more like yall!! i am too nice and timid.. i am proud i spoke my mind and my feelings. and i wont back down.. i just pray he won't.

  • csxt99
    by csxt99
    July 30, 2013 at 2:15 AM


    I hope he doesn't back down, either.  Mama's boys are such pains in the ass!  And yes, you need to be able to speak your mind and stand your ground.

    Quoting Anonymous:

    i need to be more like yall!! i am too nice and timid.. i am proud i spoke my mind and my feelings. and i wont back down.. i just pray he won't.



  • Angelicembrace
    July 30, 2013 at 2:15 AM
    Yeah, he needs to put a stop to this. My dfs family is like this. Its controlling and manipulative and just plain wrong. If I were you, I'd tell her that. While her input is appreciated and helped you initially, you both are happy with this house now. Id call her out on the manipulation in a nice manner. I'm sorry :(..it has got to be frustrating.
  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous - Original Poster
    July 30, 2013 at 2:21 AM

    thank yall. i am happy i made this post. cause yall are confirming my feelings.. she does have a way of tricking your mind.. but i wont let it work w/me. i pray he will not either.. she has a LOT of money and has WAY higher standards than us. which is fine for her.. but we cannot afford what she thinks we have to have.. she says the neighborhood is awful.which, it is not.. it may be to her, but we dont agree. i told her we are different and have different views and that is ok. i appreciate her opinion but do not have to take it. she told me i was bein stupid and thinkin of the future and all kinda stuff..then went on to list all MY mistakes (not me and dh's, MINE..even tho they were all decisions we made together). for instance, said me buying a car 2 yrs ago was stupid.. because it made an extra bill *my old one was given to me by my parents didnt have a note.. well, it was gonna be 1500 dollars to fix it and it wasn't worth that! i had already but thousands into it and wasnt gonna keep on... i mean and its not like i got a new car.i bought an 08 with only 55000 miles on it note is not bad and gasp i have not had a single problem with it knock on wood.. it's like i love u i do, but we arent asking u for money or anything so MYOB

    Quoting Angelicembrace:

    Yeah, he needs to put a stop to this. My dfs family is like this. Its controlling and manipulative and just plain wrong. If I were you, I'd tell her that. While her input is appreciated and helped you initially, you both are happy with this house now. Id call her out on the manipulation in a nice manner. I'm sorry :(..it has got to be frustrating.


  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    July 30, 2013 at 2:27 AM
    "If you don't do what I tell you you don't love me"? WTH? I agree with you. This is your life not hers. It's time to stop her manipulation and emotional abuse.
  • Bleacher-mom
    July 30, 2013 at 2:32 AM

    The type of person I am I would turn it around on her. "Hey MIL, I'm at KFC and need to know what to order" "Hey MIL, what type of pads should I buy, here let me send you a picture of what I'm looking at" "Hey MIL, I need to know what nightie to wear tonight for your son. the black one, the red one or should I just go completely nude"

    First, take a step back and make sure that the house isn't just one that you like, but it is a sound financial decision. I have a great relationship with my in-laws so when we went house hunting they went with us to look for things we may have missed. In fact there was one house that I LOVED but FIL said there seemed to be some issues with it. So we didn't get it, and I'm glad we didn't. We found out later on because we knew the people who bought it that the wiring was messed up badly. I trust my in-laws, however, there have been times that we haven't agreed on issues. Namely me homeschooling. But I stood my ground and after a while they have accepted it.

    There could be a number of issues. She just honestly thinks it a bad idea, maybe that particular house or the timing, and she may have a good point. Or she can't stand the thought of her son trusting your judgement or hers and is trying to gain control. Or she is hurt that you guys have not included her in a big decision in you life and she is hurt and is lashing out. Either way, stand your ground and be respectful.

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous - Original Poster
    July 30, 2013 at 2:56 AM

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