he thinks i dnt notice but i do...even when we are out with our 2 kids, he eyeballs other girls and it makes me feel ugly..:[ its like i have to wear revealing clothes to feel better about mself..i use to feel good about myself but lately i havent and i talked to him about this and he says he dont look at anyone..he even watches porn without me knowing ...y cant he have sex with me when im right next to him like hello we live in the same house...gosh thn he constantly texts his cousin and his girl bff while we are supose to spend time together..he even called his cousin cute ..:[
I don't know what to tell you, my first reaction would be to walk away but I noticed you said you have kids..so I know it isn't that easy. But I'd stand my ground, start pointing out to him when he does it and tell him it makesyou uncomfortable and he needs to respect that. Try to have a good talk with him about how it makes you feel, if he doesn't change than you really need to think about what you want to do. Looking at porn is ok IF both people are comfortable with it.
If he doesn't make you feel like the most beautiful girl in the room. Walk away you can do better by yourself. He can help you take care of the kids. That has nothing to do with the relationship between the two of you . As long as you feel bad about yourself your will keep yourself
repressed. You don't need him to make you feel beautiful but he should make you feel confident enough to feel even more beautiful. Get rid of him he is weighing you and your self worth down.
by Anonymous 1
July 27, 2013 at 8:49 AM
Grow a pair and get a real man who only has eyes for you.
My boyfriend notices if a good looking girl walks by, just like I notice when a good looking guy walks by. it's human nature, we as humans notice those things.
that being said, it doesn't invalidate how you feel. if things like that are getting in the way of your relationship, it's time to look deeper and figure out where the problems in your relationship start..get to the core. it's like an onion so to say, him looking at other girls and watching porn bother you. and while it's okay to feel that way, you need to peel those layers off, set them aside and look deeper. until you figure out where this is all stemming from, there's always going to be something secondary that you won't like.
I say this from experience. I would get jealous and insecure when I knew my guy noticed a good looking girl. I would worry that I'm not good enough. which led to trust issues for me in relationships. I realized that as I set those things aside, there were other much deeper issues. other behaviors from who I was dating, as well my self esteem issues.
my boyfriend now is stationed 17 hours away from me. and I trust him a million times more than I ever trusted guys who lived minutes away from me. while I know he's not blind and will definitely notice if a hot girl walks by him, I know I can trust him with everything I have. I notice a good looking guy, but that's looks, that's nothing beyond that. and neither of us want anything with anyone else. we know that and we trust that.
so..I really do encourage you to look deeper than these issues you brought up.