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Why do some single moms act manly/think they don't need help?
by Anonymous
June 22, 2013 at 5:02 PM

My bff is a single mom. Technically to her older child. She has a bf and has a new baby with him but she still acts as if she has to do everything. He asks her if she needs help with things, she says she doesn't need it, she's ok. She carries in all the groceries along with her baby in the car seat carrier, doesn't txt her bf to come out and help. I know this cause I lived with them for a little bit cause I needed a place to crash for a while. She's just too accustomed to doing everything on her own, ever since her ex(baby daddy to her first) was unemployed or worked at the car wash, she had to pay his way for gas and rent, etc. I'm afraid her relationship with this guy won't last. Does she need therapy to be more of a woman than like a man cause of what she's been through in the past? Her bf can't support everyone though since he has spousal support obligations, hence why she feels neglected even more cause she's in the same predictament again but this guy does have a job but has to support another household and doesn't have enough to support his new child. They planned this baby but hoped his shit with his ex would've been over but she;s dragging her feet with the divorce and support, my bff did not want to abort the child. She works two jobs to support everyone. What he has leftover after support is only enough to make his car payments and gas and one utility bill in their apartment. He can't pay for diapers/other baby needs. The rest is all on her.

Replies

  • GirlWithANikon
    June 22, 2013 at 5:06 PM

    So she is self sufficient which means she is manly? .... Are you an idiot ? I think you need therapy for thinking a woman can do things on her own. I am married and have NEVER been a single mom and can carry all my own groceries as well. Some people just aren't lazy, weak, or dependent. Thats a GOOD thing, not a reason for therapy. And any man who is afraid of a women who can do it without, is no man at all.

    If the guy is a leech and shes supporting him she should ditch him though.

  • FrozenReesesCup
    June 22, 2013 at 5:07 PM
    Because i don't need help. I don't get pa or cs and I'm proud of myself.
  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    June 22, 2013 at 5:09 PM

     

    Quoting GirlWithANikon:

    So she is self sufficient which means she is manly? .... Are you an idiot ? I think you need therapy for thinking a woman can do things on her own. I am married and have NEVER been a single mom and can carry all my own groceries as well. Some people just aren't lazy, weak, or dependent. Thats a GOOD thing, not a reason for therapy. And any man who is afraid of a women who can do it without, is no man at all.

    If the guy is a leech and shes supporting him she should ditch him though.

     BUT she has a bf that can help her. Maybe not financially but you know what I mean. When I lived with them, he used to come up to me and say 'she acts like she has a penis at times, as if I'm here.'

  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    June 22, 2013 at 5:10 PM

     

    Quoting FrozenReesesCup:

    Because i don't need help. I don't get pa or cs and I'm proud of myself.

     But would you still act like that if a new man enters your life? Would you tell him to piss off, not to help you?

  • FoxFire363
    June 22, 2013 at 5:10 PM
    You are a moron. Independent and capable do not equal manly.
  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    June 22, 2013 at 5:10 PM

     

    Quoting FoxFire363:

    You are a moron. Independent and capable do not equal manly.

     Again. She has a BF, does she still have to act that way?

  • Anonymous 2
    by Anonymous 2
    June 22, 2013 at 5:11 PM
    I've been a single mom for 2 yrs. When you get so used to doing everything by yourself it's just natural to keep doing it that way. Example: my kids father came down for visitation for our ODS birthday party. When we got out of my car I got the stroller and diaper bag for yds got him out of the car and buckled in and then let ods out (child lock) and carried the diaper bag and pushed the stroller although he asked if I wanted help. Point is when you get uses to doing everything alone you have to adjust to someone else being there to help. Some people could take a month or so and some people can take a year or longer.
  • Anonymous 3
    by Anonymous 3
    June 22, 2013 at 5:11 PM

    I "act like I have to do everything" because I actually HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING.

    and your friend isn't "acting manly."  She's being a mom.  Providing for a family isn't "manly" 

  • FoxFire363
    June 22, 2013 at 5:11 PM
    Well then, he's as sexist and stupid as you, if he makes comments like that. Since when did one need a penis to carry in groceries?


    Quoting Anonymous:

     


    Quoting GirlWithANikon:


    So she is self sufficient which means she is manly? .... Are you an idiot ? I think you need therapy for thinking a woman can do things on her own. I am married and have NEVER been a single mom and can carry all my own groceries as well. Some people just aren't lazy, weak, or dependent. Thats a GOOD thing, not a reason for therapy. And any man who is afraid of a women who can do it without, is no man at all.


    If the guy is a leech and shes supporting him she should ditch him though.


     BUT she has a bf that can help her. Maybe not financially but you know what I mean. When I lived with them, he used to come up to me and say 'she acts like she has a penis at times, as if I'm here.'


  • FoxFire363
    June 22, 2013 at 5:12 PM
    Did she suddenly become incapable of doing stuff because she got a boyfriend?


    Quoting Anonymous:

     


    Quoting FoxFire363:

    You are a moron. Independent and capable do not equal manly.

     Again. She has a BF, does she still have to act that way?


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