Mom Confessions

happy-go-lucky
My step kids birth mother died
May 25, 2013 at 6:06 PM
Dh and I have had full custody of my step kids for 6 years. It has been that long since BM has seen the kids. It has been two years since she talked to them. All of that was her own choice. Today a sheriff from the state she was living in called dh to let him know she had killed herself. And now we have to tell our kids. BM's mom is driving out to be here when dh tells the kids, she will be here in 7 or 8 hours. They are going to be so hurt, it's killing me. The kids are 10 (11 next month), 9 and 8. I don't know what to do. I can't stop thinking about them being in pain.

Thanks for the good wishes. We don't know what we will tell them, dh and Grami (BM's mom) will figure it out when she gets here. That's when they will figure out if there will be a funeral or what. Dh has spent the last few hours looking at old photos and showing them to the kids.

We told the kids, this morning, and told them the truth. My step daughter (8) was very upset, my step sons cried a little but not as much. We took a hike had lunch and then just relaxed. They are still sad but doing ok. The medical examiners office is closed until Tuesday, so dh has to wait until then to talk to them. We will leave it up to the kids if they want to go to a funeral or not. Everything else we are just going one day at a time. Again thank you for the kind words.

Replies

  • GabbyP.
    by GabbyP.
    May 25, 2013 at 6:08 PM
    Hugs. The only thing you can do is be there for them like you already are.
  • spooky415
    May 25, 2013 at 6:09 PM
    My mom died when I was 8. It was tough. I wish them the best.
  • ouchienurse
    May 25, 2013 at 6:09 PM
    I'm so sorry. My SD's mom did the same when she was 10. It is awful and I'm so sorry. Just be there for them, that's all you can really do
  • invisibleme
    May 25, 2013 at 6:10 PM
    My nephew just lost his dad to suicide last year. Its tough just be there for them if they want to talk.
  • DannieLou
    May 25, 2013 at 6:11 PM
    I would look into counseling. It sounds like a messed up deal all around. Just be there for them to lean on and cry on, they'll need it.
  • metalmomma86
    May 25, 2013 at 6:11 PM
    All you can do is love them, be there and let them grieve.
    Good luck
  • daisybaby91
    May 25, 2013 at 6:11 PM

    those poor kids :(

    at least they have you and your husband, and a grandma that cares about them. it is going to be really tough for them but at least they have family.

  • illogicalkat
    May 25, 2013 at 6:12 PM

    Just be there for them. Keep loving them & let them know that you do.

    And I wouldn't tell them that she committed suicide. They don't really need to know that, not right now at least.

  • waffa
    by waffa
    May 25, 2013 at 6:13 PM

    this...

    Quoting GabbyP.:

    Hugs. The only thing you can do is be there for them like you already are.

    and try to get them to remember that she loved them even though whatever her issues were prevented her from telling thm.


  • BEXi
    by BEXi
    May 25, 2013 at 6:14 PM

    Oh wow. I am so sorry.

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