I have an 18 year old son that thinks that I am just a family friend. I had him when I was 14 and decided to have an open adoption. Through the years I have seen him at cookouts and birthdays. I get school pictures and have gone to all his school plays and anything else I could go to. His parents are great about letting me into their lives. Well they came over last night without him because they wanted to chat with me. They told me that after his graduation from HS in a week that they were going to tell him he was adopted. I knew that they were going to do this but I didn't think they would do it that day! And now I am so nervous. I am going to both his graduation and his graduation party with my husband, not his father and our kids. I hope he isn't angry with me for my decision. I only wanted to do the best for him.
FYI his father is aware of him but never wanted anything to do with him other than an occasional picture. My husband knows he is mine as well and is very understanding about it.
They really should have been open with him about it from a lot younger age. SO wasn't told he was adopted until his early 20's and it did not go over well. My cousins were told they were adopted from maybe 4-5 years old and explained in a very loving and age appropriate way. They are both wonderful young men who have no issues or resentments because of being adopted.
Not saying this is how it will go with your son, this is just my experience. I hope everything works out smoothly and for the best with you and him and his adoptive parents.
Wow, they waited a long time to tell him that information. I found out that my dad wasn't my dad when I was 13 and only because my cousin told me. It was one of the worst things that I ever had to go through, and my mom would NOT tell me anything about my biological father until I turned 18. (and even then, not too much more. ) No name, nothing. It was like there was a big black hole where half my life used to be. Nothing seemed solid anymore. But that's just my experience.
I hope it goes well for you and him. Good luck, op! :)