Mom Confessions

Anonymous
Words of Caution Re: Ashley Madison *UPDATE 3*
by Anonymous
May 12, 2013 at 3:36 PM

CM Friends,

I am writing you this post, sad and depressed on Mother's Day, 2013, because I am so mad at myself.  So mad at my actions.  And so mad at this horrible website, Ashley Madison.  

I have been faithfully married to a wonderful, kind, caring, attractive man for over 10 years (omg, this is hard to write...I am starting to cry)...a beautiful man, a man who gave his family everything he had...who worked day in and day out to provide for us.   A man who loved us for just being us...

However, 3 weeks ago, my husband went onto my laptop when I was in the shower and discovered my Ashley Madison account.  In all the time I have known him, my husband has never been violent, but I can honestly say on that day I saw another side to him.  He kicked open the bathroom door and ripped down half the shower curtain while I was still in there.  He kept on screaming. I couldn't even understand him but  I immediately knew what it was about.  My heart dropped to my stomach and my knees got weak.  Next thing I know, he grabbed my arm and pulled me to the bedroom and showed me the computer.  All I could say to him was that I was sorry, so very sorry.   He calmed down a little bit, and asked me to tell him exactly what happened.  I broke down and told him everything.  I told him that I had discovered Ashley Madison about 6 months ago.  I told him that I had communicated with some men over that time but that they meant nothing to me.  He asked me if I had sex with any of them.  I admitted that I had sex with 2 of the men.  I thought he was going to hit me, but instead he just dropped to his knees and began crying.  In 15 years, I have never seen him cry.  Even when his best friend died.  He was (is) the strongest person I had ever known.  But in this moment, my selfish actions had reduced him to nothing.  I tried to console him, but it was no use.  He barged out of the house and I did not hear from him for 2 days.  

It has been 3 weeks and Mike, my husband still won't even speak to me.  I thought he might call me to wish me Happy Mom's Day, but nothing so far (3:30 pm EST).  He owns his own business so he has been staying at the office, sleeping on his couch.  At this moment, I have no clue what is going to happen with us, with our family.  I am so scared that he is going to leave me.  I am so scared that I am going to lose everything.  I never thought our kids might grow up in a two family household, but I am starting to think that might become a reality.  The last 3 weeks have been the worst kind of nightmare. 

I am writing this post to warn you about this website and other sites like it.  I never even thought about having an affair until I heard some friends talk about Ashley Madison.  It piqued my curiosity and I went on there just to check it out.  It was just SO EASY and straightforward and one thing led to another.  Within a few days, I had men messaging me, vying for my attention. It was just so..FUN!  At first, I limited my contact to messaging only, but as things progressed, men would ask to see me.  In hindsight, I was being immature, but in the moment it was so very exciting and provocative, I gave into temptation. 

I know for a fact that there are other women on CM who are currently on Ashley Madison as well. I am going Anon on this, but some of you have messaged me privately to discuss AM when I brought it up on other threads.  I used to be one of those people who said "what he doesn't know, won't hurt him", but honestly, I as very very wrong.  The fleeting sex is not worth even the POSSIBILITY of your husband finding out.  I thought I was covering my tracks well, but everyone makes mistakes when they are leading a double life.  Now, I have destroyed the one person that I love the most in this world.  It was SO NOT WORTH IT. 

Leaving on a positive note.  I am hoping my husband will take me back.  He loves his family so much. I think he will do the right thing and give me another chance.  I am willing to spend the rest of my life making it up to him.

Ask me any questions, and I will answer them truthfully. 

Sincerely, 

Anonymous. 

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UPDATE
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Everyone, please, I AM NOT BLAMING AM.  I know my actions caused this mess.  What I am saying is:  I know that I am not the ONLY ONE ON CM that has an AM account.  To the moms that have private messaged me asking about AM, I am writing this post to warn you!!!  It may seem fun and exciting at first, but it puts you directly in th crosshairs of temptation.  Just stay away from sites like these!!  
 

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UPDATE 2
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I updated the title of the post to reflect more the meaning of my post.  It was right for others to denounce me by saying that I was blaming a website, although that was not my intention.  Again, my message is for others who are on sites like this to stay away.  Things can get out of hand quickly in fantasy land. 

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UPDATE 3 - FINAL

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To everyone that took the time to read my post and reply, I say "thank you".  I read every last comment on this thread and I took to heart every negative remark as well as every word of hope.   I am very happy to say that at 7:01 pm EST, my husband sent me a text message saying "Happy Mother's Day".  I replied back to him saying that I missed him and to please come home.  To which he replied "No, Thank You".  But at least I know he was thinking of me and at this point, I will take what I can get,  Take care everyone. 

Replies

  • CrazyStacy
    May 12, 2013 at 3:43 PM

    I got nothing...

    but contempt....

  • Beautiful31mom
    May 12, 2013 at 3:46 PM

    So you are blaming a website for your actions. Way to not take responsibly for your actions.

  • loving_my2boys
    May 12, 2013 at 3:47 PM
    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!
    Quit your whining and suck it up.
    You deserve it.
  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    May 12, 2013 at 3:47 PM

    Trash...

  • ColtsFan1912
    May 12, 2013 at 3:47 PM

    Ashley Madison didn't destory your life YOU DID! 

  • Abby.N.Amys.Mom
    May 12, 2013 at 3:48 PM

    Well... serves you right.

    That's all I've got.

  • goodnightmama
    May 12, 2013 at 3:48 PM
    Wow just wow
  • angevil53
    May 12, 2013 at 3:48 PM



    Quoting ColtsFan1912:

    Ashely Madison didn't destory your life YOU DID!



  • rachel5898
    May 12, 2013 at 3:49 PM

    Seriously...what did you expect would happen?

  • vindicated
    May 12, 2013 at 3:49 PM

    you destroyed your life.

    you wouldnt have done it if there wasnt something missing in your life.

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