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Roxygurl
He wants me to be a SAHM
May 8, 2013 at 9:52 AM
And I don't want to be.

My fiancé and I have discussed this several times and I've told him I could never be a SAHM, some women can but I can't.

He said he was ok with that, that he would support me whatever I chose.

He hints around from time to time that it would be better if I was a SAHM and each and every time I tell him no, I want to work.

Now he's talking this move to lousiana and he mentions again that I could stay home and once again I tell him no, I'll find a job there.

I don't know what else to say to him that shows him I won't be a SAHM.

Replies

  • danijean
    May 8, 2013 at 9:53 AM
    Aren't you a nanny? That's just like a SAHM just with other peoples kids and you get paid! Do what makes you happy, being a SAHM isn't for everyone.
  • LovingSAHMommy
    May 8, 2013 at 9:53 AM

    You don't have to keep tellnig him no. I'd tell him no one last time and that would be it. I'm a sahm and I love it. But...if someone didn't want to do it, it could be hell. It will end up negatively affecting the entire family if you don't want to be at home and you are. Tell him that, and ask him if that's what he would rather.

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    May 8, 2013 at 9:54 AM
    Hmm, doesn't want you to work and moving to Louisiana to isolate you. I would be running far away from the altar.
  • jillbailey26
    May 8, 2013 at 9:54 AM

    Have you given him the reasons?  Like, how you actually are unable to because you'd be miserable and you'd go crazy (or whatever your reasons are).  Instead of "no, I refuse to."

  • Roxygurl
    May 8, 2013 at 9:55 AM
    Yes I am a nanny but I don't consider it basically a SAHM. I have to get up at a certain time every day, just like any other job. I have things I need to get done during the day, just like any other job. I get a paycheck, just like any other job.

    I like it because I can do this and not have to worry about daycare. My kid comes with me.


    Quoting danijean:

    Aren't you a nanny? That's just like a SAHM just with other peoples kids and you get paid! Do what makes you happy, being a SAHM isn't for everyone.
  • Roxygurl
    May 8, 2013 at 9:56 AM
    Seriously? The move would be for work. I don't know many people who wouldn't jump at the chance to double their salary even if they have to move 6 hours away.

    Quoting Anonymous:

    Hmm, doesn't want you to work and moving to Louisiana to isolate you. I would be running far away from the altar.
  • EmilysMom2010
    May 8, 2013 at 9:56 AM
    I would definitely not be getting married until this can get figured out.

    Quoting Anonymous:

    Hmm, doesn't want you to work and moving to Louisiana to isolate you. I would be running far away from the altar.
  • Roxygurl
    May 8, 2013 at 9:57 AM
    Yes! That and I'd feel like I wasn't contributing to the household. That I was raised to be very dependent and not rely on anyone else.

    Quoting jillbailey26:

    Have you given him the reasons?  Like, how you actually are unable to because you'd be miserable and you'd go crazy (or whatever your reasons are).  Instead of "no, I refuse to."

  • TiffanyRose06
    May 8, 2013 at 9:57 AM
    I'm sorry he's pressuring you. Personally I would love to be a sahm again, however my mom is and she hates it. She wants to work

    People are just different
  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    May 8, 2013 at 9:59 AM

    Being a SAHM is career suicide.

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