I'm mad. I resent him. We are done with kids. Baby number 2 and I've been trying desperately trying to find a way to work from home so I can be with the kids.
I went back to work in March. I hate it. DH will stop paying child support next month (that's over $800/month) and if we were more frugal we could afford for me to stay home.
I don't want to be a SAHM forever, just for about a year, if that! But nope, he's being a complete dickhead. I spend $1200 a month on childcare to go to work, plus gas, which is another $200-$250/ month depending on gas prices and for what? After I pay my portion of the bills, I have NOTHING left.
A friend of mine will pay me $115/week to watch her daughter. That would be just enough to cover my portion of bills, plus with child support stopping, I don't see why we can freakin do this! He says no, I need to keep looking for a better paying job.
Why can't I look for a better paying job while I'm at home? Either way I'll be bringing home the same amount of money - $0.
I feel my resentment growing. I feel bad for being so upset, he does work really hard and he already pays the majority of the bills (he does make 3x what I do) but I really don't feel like I'm asking a whole lot. I'm not asking to just up and quit and leave him with all the bills, I'm trying to find a way to bring in some money, but he won't let me unless I'm making more than enough to cover the bills. My friend goes back to work at the end of the month. I have to let her know within a week so she can make other arrangements. I would keep looking for additional income, but I just want to lock her in and he says no.
I'm pissed. Hurt. Depressed. I cry a lot, and I'm sure some of that is still hormones. I have to drop my baby off every morning for upwards of 11 hours/ day! I hate it!! Part of me wishes I would get let go for something stupid so I could get unemployment. I've even tried pleading with my job to let me work from home a couple days/week but they're all a bunch of assholes and refuse.
I'm actively looking for another job, or any job that will let me telecommute from home at least a couple days a week. I'm not greedy, I just want more time with my baby.
Ohh, I feel for you. Just tell him how it is. Do daycare out of your home, that is the best option for you. I worked liked that when my kids where little and when stuff hit the fan, it was always me who had to quit my job. Best thing is, to hang in there and speak out. You will be in my prayers.
You have a "portion of the bills?" Aren't you married? I'm so sorry for you, I can't fathom your situation. My DH provides for us financially, and is proud of it. He would never force me to get a job or stay at a job if I wasn't happy.
Yours doesn't sound like he wants a happy wife or a family unit, just a tit-for-tat living arrangement. :(