Mom Confessions

Anonymous
Debbie Downer *update*
by Anonymous
April 29, 2013 at 2:05 PM

Does anyone have "that friend" who is always negative, always b*tching about their lives, etc?

I have one who is CONSTANTLY complaining. Yes, her life kinda sucks right now, but GEEZ 99% of our conversation is about her terrible life. I could leave work in a peachy mood, she'll call, and just drag it down.

I've had some rough patches. My dad just found out he has cancer, just had surgery, needs another surgery. It's not looking good.

But her husband lost his job, and they don't know how to save money, so even before this they were broke.

Who do you think dominates the b*tching in our conversations? Her.

She sometimes even says "So what's going on with you? You never have anything to b*tch about." WHAT?!? Every time I'll start, she'll butt in - and I don't feel like begging to talk about my possibly dying father. I feel that if she can have my undivided attention to her stupid rantings, than she should return that favor and not cut me off, or start talking to someone else in the room while on the phone with me (MID-sentence). I was in tears on the phone starting to tell her the news when we found out, and she starts yelling at her DD to wash the dishes, make sure you dry them, etc... while I was pouring my heart out.

Is it just me, or should she set a few minutes aside and step out somewhere to talk on the phone? Or say "Hey, I can't really give you all my attention right now and don't want to keep interrupting. Can I call you back as soon as I get a free minute?" Is that too much to ask???

Sorry, loooooong rant lol

Update:
Wow, it went WAY better than expected. It started out the same as usual, but every time she interrupted with one of her stories, I just kept talking... So eventually I got frustrated and explained it to her in the nicest way I could. She apologized and explained that she had no idea how I was feeling about my dad and didn't want to prod for information if I didn't want to talk about it (I'm usually a very private person). She also said that she didn't even realize she was doing it and would definitely try to keep that in check. She explained that she's a talker and by me not saying anything about it, she thought things were fine...

So that was good. We'll see if it sticks...

Replies

  • kaycersmom
    April 29, 2013 at 2:07 PM
    Id just start missing her calls. I have a friend named Debbie she's an upper lol
  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    April 29, 2013 at 2:10 PM
    I have someone who follows me around at church complaining about how hard it is and how expensive it is to have 4 kids. Then he tells me number 5 is on the way. Great.
    Another follows me around telling me how I should be teaching my son and what I should be teaching him because she used to be a public school teacher and I homeschool.
    And then there's the one who knows all and has 6 perfect children she has never had to discipline in their lives. She thinks she knows how I should raise my special needs son.
    Did I mention I have a million things to do while these 3 follow me around?
  • Talienas
    April 29, 2013 at 2:13 PM
    I'm sorry but the best advice I have his to tell her how you feel. It's hard to tell her to go away and fund a replacement but you have probably been friends forever and you don't want to replace her. Literally tell her to shoosh next time and why.
  • Sunshine257
    April 29, 2013 at 2:13 PM
    With people like that I dodge their phone calls for awhile. They usually figure it out. She isn't being a good friend if she isn't there when you need her.
  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous - Original Poster
    April 29, 2013 at 2:15 PM

     OMG she is the same way. We make the same money and have the same amount of family members, and she complains to me how hard it is to stretch money and how she's broke all the time. I try to suggest things I do to save money, but she comes up with excuse after excuse. I've run her daily errands with her, so I know her "I don't have time to do that" excuse is B.S. I just don't get it. Same with her MIL issues, she lets her walk ALL over them and does nothing about it - except complain to me. I've even told her about that before - if you're not going to do anything about it, why waste your breath complaining about it? (She didn't catch the hint lol)

    Quoting Anonymous:

    I have someone who follows me around at church complaining about how hard it is and how expensive it is to have 4 kids. Then he tells me number 5 is on the way. Great.
    Another follows me around telling me how I should be teaching my son and what I should be teaching him because she used to be a public school teacher and I homeschool.
    And then there's the one who knows all and has 6 perfect children she has never had to discipline in their lives. She thinks she knows how I should raise my special needs son.
    Did I mention I have a million things to do while these 3 follow me around?

     

  • .Diddles.
    April 29, 2013 at 2:15 PM

    Nope. I got rid of those people. However, my upstairs neighbor is a total Debbie Downer! Her real name is Kathy, but I almost called her Debbie one day not thinking, haha. She never, ever has anything good to say. 


  • mom2aspclboy
    April 29, 2013 at 2:17 PM

    Time to reevaluate your friendship. If she is a toxic friend, always bringing you down or you are always doing for her w/o her really reciprocating, then why are you friends? What is she bringing to your friendship? Once you have honestly answered these questions, then you'll need to decide if you want to continue to have a relationship with her. If the answer is no, then time to distance yourself from her. 

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous - Original Poster
    April 29, 2013 at 2:25 PM

     Is it terrible to admit that I keep her around because she's one of the very few friends I have left and I don't want to be alone?

    Wow, saying it out loud (typing lol) really sounds pathetic.

    Quoting mom2aspclboy:

    Time to reevaluate your friendship. If she is a toxic friend, always bringing you down or you are always doing for her w/o her really reciprocating, then why are you friends? What is she bringing to your friendship? Once you have honestly answered these questions, then you'll need to decide if you want to continue to have a relationship with her. If the answer is no, then time to distance yourself from her. 

     

  • mom2aspclboy
    April 29, 2013 at 9:42 PM

    No, it isn't terrible, it's sad. You should really think about that statement; If you are keeping around a friend who only brings you down, what does that say about what you think about yourself? To me it says that you'd rather be miserable than alone or you'd rather be miserable than find new friends.

    Don't you think that you deserve better? 

    Quoting Anonymous:

     Is it terrible to admit that I keep her around because she's one of the very few friends I have left and I don't want to be alone?

    Wow, saying it out loud (typing lol) really sounds pathetic.

    Quoting mom2aspclboy:

    Time to reevaluate your friendship. If she is a toxic friend, always bringing you down or you are always doing for her w/o her really reciprocating, then why are you friends? What is she bringing to your friendship? Once you have honestly answered these questions, then you'll need to decide if you want to continue to have a relationship with her. If the answer is no, then time to distance yourself from her. 



  • LucyMom08
    April 29, 2013 at 9:43 PM

     I live in Debbie Down-TOWN...seriously, every person here is like that...it drives me and SO crazy...haha...

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