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bear.katten
DH is making us go broke!!! Update- AWESOME UPDATE :-D
April 22, 2013 at 7:56 PM
I am a SAHM, have been for about 7ish months. DH works a 40 hour week (night shift) and makes about $400 a week. We can live off of that pretty easily if we dont blow our money on stupid shit. DH does relatively well with his paychecks, he tends to be late making his car insurance payment but it always get paid, the real problem is when we come into any kind of "extra" money. Like our tax refunds. We had some bills to pay off, our rings, his hospital bill, ect. But when I opened his bank statement $2,000 was gone within 2 months! (I dont open them every month). I have no idea what all that went to! Bills, some things we had to buy for DS like a highchair and new clothes, some things for the house (new pans, organizational things) but that doesnt even equal $1,000!!!!!
We do not have a joint bank account because he doesnt want one. I know technically its all his money since he is the only one working but WE need that money. I make out precise budgets, have all appointments and bills on the calendar on the wall and even write him out a list if we have multiple things we need to do or bills to pay.
I dont know how to stop his money spending! We have a talk about money and then he runs out and buys a DVD season o_O
What would you do?

Update: So, DH agreed that to help us save he will start putting $50 into my bank account each week for me to keep track of. I can spend it if he isnt home and I need to go get something for me or the baby but its purpose is to be saved. His name is not on the account so there is no way he can blow it. This leaves him around $100 of spending money after bills. I explained to him that after this recent money dissapearance I feel that he needs to have to go through me to touch our extra money and he actually agreed. He still does not want a joint bank account though, he has no reason other than "I just want them seperate.". So be it, if the extra money is going into my private account its safe.
The missing money: He let his coworker borrow $500 for rent. He said he didnt tell me because I'd be pissed, I am pissed. This coworker always seems to need to borrow money from someone and while I know he will pay it back it could take months. I personally know the coworkers wife and texted her asking if she knew anything about this and she said "Yes, he didnt tell you?". I lit into him about how thats our money WE need and its a huge trust issue if he is letting people borrow money and not telling me. Hopefully it doesnt happen again but thank God it wasnt for drugs or spent gambling or something.
Obviously all our problems are not resolved, he still see's the money as "his" but its a step in the right direction.

Awesome Update! :) Tonight DH agreed to get a joint bank account! I told him about how if he died tomorrow he would leave us with nothing because my name is not on the account (which is something I didnt even know until a few ladies mentioned it here!). So we will be going to the bank tomorrow! He also said he'd like us to make wills to make sure I get anything else he would leave behind which I think is a great idea! Thank you to the ladies who gave me advice on how to talk to him about this! I was actually surprised he agreed to it so easily tonight but I guess the thought of him dying and leaving our son and I with nothing pulled his head out of his ass real quick!

Replies

  • lucky2Beeme
    April 22, 2013 at 8:06 PM

    I would ask where that $ 1,000 went. Then I would take over the bills. If he wasn't willing to add my name to the bank then  I would feel he was hiding something and that would pretty much end us.

  • mommy2alissa
    April 22, 2013 at 8:08 PM

    If you do not have a joint bank account, you have bigger issues lol 

  • xxjadedhaloxx
    April 22, 2013 at 8:14 PM

    DH used to be bad about spending money and it was to the point his mom was having to help us make bills.  We fought a lot and finally he got to where he wasn't lying about money or anything else and we do fine on our own, were able to move somewhere better and always have extra money.

  • Dzyre1115
    April 22, 2013 at 8:16 PM

     I would get a job and live independently.

  • Mommy2b2many
    April 22, 2013 at 8:18 PM
    I would have a sitdown chat withhim about where the money goes... and set a strict accountability budget. You both agree upon what to spend money on and you both call to discuss spending that is not on the budget. But number one is communication and accountability must be there. Good luck!
  • CuriousArentYa
    April 22, 2013 at 8:19 PM

    Well, technically it's not his money (speaking as what my husband I do) it's OUR money. We have joint bank accounts, he has a couple of savings accounts that I am not on and I have a few that he is not on, but we are honest with each other about them. 

    My husband handles our money because I will spend a little here and a little there, so it's best that he handle it. In other words, I am your husband. Really, I don't know what you can do, he really needs to be the one to see and understand what he is doing and that we he can control it. If I were you, I would demand joint accounts so that you can keep a better eye on the money and I would pay bills as soon as the money comes in and before he can spend it. . . When I want to spend money I just let my husband know how much I want to spend and he tells me if we have it or not. It makes life so much more easier. 

  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1
    April 22, 2013 at 8:20 PM
    Did you ask him what he spent the money on?
  • mem82
    by mem82
    April 22, 2013 at 8:20 PM

    I would be so angry.

  • LiesLiesLies
    April 22, 2013 at 8:21 PM
    This.


    Quoting Dzyre1115:

     I would get a job and live independently.


  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1
    April 22, 2013 at 8:21 PM
    First things first! Where did the money go?

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