Mom Confessions

Anonymous
went swimming with dolphines, and now im scared.....please help!
by Anonymous
April 5, 2013 at 9:40 PM

me and my dh went on vacation and went swimming with dolphines. well, dh went off on his own and left me alone behind the boat. there was this dolphine who seemed very curious about me, so i just kind of hung out. out of nowhere, this thing attacked me, i think it raped me, and now im scared im pregnant. 

i knew i shouldn't have worn a bikini, but it was soooo hot. 

i haven't told my dh. he'll leave me because he'll think i cheated on him again. i can't have him leave me! i love him so much. how do i tell my kids im giving birth to a dolphone baby??? will it have human eyes? arms? legs? oh god! please help!

Replies

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    April 6, 2013 at 9:36 AM

    Nothing funny about rape, you should have drowned.

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    April 6, 2013 at 9:36 AM

    laughingName the baby Flipper.

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    April 6, 2013 at 9:38 AM

     Nothing funny about drowning either.

     

     

    Quoting Anonymous:

    Nothing funny about rape, you should have drowned.

     

  • JadeSapphire
    April 6, 2013 at 9:49 AM

    *Ques "I wanna sex you up by Color Me Badd" Sings "Makin' love until we droooowwnnn"..

  • ToolArmy066
    April 6, 2013 at 9:49 AM
    Ok, the first thing you gotta do is get the morning after pill, there's a special one you can buy at the Chinese fish market. Once you get there look for a guy named Cheng-gong, just tell him i sent you and he'll take care of you. He's really helped me out of a couple jams (gotta thing for marine animals dh dosen't know about). If that dosen't work msg me, you have other options.
  • lil_Army_Wife05
    April 6, 2013 at 9:50 AM
    Lame
  • Bethsunshine
    April 6, 2013 at 9:51 AM

    Oh man, this is the funniest thing I've read on  here in a long time!!

  • Schmoopi
    April 6, 2013 at 9:52 AM

     group hug

  • Bethsunshine
    April 6, 2013 at 9:52 AM

    Great, now I have the "Flipper" theme song running through my head!!

  • LyTe684
    by LyTe684
    April 6, 2013 at 9:54 AM
    You will birth a rhino.

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