Mom Confessions

AliKatAK47
Bratty kid =/= Autism
April 3, 2013 at 6:40 PM
I don't have and ASD kid so I know I will get pounded to the ground for this but I am sick of every bratty kid being called Autistic.

I was talking to my aunt about my friend and her little brother and how the kid is the biggest brat ever. I was telling her how he throws tantrums If he doesn't get what he wants and will hit,scream and bite. I was telling her how he is 3 and still isn't potty trained because he wants to go in his diaper and will kick you in the pelvis if you try to get him to sit on the toilet. And if you talk to him he will call you names and slap you or throw something at you. Her reply to this "oh he must have a little Autism".

Uhh no. How about he is a bratty kid with pushover parents that see having a violent, out of control kid that still shits himself as something cute and will stuff him with candy as a reward for being "cuddly". They refuse to parent him or teach him anything. They just pass the responsibility off to his sister and his sister hates him but does more for him in a weekend than they do daily.

Even on here I see that. Every time a bratty kid is mentioned its "oh he must have Autism -or something else-so you can't call him a brat". How about the kid is just a brat without some disorder? Unless shitty parent syndrome and shitty attitude disorder are medically diagnosable conditions.

Replies

  • fairyjester
    April 3, 2013 at 6:46 PM

     i kinda agree with you.

    I have a truellly autistic son who by the way is not the least bit bratty.

     

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    April 3, 2013 at 6:54 PM

    I'm autistic.  I was not a brat.  I have a son who has autism, and he is pretty great kid.  BUT there are things you listed that I did and my son still does that is not being a brat.  The big one is potty training.  Potty training on the spectrum is difficult.  Do not judge this child or his mom and dad too harshly over the potty training.  The average age of a child with autism being potty trained is 8, even high functioning children.

    I did not potty train until I was 4, because I was terrified of the toilet and releasing my bowel movements into the toilet.  It is not a rationale fear, but it's an issue with sensory.  I would consistently constipate myself to avoid going to the bathroom, because I was scared of the toilet.  I did this well into my pre-teens.  I made myself very sick.  My son is 9, and he JUST potty trained.  When my mom made me do something that terrified me I would react violently.  So did my son. 

    That being said, there probably is some brat factor there.  I know a lot of parents who do not believe in disciplining special needs children.  One mother in particular has a child with downs syndrome, he's cute as a button, but he is the biggest little shit.  I coached the VIP soccer league here (adapted soccer), I kicked him off the field for telling someone that he was going to kill them.  Not acceptable from ANY child.  

    On the other hand, there are a LOT of bratty kids who are neurotypical.  There was parent I was acquanted with, who said that she didn't want my retard around her kid, and her kid was a little shit.  

  • irvinehiker
    April 3, 2013 at 6:57 PM

    Ok, you do make some good points and I agree that autism shouldn't be an excuse.  I have a DS with autism.  He was 5 before he was toilet trained and it certainly wasn't bc I didn't try.  Many days after he would go to bed I would cry bc I felt like a failure as a mother bc I couldn't train him.  My son screams and acts out in public.  I don't excuse it I deal with it.  I'm sure if you saw me in the middle of the grocery store with a screaming kid you might think it's bad parenting, believe me it's not.  Having an autistic child is emotionally exhausting.  

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    April 3, 2013 at 6:59 PM
    How about even bratty kids need intervention? Do you think this will go away the first time the parents follow through on a request?
    I have worked with children on the spectrum who yes, are brats. The brat part having nothing to do with the autism part. Even then, they don't magically stop being brats over night because you finally put your foot down/get the family to do so. It still takes months of reteaching.
  • AliKatAK47
    April 3, 2013 at 7:01 PM
    I swear no one can read. He DOES NOT have Autism. He is just a bratty kid that people *think* is Autistic because of his behavior. He isn't potty trained because he told his mom that he would like to keep shitting in his diaper (and yes he said shit because that is the kind of kid he is).
    Quoting Anonymous:

    I'm autistic.  I was not a brat.  I have a son who has autism, and he is pretty great kid.  BUT there are things you listed that I did and my son still does that is not being a brat.  The big one is potty training.  Potty training on the spectrum is difficult.  Do not judge this child or his mom and dad too harshly over the potty training.  The average age of a child with autism being potty trained is 8, even high functioning children.

    I did not potty train until I was 4, because I was terrified of the toilet and releasing my bowel movements into the toilet.  It is not a rationale fear, but it's an issue with sensory.  I would consistently constipate myself to avoid going to the bathroom, because I was scared of the toilet.  I did this well into my pre-teens.  I made myself very sick.  My son is 9, and he JUST potty trained.  When my mom made me do something that terrified me I would react violently.  So did my son. 

    That being said, there probably is some brat factor there.  I know a lot of parents who do not believe in disciplining special needs children.  One mother in particular has a child with downs syndrome, he's cute as a button, but he is the biggest little shit.  I coached the VIP soccer league here (adapted soccer), I kicked him off the field for telling someone that he was going to kill them.  Not acceptable from ANY child.  

    On the other hand, there are a LOT of bratty kids who are neurotypical.  There was parent I was acquanted with, who said that she didn't want my retard around her kid, and her kid was a little shit.  

  • AliKatAK47
    April 3, 2013 at 7:22 PM

    I agree. Brats need some sort of stucture and intervention but it really isn't fair to call them Autistic just because they are brats. It is that trend of labeling all bratty kids "Autistic" or "ADHD" that gives  truely Autistic and kids who really have ADHD a bad name. Now people think that a symptom of Autism is bratty behavior.

    Quoting Anonymous:

    How about even bratty kids need intervention? Do you think this will go away the first time the parents follow through on a request?
    I have worked with children on the spectrum who yes, are brats. The brat part having nothing to do with the autism part. Even then, they don't magically stop being brats over night because you finally put your foot down/get the family to do so. It still takes months of reteaching.


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