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Going to jail for 30 days... update, had court today
by Anonymous
March 8, 2013 at 12:04 AM
We are in a situation when my husband and I both could go to jail for 30 days. My SIL will be taking care of the kids for that time if it happens. I am scared that she will try to petition for custody of DD2 (3yo) based on abandonment. She keeps telling family how much DD2 likes to spend time with her and be at her house. And "jokes" about how we should just type up adoption papers.






My question is, if both of us do go to jail for 30 days is that considered abandonment? Could she try for custody of DD2? She would not try for custody of the youngest or the oldest. I am so worried and scared.









Edit: Petty theft. We were at Wal-Mart walking around. We grabbed a bag of diapers for ds and went to the pet part of the store to price fish tanks for dds fish. DD1 ran into an old school friend and they got to talking for a while. We all took our jackets off and threw them in the cart. We spent about 2 1/2 hours walking/talking. Forgot about the diapers in the cart. (This has happened before, when we noticed before we went right back in to pay for what we forgot about). This all happened right after we left church.









As we were walking out and getting the jackets, security people stopped us and told us to go with them and why. They took the other 2 jackets out of the cart and told us we were shop lifting. DH told them we were not trying to steal from them and told them we made an honest mistake. He had the money in his wallet, but they refused and then officers got involved and we were arrested.









We both have clean records. No previous history of anything. When we went to our court date Wednesday the state offered 30 days in jail for both of us. We are being tried as two separate cases.





Edit 2: Thank you to the few ladies who actually answered my question about my SIL trying to go for custody of DD2. I am very paranoid when it comes to my kids and after all the damn "joking" from SIL I am freaked out!! I don't want to be away from them for one second, let alone 30 days! I couldn't imagine what I would go through if the worst DID happen and when we got out we found out she tried to get custody of her. I probably would go to jail for assault/battery/murder.





This is real. Not a troll. I wish it wasn't!! This wasn't a question about IF we could go to jail for this stupidness. When we went Wednesday I did not think it was possible at all! Jail was not an option that ran through my head. We are letting the public defender take care of that part. I was and am only concerned for my daughter.



Update: 3/20

Obviously I am not in jail tonight! My husband was appointed the public defender and I was deferred to the regional counselor. This time the state offered 1 year probation, ACF class and community service hours. Only I have to do the community service. He got off that because of his job. Adjudication was with held! So as long as we do probation there will be no conviction on our records!



I was so over prepared! On top of the medical forms notarized I also had a paper at DD1s school done to appoint temp. guardianship in the event education decisions needed to be made. And to be able to have SIL sign her in/out, sign her planner and field trip permission slips; etc... we gave my mom the checkbook/bank card so she can take care of certain bills for 30 days. I wrote up a schedule for school stuff and Easter things/field trip stuff for SIL. We were ready and all of our ducks were in a row. I wanted to be sure anyone could see we did not plan to or want to abandon our kids. We tried to be responsible as we could where they were concerned.

So thankful that none of that preparation was necessary! Thank you to the ladies who offered real support and advise! Good night!

Replies

  • _mimimosley_
    March 8, 2013 at 12:22 AM
    Ask for work release or weekend incarceration. Its possible, or probation. Or have your dh ask to do the time.
  • Anonymous 6
    by Anonymous 6
    March 8, 2013 at 12:23 AM
    I call BS. You're not going to jail for 30 days for a pack of diapers, give me a break!
  • Anonymous 7
    by Anonymous 7
    March 8, 2013 at 12:23 AM

    You need to make sure your atty does not have you go to jail. this is a probation offense at best!!!!!!!!!

    Insist on a jury trial for one or both of you. make sure your cases are separate. plea your case to 12 peers!

    anymore questions, just quote me. this is NOT a jailable offense if your records are clean!

  • Anonymous 8
    by Anonymous 8
    March 8, 2013 at 12:24 AM
    Get a lawyer and fight the shit out of that.
  • Anonymous 2
    by Anonymous 2
    March 8, 2013 at 12:24 AM

    Do you have lawyers?

    Anyways, if you have no history and aren't considered "flight risks" as in, no passports and strong family connections to a foreign country, they'll most likely let you serve seperately.  If you explain you have kids, they'll give DH a report date, and after he does his time you'll have a report date.  That way you can have the kid staying with a custodial parent the entire time.

    If you have a pro-bono lawyer (court appointed) tell them to work for you and get it bumped down to a misdemeanor and community service.  Don't just take a deal that isn't going to work for you.

    Check out the website http://www.flexyourrights.org/   If the police didn't go by the book and do things correctly, you could get off scott free!

  • .Funfetti.
    March 8, 2013 at 12:24 AM

    I don't think you're going to jail for that, and I also don't think she can file to keep your kid. 

  • Anonymous 9
    by Anonymous 9
    March 8, 2013 at 12:25 AM
    Sounds odd. Usually if you have the money, they will let you pay. But I also know that Walmart has every vase prosecuted.
  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    March 8, 2013 at 12:25 AM
    Both of us filed for a public defender, but because we are married only one of us will be appointed a public defender, the other will have someone else appointed.... I forgot what she called him.

    BUT... the court date is before the public defender appointment. I hope we don't sit in jail waiting on the public defender to get our papers and then be brought back to court to find out no jail time was necessary! We have 3 kids. 1 tween and 2 under 3. I am also 30 weeks pregnant.

    Quoting LoveTragedyFun:

    I find it odd that you would go to jail for a minor, first time offense. You are more likely to face a fine. It is highly unlikey they are gonna toss your asses in jail for $20 worth of diapers.

  • katzmeow726
    March 8, 2013 at 12:26 AM

    I don't think she'll be able to do that. As long as you arrange care for the set time you are in jail (if you actually DO go), they can not go for abandonment.  That said, it would be wise to find someone other than this SIL if you can

  • AllofFive19
    March 8, 2013 at 12:27 AM

    If you don't have a public defender before the court date, the court date can be postponed.

    Quoting Anonymous:

    Both of us filed for a public defender, but because we are married only one of us will be appointed a public defender, the other will have someone else appointed.... I forgot what she called him.

    BUT... the court date is before the public defender appointment. I hope we don't sit in jail waiting on the public defender to get our papers and then be brought back to court to find out no jail time was necessary! We have 3 kids. 1 tween and 2 under 3. I am also 30 weeks pregnant.

    Quoting LoveTragedyFun:

    I find it odd that you would go to jail for a minor, first time offense. You are more likely to face a fine. It is highly unlikey they are gonna toss your asses in jail for $20 worth of diapers.


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