My mind is spinning. My dh and I recently celebrated our 6th anniversary. I couldn't sleep last night and I saw his cell light up. So I checked it out, and while I was looking I saw a naked pic of some woman. I literally had to hold the phone in both hands bc they were shaking so bad. I felt dizzy,and I'm not a dramatic person. So I dig further, and there are message after message from him to several different people that he'd responded to under "casual encounters" or whatever on Craigslist, and the messages were explicit, and he was talking dirty in a way that I didn't recognize him. I'm no prude, but I was like, "who the hell is ths man??" I felt like I was dreaming. In his messages, he sent a pic of him, his height, weight and penis size (it's really hard to actually be typing this out). Along with telling them he is married. Then, when asked when they could meet, my dh gave them the correct time he'd be off work. So he gave ALL his real info. I have a reason for explaining all this, please bear with me! He had also made a comment to one of the women asking if her husband was going to be a part of it too!!! There were tons of naked pics of women off of Craigslist, so a lot different than masturbating to women on the internet that he'd never actually meet. There were also ads looking for bi couples, and just a bunch of crap I would have NEVER imagined. So as soon as he woke up, I held up the phone and asked if he wanted to tell me anything. It took him forever, then his excuse was that he just masturbates alot, and it is just a fantasy thing. He said he only talked to them so they would send him a picture!! He said he's never physically cheated on me, and never would. All I could say was, "what else WOULD you tell the wife?" I told him it was all bulls***. I'm still in shock, I have maybe one friend who I can talk to about this. I don't have a clue about what to do. I feel numb, and I am at home with my little ones so I'm also having to hide my emotions. Do you think you would believe him? Please give me your opinion! My heart is breaking, the kids are down for their nap now, so I've had a chance to read replies. Thank you for the hugs and advice. We have been married just over six years. I'll try to just reply back to the things I remember you all posted.....I NEVER was suspicious of him until today. I am NOT naturally trusting person, and I have always been able to pick up on subleties(am sensitive to red flags, or so I thought) And someone asked if he had bi tendencies, and I would have said no for sure. I don't know what I know a
nymore. When he left for work this morning, I kept his phone so he couldn't do the obvious deleting. He was logged in to his fb, so I changed his password. I'm trying to figure out how to print everything out. He has called many times, and even had a mutual friend call me! I'm grateful for your posts, and those that offered to chat I will be taking you up on that. I had a good cry, I'm sure there will be more.....I will be back to update
Masturbation is an addiction. its a very quiet one too. Some.people don't realize it snow balls for.some.men... they watch the porn, then start talking, then it.gets.to a point of acting upon it. he needs help and if he.doesn't see it as cheating then... well u need to have a long talk.
It all depends on what YOU believe. Tell him to show you all the phone records, see if he has call any of these women, check the bank and if you believe that he hasn't met any of these woman, you all need some SERIOUS counseling.
Personally, I wouldn't really believe him...but then again, he really shouldn't expect you to. He's lost your trust whether he was physical with anybody else or not. Talk to him and see if he is willing to go to therapy. It's up to you whether or not you want to work through this or leave.