Mom Confessions

Anonymous
The "Dirty Family"
by Anonymous
February 22, 2013 at 12:29 PM

There's a lady that comes in where I work regulary enough that we all know her name and that she has 7 kids. A lady that I work with says she and her family also occasionally attend their church on special occasions and they are known as "the dirty family". Now, I don't know much about this church, but I hope that they don't exclude them or treat them poorly because of their reputation for being dirty. BUT, let me share what I've observed about this family and then follow it with a thought and open the floor for opinions.

1. The mother, who we see most frequently, is indeed sad looking. Her hair is extremely greasy. Her clothes are ragged and usually don't match. Her teeth are in poor shape and she has a slight odor. When she visits 2 days in a row, it's not uncommon for her to be wearing the same clothes.

2. Her children are in similar condition. Their clothes don't typically fit. They never match. Their hair is greasy and they do indeed appear dirty. Unfortunately, they aren't always dressed warmly enough for the cold weather.

You get the idea. I feel terrible for these children. While this lady appears to be very loving and attentive, I am concerned about their hygiene and overall health and basic needs. I am not opposed to large families. I know people who have several children and are delightful families. But they are clean and, while I'm sure sacrifices are being made, no one is doing without. I just can't help but think, If you are to the point that you aren't bathing and you and your children don't have decent (not designer or extravagant) clothing, you probably have over-extended yourselves and have had more children than you should have and should stop? I understand some people have always wanted large families and that's great and I am all about making your desires happen. But, at some point, don't you have to put what you want on the back burner until it's doable? I know I want another baby, but I am putting that on the back burner because it's not a good time. I hate it. But I know it's best. Thoughts?

Replies

  • goddiddlyumshis
    February 22, 2013 at 12:32 PM
    To each their own. that's sad, though.
  • EvilAsh
    by EvilAsh
    February 22, 2013 at 12:34 PM

    What kind of church is acting that way towards some of its own? That's not right. They should be aiming to help these people, not putting them down.

    I think people do live outside of their means, whether it's 2 kids or 7. I know my family probably shouldn't have another child adding into it soon, at least not yet, but we're doing it anyway (kind of late now anyway LOL). I was thinking I wanted to wait until I finish my degree and start working again, but I'll be 30 and I don't want to be having babies in my 30's. 

    I'd make any sacrifice I could for my kids though. So they could at least be clean and healthy and have clothes that fit properly.

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous - Original Poster
    February 22, 2013 at 12:40 PM

     I'm not sure about the church situation. I know they only go on special occasions. As far as the rest, I'm not sure. We want another baby too, but we are kinda refusing to add anymore financial obligations to the table. We already have 2. We are living beyond our means and don't plan to.


    Quoting EvilAsh:

    What kind of church is acting that way towards some of its own? That's not right. They should be aiming to help these people, not putting them down.

    I think people do live outside of their means, whether it's 2 kids or 7. I know my family probably shouldn't have another child adding into it soon, at least not yet, but we're doing it anyway (kind of late now anyway LOL). I was thinking I wanted to wait until I finish my degree and start working again, but I'll be 30 and I don't want to be having babies in my 30's. 

    I'd make any sacrifice I could for my kids though. So they could at least be clean and healthy and have clothes that fit properly.


     

  • Paranoai
    February 22, 2013 at 12:42 PM

    EXACTLY. That is why i dont like "church" people. Instead of judging her, maybe some of you should talk about how you can help her. Maybe donating some clothes, donating time to help with laundry, babysitting so she can get a break.

    I love it how church people talk about being a family, a community but never do they actually act like it.

    Quoting EvilAsh:

    What kind of church is acting that way towards some of its own? That's not right. They should be aiming to help these people, not putting them down.

    I think people do live outside of their means, whether it's 2 kids or 7. I know my family probably shouldn't have another child adding into it soon, at least not yet, but we're doing it anyway (kind of late now anyway LOL). I was thinking I wanted to wait until I finish my degree and start working again, but I'll be 30 and I don't want to be having babies in my 30's. 

    I'd make any sacrifice I could for my kids though. So they could at least be clean and healthy and have clothes that fit properly.


  • EvilAsh
    by EvilAsh
    February 22, 2013 at 12:43 PM

    We're still living within our means, and moving, my husband is looking for a better job for when we move. We've also been slowly buying all the baby stuff. I'm not even 14 weeks and all we need is clothes, crib bedding, diapers, and maybe bottles.

    Quoting Anonymous:

     I'm not sure about the church situation. I know they only go on special occasions. As far as the rest, I'm not sure. We want another baby too, but we are kinda refusing to add anymore financial obligations to the table. We already have 2. We are living beyond our means and don't plan to.


    Quoting EvilAsh:

    What kind of church is acting that way towards some of its own? That's not right. They should be aiming to help these people, not putting them down.

    I think people do live outside of their means, whether it's 2 kids or 7. I know my family probably shouldn't have another child adding into it soon, at least not yet, but we're doing it anyway (kind of late now anyway LOL). I was thinking I wanted to wait until I finish my degree and start working again, but I'll be 30 and I don't want to be having babies in my 30's. 

    I'd make any sacrifice I could for my kids though. So they could at least be clean and healthy and have clothes that fit properly.




  • EvilAsh
    by EvilAsh
    February 22, 2013 at 12:45 PM

    Yeah, for real. I don't get it. Some churches are good people, don't get me wrong, but I don't get people like that. When we had a fire, we weren't even part of a church, a woman actually watched the fire happen from down the street a bit, she ran treasury in a church or something, she saw we had a toddler and newborn and wanted to help. She walked over and handed me a check for $150. That's what faith should be about; helping those in need.

    Quoting Paranoai:

    EXACTLY. That is why i dont like "church" people. Instead of judging her, maybe some of you should talk about how you can help her. Maybe donating some clothes, donating time to help with laundry, babysitting so she can get a break.

    I love it how church people talk about being a family, a community but never do they actually act like it.

    Quoting EvilAsh:

    What kind of church is acting that way towards some of its own? That's not right. They should be aiming to help these people, not putting them down.

    I think people do live outside of their means, whether it's 2 kids or 7. I know my family probably shouldn't have another child adding into it soon, at least not yet, but we're doing it anyway (kind of late now anyway LOL). I was thinking I wanted to wait until I finish my degree and start working again, but I'll be 30 and I don't want to be having babies in my 30's. 

    I'd make any sacrifice I could for my kids though. So they could at least be clean and healthy and have clothes that fit properly.



  • davnrori
    February 22, 2013 at 12:47 PM

     My great-grandparents had 12 children and were extremely, extremely poor but they were always clean. My great grandma always said that you can't help being poor but there's no excuse for dirty because everyone can afford soap.

  • Maevelyn
    February 22, 2013 at 12:47 PM

    poor, ragged clothes it one thing, dirty is another. You don't need hot water, a washing machine or really a lot to say clean if you really want to. 

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous - Original Poster
    February 22, 2013 at 12:48 PM

     I'd rather not judge the church at this point. They only attend a few times a year, so people may not know how to help them or have had enough of a chance to even talk to them. And I don't know much about the church situation.


    Quoting Paranoai:

    EXACTLY. That is why i dont like "church" people. Instead of judging her, maybe some of you should talk about how you can help her. Maybe donating some clothes, donating time to help with laundry, babysitting so she can get a break.

    I love it how church people talk about being a family, a community but never do they actually act like it.

    Quoting EvilAsh:

    What kind of church is acting that way towards some of its own? That's not right. They should be aiming to help these people, not putting them down.

    I think people do live outside of their means, whether it's 2 kids or 7. I know my family probably shouldn't have another child adding into it soon, at least not yet, but we're doing it anyway (kind of late now anyway LOL). I was thinking I wanted to wait until I finish my degree and start working again, but I'll be 30 and I don't want to be having babies in my 30's. 

    I'd make any sacrifice I could for my kids though. So they could at least be clean and healthy and have clothes that fit properly.



     

  • christina0607
    February 22, 2013 at 12:50 PM

    Everyone judges, it's ludacris to think just because these people are inside a church that would change. 

    People who go to church are just like people who don't. 

    Quoting Paranoai:

    EXACTLY. That is why i dont like "church" people. Instead of judging her, maybe some of you should talk about how you can help her. Maybe donating some clothes, donating time to help with laundry, babysitting so she can get a break.

    I love it how church people talk about being a family, a community but never do they actually act like it.

    Quoting EvilAsh:

    What kind of church is acting that way towards some of its own? That's not right. They should be aiming to help these people, not putting them down.

    I think people do live outside of their means, whether it's 2 kids or 7. I know my family probably shouldn't have another child adding into it soon, at least not yet, but we're doing it anyway (kind of late now anyway LOL). I was thinking I wanted to wait until I finish my degree and start working again, but I'll be 30 and I don't want to be having babies in my 30's. 

    I'd make any sacrifice I could for my kids though. So they could at least be clean and healthy and have clothes that fit properly.



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